I like your oneshot. I like the prompt. I disagree with what Kenshin is thinking here, and you're inspiring me to write my own oneshot for this moment. This was good for me three ways. :D Thanks.

Definitely an interesting perspective and could have been what he had been going through indeed. Great job! :D

I just watched the episode and this fits very well into it. Poor Kenshin

Hi again! Seems I couldn't abandon you completely, even if it is temporarily...ironic when you think of the fic I chose to read, ne?

This was very well done. There were grammatical errors, but they were well placed to add to the mood. Artistic licencey if you know what I mean. Formatting amazing. Disclaimer impressive.

I really am impressed with your skill to manage to convey this much emotion in such a short fic. I know how hard that can be to do. Also to bring it in pretty much proper order from beginning to middle to climax to end so quickly. It's really touching and insightful.

The only semi-fault I could find was that you got a little repetitive there. Wile it is often beneficial and standard practice to introduce the concept in the beginning, expand on the concept in the middle, and summarize the concept in the end to bring completion to the stories it's a little...well, repetitive, in such a short story. Then again I just complimented you for kind of the same thing in the last paragraph...shorter stories take such precise skill. I hope you kind of can tell the distinction. I have no room to talk as I haven't nearly mastered this technique really.

Character portrayal was very nice; I sympathized with Kenshin and hated Jinei. Good job, good job.

Thank you for all your time, skill, emotion, and effort! It is very much appreciated.

(I think I'm becoming depressed...need ibuprofen.)

the beaukty of fan fiction is that i can see a scene through someone elses eyes, a completely different unique perspective.

thank you,

ginny

WOW! i never thought about it that way...this is definitely going on my favs list!

ah awesome..

This was a very nice read. The prose was simple and straight. The scene is visualy re-affirmed and the moment is captured perfectly.

The second betraytal is a fitting title... lovely short-fic...Bye

Short but VERY good!

The triple betrayal aspect made it all the more wrenching of a decision for Kenshin, even though he was doing the right thing. Poor guy! It almost makes you wish he was a bit more pragmatic about killing, like Saitoh with his 'Aku Soku Zan' philosophy. I can't see Saitoh losing any sleep over eliminating a psycho like Jineh.

Ah well, it's the angst and the guilt that make Kenshin such a noteworthy character, and you captured that aspect nicely in your story.

Good job!

Hi. Wow. "Second Betrayal" was so sad and very insightful. I've never read this scene from Kenshin's point of view before, and this is a great one. Maybe you could have called it "Third Betrayal". But since it was happening while Kenshin was about to kill Jineh (Jinei), I guess "Second Betrayal" would have been better. But I really liked the last line. Though, in a way, she probably would've wanted him to move on.

Thanks for sharing this!

Good luck!

_

Very nice one shot. Good insight.

Thanks for using English. While I always watch subs, I really dislike it when authors put Japanese words in Enlish fics. Especially when the character already are speaking Japanese.

Oh! I REALLY like "hell is welcome to my soul"! Very powerful!

This is excellent. Well written, slightly confusing (though that was due to my stupidity), and very probable/in character. It is very serious and fits the timeline (as short as it is) very well. I didn't like the whole Tomoe bit, but I took it for the last sentence. (Guess what pairing I'm a fan of?) I also liked the second to last thought. Very nice.

I think perhaps the third betrayal is more important here than the second ... because the second is so dependant on the third. I just love the subtlety - you didn't have to bash us over the head with anything. Great writing, that.

I was a little confused by the first sentence (I thought, well, of course he's only thinking of Kaoru, what else is he supposed to think?) but perhaps that's exactly the confusion you want to generate. In that case, wow.

"Hell is welcome to my soul." Heh. Very Kenshin. Excellent insight here - his non-killing vow is so wrapped up in Tomoe's death that it makes perfect sense for him to be thinking about her right then. Loved it.

That was amazing, and really insightful! I loved how you added in the third betrayal. It made so much sense. Wow.

I never thought about what went through Kenshin's mind when this happened, and if I evr did this wouldn't have been close. I liked your idea about thinking about Tomoe and betraying her three times. This was interesting.