You have some cases of 'elven' becoming 'eleven'.

I know that Persephone isn't all that hierarchy-oriented but the Elves are, especially the ones who live(d) in Middle Earth. It'd be fun to see one trying to deal with having once-upon-a-time ordered around someone who is now Eru's equal.
-Guest the Third

Haha ik kept looking for indications of timeframe... I'm so glad you updates, I really needed that after the exam I had today

Thanx for the chapter! should be getting interesting now...

Really ove this next installment. I hope shes in rivendell a bit before the war of the ring so she can properly meet the elves!
will Percy trip up and tell somebody who she it? I can't imagine her being very good at keeping a secret if she sees someone she recognises.
Keep up the good work. I'm amazed you can update so quickly. I love it but take care of yourself first! xx

She goes to the trouble of changing her appearance and keeps the same name?
Please tell me that she at least has the sense to tell Elrond and Galadriel of her identity as the original Percy. There are too few Elves left in Middle Earth for her to come up with a credible back story that they won't have the resources to verify plus she'll need the influence her position as the Defeater of Morgoth and Fingolfin's BFF Grant's her to join in on the Quest in a group that includes the rulers or heirs of rulers from all the 4 Free Peoples.

Ooh. Elrond is SUSPICIOUS.
I pity percy's kids.
I'm kinda hoping it's before smaug takes over Erebor, so she can see it happen.

i hope her appearance changes back but its an interesting direction i look forward to ur direction u take this in.

So, for some weird reason none of my 3 reviews were posted. As such, I’ll sum them up:
- You have a tendency to switch between first and third person. This can be an okay thing, but only when the transition is smooth and clear, something yours have not been. I would recommend choosing and POV and sticking with it. This would help the flow of the story tremendously.
- It would be greatly appreciated if, in your summary or in the pairing, you make it known that this story is fem!slash. When I started reading this story, I was under the assumption it was a normal, het pairing. I was proven wrong. While I have nothing against slash or fem!slash, this is something that needs to be made clear for the readers/potential readers because it may influence whether or not they wish to read the story. Had I known this story was fem!slash when I first started reading it, I wouldn’t have been as disappointed as I was when I discovered that it was. While I understand the desire to keep a pairing secret, a warning would not be remiss.
- There are some small spelling and grammatical errors here and there, but nothing too major.

Overall, the story is fairly well-done thus far and rather enjoyable. I hope you take this review and criticism into consideration for the future. Keep up the good work!

Alright, pretty much confirmed fem!slash. Please put that in the summary or change the story’s pairing to reflect such. While I’ve nothing against slash or fem!slash, it’s disappointing to like a story only to find out it goes against your tastes so completely. I know that I’m not the only reader of your story that feels this way, so I both beg and implore you to state such somewhere

Oh for the love of god don’t tell me this story is femslash...

You’re switching between first and third person too erratically, one paragraph you’re using third person and the next you’re in first using Persephone’s point of view. My advice is to pick one and stick to it, it gets really confusing otherwise.

Does being a Goddess put her above the Valar? I mean, Eru said that she was the same as him and he outranks the Valar. Does this mean that she's above them in Middle Earth's hierarchy? If yes, when do we get to see her publically addressing Fingolfin or someone else as 'My Lord' as she usually does only to be interrupted by Manwe calling her 'My Lady'? And the ensuing chaos?

... omfg i need alchoal to numb my brain after all this such subperb battle scenes and brilliant direction you have without the story becoming to lost and boring its a fantastic skill well done.

Changed my mind this is the best fight scene of godly proportions that i have read.