You did a great job with this story. I hope you'll write about the end. Everything seems too easy though, but I still like it.

This is god...but why isnt min in there *or does something happen in Knife of Dreams that I havent read about yet causemy damn library is so freakin slow and I have the rest of the collection in paperback*

/drumroll/ dum-dum-dah... Sorry, I couldn't help it. _ A wonderful chapter, though I do believe you could have included it at the bottom of chapter 19. It would spare you a short chapter at least. :) Hope to see more soon!

~neela~

Aww.. Sweet, sappy chapter! Though I am not a cryer, you certainly had me sad there... I just wonder on a few things: Are you going to kill off all the men in WoT? It certainly looks that way.. ;p And where's Min?

This was a wonderful chapter, please continue! I would hate not to see an end to this (in a positive way).

~neela~

P.S. I may be the best reviewer, but am I not also the fastest? _

That's an action-filled chapter! Very good, although Faile was very OOC. I do not think she would have broken down like that (she's a hard woman)... But otherwise, I liked it very much! I do not understand why you feel you need my help - you seem to be handling things very well! _ Keep up the good work!

~neela~

P.S. It would be nice if you could separate the change of PoV with either doubled spaces or a horizontal line. It can be a little confusing...

I have enjoyed the story, you are very good at this.

I hope to see some new chapters soon.

Ooh... Interesting, I like it. Well-written, as always, if not a little short. But when will the action begin? Next chapter, maybe? :)

~neela~

Right, I have decided to award you with in-depth review, where I will point out all the things I like and don't like, for each chapter individually. While this here probably won't boost your ego as much as a 'Omg, dude, this is so sweet. MOREMORE!' review, I hope that I can help you improve your writing in a long-term perspective.

I have more 'bad' things than 'good' things listed, because 'bad' things just shine so much brighter. Your story isn't bad, and I did read trough half of it. I'll read the other half later, as it is 2.30 in the morning right now, but I will admit that I was forced to read trough chapter 9 even after planning to only read half and stop at chapter 8.

Chapter 1 : The initial description is pretty much 'in your face', but I can live with that.

Chapter 2 : The meeting between Rand and his father didn't impress me. I'll assume that they met before this instance, but their feelings felt cold (Rand calls Tam, Tam, not father. And Tam calls Rand the Lord Dragon), without a description in the text telling us why this would be so. Maybe by telling something about what happened between them the first time they met after Rand became the Dragon, things would work better. At least for me.

Chapter 3 : Ok.

Chapter 4 : Rand's first reply to Lan has a misspelling in it. And that parenthesis about the old tongue does the same to the suspension of disbelief that a Magnum fired into your knee does for your sporting career. It was cool of you to refer to the Hawkwing court however.

Chapter 5 : The jump to Elyas POW was way too fast. The way you wrote it could work in a movie-script I think, but in here you should have stated something like "At the same time as Rand and X left to search for Perrin, Elyas was in place Y, sniffing the air..." Right now I got confused if you forgot that you mentioned 4 paragraphs earlier that Elyas was gone too.

Chapter 6 : Paragraph 4, last line, misspelling. Paragraph 6, a 'with' between 'communicate' and 'him'. I also think the transformation back felt too hasty, but that's just an opinion.

Chapter 7 : I just wanted to remind you that Rand can channel, he could make a short-range portal to get back to the camp (like the ones used in the search for Faile, for example). When fingering the male-angreal he should have 'felt', not 'would feel', because he did feel that he would have the upper hand at that particular moment because he already had the angreal then. If he would have gotten it later then he 'would feel', when thinking about it.

Chapter 8 : Hey, I really your dialogue at the start of the chapter. About the cannons, I would like to dispute their effectiveness vs. the one power, especially as they were only fired once. Why couldn't he reload them? I'm also unsure about the military brilliance of a massive, long distance, charge, especially when you have superiority in ranged weapons (cannons, bows, one power), but oh well. And the discussion betwenn Tam (who you misspelled once) and Gareth. Isn't it a bit weird that Gareth would think that Tam died in the Aiel wars, with Rand, the Lord Dragon, being his son and all? Possible, but not in my opinion probable.

Chapter 9 : Wow, Perrins wolves sure know timing. But aren't 5.0 wolves going to play hell with wildlife in the area? Or do they eat the trollocs? The second sentence in the second-last paragraph could do with some work.

Anyway, I hope you continue with this story, it is much more interesting than the millions of Aes Sedai trials, Mary Sues and parodies that litter this place.

An update! At last! _ This was a great chapter, althought I find it a little OOC that the Ogiers should fight. Aren't they normally a very peaceful people? Oh well, you're a good writer, so it doesn't matter. :) Keep up the excellent work and update soon!

~neela~

Hi! Sorry I haven't reviewed until now, but Internet's been #"L(I#UY"##"#)"(#)! Well, you get my point. :)

Another good chapter, I can see it perfectly happen in any of the books. So please continue - I want more (*little child*) I want, I want, I want more... _

Sorry about this slightly out-of-character review, but I've had chocolate and I finally got on the Internet!

Keep up the good work!

~neela~

P.S. Still want more Nynaeve/Lan shipping here... :)

Interesting plot twist! Now I want more...

Oh, the plot thickens! *excited* This is turning out quite the story, so don't you stop it now! I want continuation... _ Well written, as always. Update soon!

~neela~

more please!

As always, a good chapter. )

You had me a bit confused a sec when you talked about Mat and he said something and then "they continued to walk..." Is it just an error or are there two people walking together?

And I look forward to the next chapter! I just love Nynaeve! _ Keep up the good work, update soon!

~neela~

interesting...

maybe even intriguing...

a bit of a cliff-hanger...

go on...

UPDATE AGAIN OR FACE MAH WRATH!

~wiThout s4nity