"Fun" story going on here. I am one who loves the dark side of the neptunia series, and I feel like this can be a pretty cool story. Only thing I see wrong is that typos are littered throughout the chapter. It may be good to write the story on Google Docs first to spell check it then transfer it here.

I posted a review about this story when it came out but apparently it didn't post correctly. TLDR, I love this dark neptunia stuff, but I would highly recommend spell check. The easiest way would probably be for you to write it in Google Docs, then paste it over to here when it's done.

This is why beta readers exist.
The pacing is all over the place, there's no rhyme or reason why Neptune is here aside from 'Just because' and while Neptune being with another version of herself is interesting, it doesn't sell itself well when the so called 'Situne' is just a stereotypical edgelord. Plus, the spelling. Invest in a spell check, it saves lives.
2/10 start. I think you can do a lot better than what was written here, because it feels like something you thought up an hour ago and published because it sounded a lot cooler in your head. Sorry if I sound rude.
- Yuri

Pretty interesting, can't wait for another chapter