Dearest Bard, you have touched me deeply with your story. It’s so rich and dark yet full of promise, delicate and intimate, rough and unforgiving. Your characters, both borrowed and original, are characterized to the point they seem real: you can reach to them and they in turn reach you back. You have avoided perfection and rigidness to achieve realism in the arms of fantasy fiction, and that is a feat very few writers rarely even glimpse, amateurs and professionals alike. What’s more, I have had the pleasure of reading your evolution as a writer, of experiencing the ripening of your skills. You say you started this story when you were a teen, and you posted your final notice when you were twenty-seven. This confirms my thesis: those who are born geniuses remain geniuses throughout their lives.
I don’t want you to feel remorseful by this story. I don’t want it to haunt you; I want it to accompany you. Let it trade guiltiness for strength. Be proud of it. You have bewitched, charmed, enamored quite a legion of admirers and you must know by now that your ‘Persephone’ is included among the Labyrinth fantasy fiction canon. With good reason at that!
Like many others stories in his fandom, the topic of the power struggle reigns supreme. Your work is the most notable exception, since it is the only one were Sarah reacts with her guts, were she cannot deny her nature or her feelings. Awe, terror, budding desire, revulsion, and the longing for freedom always burning deep inside. I don’t think your Jareth would have followed the path to classical redemption just by feeling remorse and trying to change his ways, since the drafts you had for the continuation of the story show a masterful twist: let Sarah live her life to the fullest Aboveground and don’t control her Undergound. A ‘let her go’ of sorts. This is the only way for the soulmates trope to be born. Both characters outshine any other imitation in any other piece of fiction I have read. As for your loyal Xander, bubbly Lindel, pitiable Cossette, monstrous Draco, insidious Merfin…I have nothing but praise and admiration. Believe me, I have felt my stomach roil in fear, tears have threatened to fall and my eyes have pickled with laughter while I read their adventures.
I cannot hide my hope for a continuation sometime just like I cannot hide my gratitude and joy for having found your wonderful work. ‘What is said, is said!’, and what has been written cannot be unwritten. This gift you have so generously given cannot be given back. I, like many admirers have taken it with open arms. Thank you for your time, effort and creativity. I hope life treats you with generosity tenfold. Take care, Bard!

Firstly i want to say how much i enjoyed the story. I mean... it can be caused by my broken english skills but i read a many stories with J/S where it is pretty much all about abusive behavior in my opinion ~ but without the natural negative sides. Its like the authors forgot what they let their hero through in past sentence. Sarah in such plots is like unemotional doll. Taking hits (figuratively) and still coming for more. I often wondered what it would be like if any writer finally got to this problematic and written Sarah that doesnt like what Jareth is doing. That will not forgive him everything and anything, at least not immediately as if it never happened. Its not like i didnt enjoy these stories also but it was always stuck in my head that it doesnt seem quite alright. I excused it on flow of story and (sometimes) thought that Sarah is just a little bit more masochistic than could anyone see. (Of course there are stories that *are* all about this dynamics on purpose but im not talking about them rn.)
In your even unfinished story i found what i was subconsciously looking for. Thank you.
With light heart i can say i read this artpiece with baited breath and simultaneously pitied Sarah, hated Alexander for his lack of action and admired Merfin that felt like important character even if he didnt get much space to make appearance later on. Surprisingly i couldnt bring myself to hate Jareth fully. Im more angry at the unfair system ruling in this fae kingdom version where woman are still below men no matter their status. Wanting for Jareth to adopt aboveground view so fast, going against something that he was raised in, would be just... unfair. That doesnt diminish the impact of horrible behavior he maintains against Sarah yes, but it can also partially excuse or explain it.

Secondly I liked your ending. I think its the only way of making happy end for Jareth in this case. And well... we all love happy Jareth right? ;)

At the end and not less importantly i wish you a lot of health and improvement of your current situation. I also hope that one day you will finish one of your original stories and we will all get to read it after it gets published world wide
Best regards

Hey! I started reading this story when I was ~14. I just turned 29 yesterday. :) Just relaying my strong vote of confidence in you- your reflection on your work in this letter actually makes me really excited. You've done the work to realize what didn't work, and what needs to change. I wonder what it would be like for you to chop out the unforgivable pieces and to rework your story, even if... especially if it means a dramatic change of plans. Where would paths cross differently if Jareth had managed himself more thoughtfully? Who could enter to influence him to change? What if Jareth were to have the realization that you've come to, as men often eventually do, and had the opportunity to change his history? To go back and do it over again? To create a new path, that would allow him all new self.

