The story is a bit of a raw diamond. There were tense changes and stuff, but the idea itself was good and I hope you will write many more stories!

Lol. If you give someone your word, you should be sure enough about it to use a dot. Otherwise it is not really believeable.

Bonding time, yeah :-)

Still the questionmark overdose, but otherwise good chapter. :-)

Great chapter!

Hm...this is interesting. Though there are way more questionmarks than necessary and once you wrote "a newbie" instead of "newbie". Also, "Newbie" should be written with the first letter being a capital letter since it is meant as a name and names start with a capital letter.

Hope you continue it. It is something new and I really want to know how it will continue :-)

Wow- this was intense!

It’s a very good story, I hope, you’ll continue! :)