love it cant wait for more soon! update soon

Wow. Very powerful little piece you have here. I love it. Great job. The writing style and the topic you've chosen are great and unique

Poignantly written.

Interestingly enough, I had two thoughts about Kagome's red eyes at the end of the story: one was that she'd been crying for some reason, and the other was that perhaps Naraku had "infected" her somehow, for lack of a better word, or she had somehow become like him, but of course a reflection of her thoughts makes sense, too. I got the Hades/Persephone reference with the pomegranates, and your imagery did the myth some gorgeous justice. Ethereal, seductive piece.

What a poignant, thought-provoking story! You have a way with words that I find hard to describe. Suffice to say, I think you're quite talented.

I picked up on the Persephone allusion right away, and it gave me chills! Especially the fact that she ate the entire thing. As you are very well aware, Persephone only ate six pomegranate seeds so she only had to be in the underworld six months out of the year. So if Kagome ate the entire thing...? That's what was going through my head when I got chills. Excellent!

Oh, I need to find it. There was one line in which you described Naraku's eyes and I don't know when I've ever been so affected by a metaphor. Here it is: 'They are hooded and deep, red edged with black, fire enclosed by a trail of ash.' I'm not sure why exactly, but that just struck me as being incredibly profound.

I'm still in the process of checking out your other stuff, but this is wonderful. I don't know that I have the imaginative fortitude to take on a character like Naraku; I can't commend you enough. It looks like you haven't been around for a while, but if you ever do come back (and I certainly hope you do, talent like yours is a commodity) perhaps you might check out the project I'm working on? A critique from someone of your calibre would be very beneficial, I have no doubt. Whether you're here or not, I hope you're still writing! Take care!

All the Best,

~Gretch

Just . . . wow. I love it; and I also love the fact that you put meaning into it. I love the way it unfolds. You are a brilliant writer, must I say _

This fic is very creepy and rather complicated in my opinion. And for that...I love it.

Very good. I was slightly confused to start; I thought you were referring to Kagura and Naraku, because Kagura has red eyes, but the mention of Inuyasha cleared that up.

Well done.

-The Night Mare

Softly heavens tears shall fall,

A blessing on the lovers all.

Tiny stars may melt away,

But love shall see no dying die.

so far so good

Wow...your story is very deep...its very unique. I really enjoyed it. Hm...I'll go now,... continue writing please...

i liked it

Absolutely beautiful! Wow; I went for the NarKag immediately, hoping for something palatable, and I ended up stumbling right into a fanfiction-feast. XD

This is a stunning story, and it lends real power to the NK couple. It's a pairing I love, but it's so rarely written properly. Here, it's not only well-introduced, but it's wonderfully dark and ominous. There's nothing warm and fluffy about it, and it seems like no one gets out alive.

The fire and gold analogy is perfect. At first, I couldn't figure out where you were going with it - but once Naraku said it outright, I just went, "Of course." XD So much fun, and such subtle imagery.

I notice that the last section seems a bit rushed. Your style didn't suffer or anything; there are just one strange sentence that threw off the flow of the story. " . . . how immediately fall into a lull and stare at her go by" is a bit fractured, as though you were thinking one thing and writing another.

In all, I love this idea, and I love the way you fleshed it out. Amazing one-shot, both atmospheric and powerful. Thank you so much for the wonderful read. _

Wow! This is pretty interesting n.n

You've really thought about what you were going to write. And everything makes sense. It's absolutely amazing. The way you put it together. The way you wrote it. It's beautiful. Also the story itself. So sad, yet kinda refreshing. I hope you write more stories like this. I'd really like to review such. It isn't everyday that you read something so good.

Ja ne.

beautiful,and so is one of a kind and wonderfully written. I loved it!

PERFECT REPRESENTATION ! i knew what it ment but i love it please write more of these