this is the best keeper going please

This shit is so good so you better not just stop because you don’t know what to write perseverance is key keep going and don’t give up

Your German is good... as a fellow German it is easy to read.

Great story

I will only say, as my last comment, aren't you worried that this story is going off into too many directions and that now you are going outside the scope of your summary. I have seen it too many times here that part way through a story the author starts changing things and eventually it gets so out of hand that the story gets stopped, never to be finished. Did you have your original story planned out from start to finish, or have you been adlibing it as you went along?

If Being X is supposed to be a good guy, then it's gone off the rail, serious OOC, he's a pick at least and a narcissist and egomaniacAL S.O.B.

I am sorry, but I don't understand where you are going with this story. No army in their right mind has a psychotic patient and let's said patient walk out the door with a psychological evaluation and she just tells a superior officer not to worry about anything. And no one bothers to write down what she says during her nightmares about murdering so a major walks in and says your getting a medal for over 120 kills, more with unconfirmed kills. Now it's getting silly. They don't let psych patients get dressed and go for a walk right after having nightmares and psychotic events, not even in the 1920-1930's. I think you need to slow down and give yourself more time to think about your storyline, because I think rushing your chapters is hurting an otherwise great story idea. Granted, I'm not a professional writer, but I have been reading stories for over 50 years and I just think you need to slow down and think over the paragraphs you draft. People will wait, it's not a contest.

Who was she supposed to have murdered? Early you said a man, but what man? Her soldiers probably killed more people than she did. And even back in the 1940'same the U. S. Military and other militaries I've heard sedated solders coming back with PTSD cause they didn't know about it or the best way to treat soldiers suffering. But remember she remembers everything now, so that means she remembers Being X, her former life in Japan (and remembers enough not to say anything here about former lives cause she knows they would throw her in the looney bin. This seems to be a case of her coma triggering nightmares, which happens frequently, and she is freaking over the dead bodies, though remember, she is an aerial mage so most of the dead enemies she sees are not usually very close to her. Just a usual PTSD case.

If Tanya says you here... you both here...anymore times it will be insanely too many. I defiantly feel you need longer chapters or readers will get upset that they just start to get something xand the rug gets pulled out from underneath them. I think your words are fine, except for some that are extremely over repeated, so I think you can do fine with longer chapters.

I wonder why she would have that kind of dream as she never murdered anyone or hurt anyone in Japan or the Empire. If she just saw the dead enemies, that would just be PTSD which can be had by any soldier. The only think (besides the fact that her dreams don't make sense) I would say as a critique is that with small chapters you can run into problems like for me there seem to be too many similar chapters once Tanya gets into the hospital. Maybe take chapters 2-6 and squish them down to 2 or 3 chapters. I don't think you need to worry about scary or too dark, as none of the chapters so far are dark and none really scary, so I think you are okay there. Thanks and now I read on.

Good chapter again would like more development on tanya but i also like the side plots hour putting in so keep doin what your doin

Aaahhh shit. It’s the pedobear

OOO signs of more PTSD nice. Good ch keep up the good work

Your story has been absolutely amazing and has quickly grown to be among my top 5 favorite stories i have read in almost a decade and i gotta thank you for that. You are a great writer and if you think that it would be best to change the story a little then go ahead. It is called FANfiction for a reason and you should do whatever you feel is necessary. But i will say this, if you do decide to change the story then i would STRONGLY suggest it is not a massive change because i have noticed a pattern that original stories like that almost always get away from the author’s intent because you basically have to write a whole new story instead of a different perspective. Meh i will read either way

Do what you think is right, but if you change things, make sure you explain why they are different, and try to keep it from being very convoluted.