This story is very good

Please continue this is a masterpiece something that I was waiting to read!

About the Mutsuki situation, theirs isn't clear cut like most people who identify as trans. Mutsuki uses masculine pronouns and suffixes, but also noted great joy that Kaneki acknowledged them as a woman and an equal. Mutsuki lives as a man true, but it's murky.

As for the story, its fantastic.

this isn’t bad, but you’ve got a couple of common issues that you could work on.

The first is a tendency to tell rather than show. Not sure how many times you’ve mentioned that Harry’s older brother is a huge deal but it’s been repeated often enough that its unnecessarily repetitive. That’s the biggest example from here, but yeah. It pops up a lot in this fic so far. Generally this isn’t a horrible thing, but it’s kind of boring and throws of reader immersion. Plus working those details into conversations or worse basing conversations around those facts makes the dialogue feel a bit wooden or stiff.

The second is that the dialogue and internal monologues do not quite feel natural. For example Harry is 16 with his girlfriend pressed into his side hinting at sex and we get that whole scene interrupted with a lecture on the risks involved with her getting pregnant that then transitions into the risks of what might happen to her if people figure out her real identity. We might no know this as readers but Harry does and isn’t likely to go through that whole chain of thought in detail. More like just acknowledge the issues then act accordingly. It’s throws off the scene and feels out of place. A more natural transition would be something like...

‘Though tempted Harry didn’t feel up to confronting the risks involved with pushing their relationship a step farther just yet. So after an appreciative squeeze to her backside he guided his hands farther up her back to message her (insert name for special ghoul organs here), causing her to moan in relaxed bliss.’

Or something like that. It lets the scene flow better. I know it doesn’t fill in all those background details but honestly most of that boils down to human ghoul babies come with lots of potential complications and neither is up to dealing with that yet.

*shrugs* hope this comes across as intended as constructive criticism and not as me being a dick. Best of luck!

Rant, meet Constructive Criticism;-

I don't get why people often portray Dumbledore as a naive idealist in fanfiction. Having lived through not only World Wars, heading Magical Wars against two prominent Dark Lords and coming from a family that has been broken up by both magical and non-magical side; a man like Dumbledore would not be able to stand where he is without understanding sacrifices and hard choices.

I think the only reason Dumbledore is obsessed with redenption is because if someone who has the same stain on their hands like him can be redeemed then surely he too has been redeemed for what happened with Ariana?

Wisdom does not mean disregarding darkness for the light. So far every Dumbledore I read in fanfiction, including this one unfortunately, portrayed Dumbledore as that sort. For all his talk of redemption and second chances, I am pretty sure Dumbledore is someone who can tell when one is a lost cause. Case in point; Tom Marvolo Riddle.

Tom is a psychopath and there is no redeeming a psychopath after they crossed the line. Why else would Dumbledore be so stiff around Tom as he grew up? And no, Tom is not an abused case gone wild. All evidence in his childhood point to a healthy psychopath complete with trophies for each memorable crime. It is an abusive house, but Tom IS NOT the victim. Everyone else is.

Dumbledore make mistakes, and this mistakes point to him being human. And because people expect him to be an omniscient paragon, his mistakes is even more glaring than others. My point is, I doubt he's a man that will disagree when execution is the only choice. One does not become a war general without making order of executions. In fact, this coincide with the Killing Curse or the Forbidden Curses vs normal combat magic.

Magic come from intent, the purer the intent the stronger the magic. The Forbidden Curses are forbidden not because of the effect of the curses but the intent that define the witch or wizard that use the curse. Take the Imperius for example. One could just as easily use hypnotism for the same effect. But Imperius intent is tyrannical or manipulative and the easiest to perform because everyone wanted to dominate or control others, especially to get them to do what the caster wanted. The victim acted like they are escaping pain after prolonged torture as if brainwashed.

What effect does this have on the other curses? Crucio or torture. The intent is strongest and most potent when the caster is a sadomasochist, and barely worked when cast in anger. Wanting to hurt others for sheer enjoyment of their pain and misery is the intent behind this curse. So the Killing Curse is simpler and harder to use.

Because to use the Killing Curse is to wish for their victim's death. Read back on the books, without this clear desire for murder then the Killing Curse will fail spectacularly. There is no mercy killing using this curse, or controlled version of the curse, or even accidental murder like slip of the finger on the trigger kind of crime. No. Pure and simple, you want your target dead and you have no hesitation or second guessing in wanting them dead.

Thus, my conclusion is, canon-wise the Dumbledore in Queen Rowling's vision is a wise but strong leader who tries to be fair and just during peace time but is willing to order death when war come knocking, like what he made Snape do for the sake of stopping Voldemort. And the Forbidden Curses are a psychopath package that not only condition the caster mind into the mind of a murderer, but also corrupted them the more often they are used. Hence why witches and wizards like the Weasley and the Aurors refrain from using them.

*nods* Agreed.

By the way, I don't mind having some events happening a chapter or three earlier than you had originally planned for them to be posted, Q. It makes the story more fun to read, and we get to "see" certain events that _may_ help us _attempt_ to figure out what may happen next.

Speaking of which...

*ahem*

1) Practically all of magical UK is going to be f'ed up something terrible. Well. More than they already were before this situation became FUBAR.
2) Fudge is gonna die a horrible, slow, and painful death.
3) Ken may actually receive a better home than he already has. *shrugs* Just a guess.
4) Harry, Eto, and his bro are gonna kick all sorts of arse _AND_ get rid of the thorn in their side in the CCG.
5) Harry and Eto may adopt Ken, if he hasn't found a better home life before then. :)

Nev always reminded me of Bilbo Baggins from the Hobbit, someone who had great courage but would prefer gardening and drinking tea. I hope he does bloom in this, he deserves it.

I want to marry Amber. I clapped a good many times during that talk. The woman seems legendary in her bluntness and I love that. Best line I've ever read in a Harry Potter fic was 'The only thing great about them is the great amount of inbreeding they underwent!' God, I loved that line.

Please continue.

:D

Fudge and the others have troubles...
MANY TROUBLES.

Oh boy...

(Insert Get Ready To Die song )

He thinks he can rape and kill Eto ?

(Insert maniac laugther )

The plot intensifies !