As a person who's not only invested... half a lifetime fanning out over Persephone, but also tripped repeated over my own life, redefining myself over and over again- I feel a deep self-interest in helping you continue forward. I would like to beta for you, as deeply as you need, so that your ideas can come back to life once again. Please let me know if you'd like to talk. You're wonderful, and I'm sending you a lot of love for all you've done for me through your writing. 3

That story outline sounds ridiculous. You basically want Sarah to have a full life without Jareth and then just before shes about to die to decide to live with him. Yet he'll be waiting for her. Does she miraculously remain young in underground even when she turns 90. If you dislike the power dynamic a better ending would probably be to have them go their own separate ways.

lovely review :)

How about Sarah is now home ok. Years go by. But one night her house gets on fire thanks to her stepmother that tryed to kill everyone but her so she can get a lot of money out of it. Now Sarah's dad and Toby dies in the fire. But Sarah is saved thanks Jareth. Sarah asked if she can go back with him. He says yes, they fall in love and they have a baby girl. My name is Victoria McKelvey and I hope I help you out. Oh p.s. I love your story's.

Please I rilly want the ending. I want to see them in love and happy together not just friends. Please PLEASE.

It's great that you got this out of your sistem. There are probably hundreds of stories on fanfic that will never be finished. But by giving your thoughts and plot plans to your readers, you gave your readers many gifts - your time, your courage, your talent and THE END! and that is precious. Thank you!
Now i will have to read this fic again, because i have totally forgotten everything. :D
Good luck with your original stories!

Chapter Eight: someone has to stay with you in case you fever returns and you lose conciousness.

Isn't a loss of conciousness what you want if she's supposed to be sleeping?

Just had to be a smartass. Sorry. Love the book, I think it's currently in my favorites.

I occasionally come back to read this. Not the story, because it it lengthy and broke my heart the first time to find it unfinished. Then...then you posted your letter and my heart shattered. I find your strength, your insight into yourself to be...how to explain this heart-sick reverence in my chest? I reflect and feel that deeper longing, that...

I can't finish this review. But thank you for everything and I would gladly read anything you write, especially about yourself. Your honestly mesmerizes us.

Brilliant, dark story. I think it's even better that you didn't finish it, because that makes it even more memorable.I think the last chapter shows hope of a "happy" ending- where jareth learns not to abuse people and Sarah escapes him for good. A happy ending would definitely not be her forgetting the horrors he put her through- that would be as twisted as his abuse. You've written a morbidly fascinating relationship here, without romanticising a twisted view of love as control. it's one of the more gripping Fanfictions. I'd love to read more of your writing but I really don't think you should finish this story. On a side note, I think if the reader didn't initially associate the main characters as love interests, then i doubt they would root for jareth.

I can't remember if I've read this story before (I've read so much fanfiction it's hard to keep straight!), but I've little doubt that the last chapter, that is, your author's note, is likely the best one. There's something about honest writing that gets to me more than anything else! Your well-thought out ideas about the glorification of abusive relationships in fanfiction and specific fandoms is something I really resonate with. Something that you may find interesting on that note: I can enjoy written stories where one character holds all the cards (provided it's not always about shaming/physically abusing/etc. the other character), but I can't handle things like Game of Thrones. Somehow, actually seeing scenes of rape/abuse/power inbalances is a lot more distasteful to me that reading about it.

Anyway, thanks for writing such an awesome explanation for everyone. I do hope that things are going well as you cope with your illness. Take care!

It was nice that you gave us a summary of how you wanted the story to progress. I don't agree with your idea that sarah, after living her life to the full, at age 90 with cancer then decides she'll get with jareth. I understand your point of sarah making her own decisions but find it hard to believe jareth or any male would just wait patiently for 70 years whilst the person they want is living her life. If you wanted sarah to have a life aboveground and without jareth, then it would be more believable to have them go their separate ways.

I really loved your story. I feel like it displays a very realistic outcome of what Jareth's obsession with a human girl would've been. I felt so terrible for Sarah, even when it was clear that he didn't know what harm it was doing to treat her like he was. It irritates me when I read a Labyrinth fanfiction where he's being handsy and rough with her and she's still being receptive in spite of the unwelcome advances. Or even when they fall in love over a short period of time in spite of little relationship development. I'm sad that you didn't finish the story but grateful you left your ideas of what you wanted to happen. It gives me peace of mind even though I personally don't feel like Sarah would ever return his affections. Thank you for the wonderful story.

The need to comment. Sheesh, forgive me!
Nat King Cole's Monalisa's on my ears while reading this.
So fitting ~