Done. Don't want nightmares.

You aren't thinking about the level of automation or computer assistance that ought to be available as a component of the suit those guys were wearing. They ought to just indicate through a heads-up display where they want to land in a jump, then trigger it. No need to mimic the unamplified jump to set the suit into motion.

An "advanced" civilization that can't synthesize any chemical substance has a serious weakness. I don't think any plot element or piece of the story should revolve around technology the characters in the story ought to have but don't, like that ability so synthesize any organic or inorganic substance.

The prologue really grabbed me. Painting more of a picture of the place would help me visualize it. More details about the two characters would help too.
So far so good ...

Hey,

I just read through the chapters you have available (1-9) and I thought they were just great. Very good writing that just needs a little polishing here and there. Good plotting and excellent dialogue. Great job!

If I had any criticisms it would just be that there could better descriptions of characters and environments in some places. I have the same problem in my own writing, so I'm not criticizing too much:)

Thanks for the great story! Can't wait to read more.

I like the idea of the M.I vs Aliens and of course the Predators had 2 b there 2! Shame about the K9 squads getting killed so early, that was the 1 thing that I wanted expanded on in the book.

Not so sure that a Predators staff/spear could slice through that much armor, but hey u never know with these pesky aliens!

In my favs, update soon.

I'm almost ashamed of myself for having this story in my favorites for so long and never reviewing it.

While, having never seen them, I can't comment on the "Roughneck Chronicles", "Alien(s, I, etc...)" and "Predator) aspects, I can easily say that not only did you succeed in remaining true to the book in most aspects, but that the little touches from the book were carried over good. (Like how it's "Always 'The Lieutenant', never 'Mr. Rasczak' or even 'Lt. Rasczak.' Simply 'The Lieutenant'" or the almost-reference to his father and the Regatos with Rico and Coles.)

Really, I've only found one flaw, and it may not even be one if its different in the series than in the book, but in the book it says that Rico's father's name is Emilio Rico. Minor really.

All I can really say is that whenever you chose to write more, there'll be at least one person waiting ready to read.

Just a nitpick - Rasczak would be referred to as Lieutenant, not Mister. (Lt. in stead of Mr.)

I've got this on my alert list, meaning your story actually mails me when it's updated, so the wait isn't so bad.

You are still omitting some words every now and then, which makes me think you don't have a beta reader. Having a beta reader can really clean one's writing up, if one let's everyone know who's boss.

Well, carry on.

I have only one little critique: Rasczak asks Coles if a break in through the water system is possible. This really a minor critique, but the leader of an elite unit would never ask if something were possible, but would ask how it could be done. It's just a part of the culture.

Rasczak is the type of guy that keeps the 'Rangers Handbook' under his pillow:-)

So this is an Aliens crossover. That’s fine with me, as long as they’re smarter than Steve Perry’s aliens. You omitted a few commas where natural breaks were, but this is going well.

Crap! I'm sorry for not reviewing earlier! I'd whack my head against the keyboard a la Dobby, but I'm in the computer lab at school and everyone thinks I'm weird as it is.

Anyway, I really like how you set the tone and how the Prologue ends with the beginning of the adventure part. I'll read ahead later, but now I have to go to TOK.

Later, Dude.

Simply Myself

Have just read the first three chapters and am looking forward to reading more - please keep going. Thanks.

Cool, you moved! It caused a shake-up in my C2 archive, because the story id changed, but this is the rightful place. Your review was kind, and updating this story was doubly so. Thanks on both counts.

You described the jump pretty well. Keep up the fine work.

Robert A. Heinlein has his own category, you know. I was lucky to ever dredge this out of that unnecessary slush pile you buried it in. What in le domaine de l'enfer were you thinking?

Well, that’s a detail not connected to your writing skills. You got the tense wrong early in chapter two. Rasczak kept it to himself, ‘kay?

In chapter one, I wondered why you didn’t write in first-person, as Heinlein so skillfully did. The perspective was seemingly made for low-level grunt narrative, and would have given stimulus to the plot.

Welcome to my C2 community. Keep writing.