Very impressive I hope you write more chapters in the future!

Can't wait for the next chapter! How is this going to work? Cinder getting free from Salem and the grimm parasite will be challenging.

Poor Ruby. I do like Mercury being a smartass, and I think Emerald and Ruby are both right. They don't have the time to help everyone on the way to Haven and still stop/rescue Cinder, but they shouldn't ignore a problem they can solve reasonably quickly if it's right in front of them.

Yay welcome back, can't wait to find out what happens next! Please update soon!

God Nicholas just never wants people to love him does he?

Though I went into this fandom blind, I caught on pretty quickly and found myself quite invested in the fates of these characters. This was a solid introduction to your story, and I would say your strongest point is dialogue. The conversations between the characters reflect that you have a strong grasp on their personalities, and it seems like every discussion is important to foreshadowing and moving the plot forward. In contrast, though, I think you could work on descriptions and exposition more. For instance, I found your writing much more engaging after the four months transition primarily because the readers were given a better understanding of the inner workings of the character and background information. I would also be careful with transitions. The switch between the Emerald and Black scene was a little jarring, in comparison to the cleaner one from Black to Cinder.

Overall, you kept the audience in suspense and set the tone for your story. I really liked the high alert feeling that was consistent throughout this chapter, as well as the ending. Here are some specific lines I pulled out:

[… the chains of the handcuffs that tied the young woman rattled]: the verb tense of “rattled” doesn’t quite work with the rest of the sentence, I would suggest changing it to “rattling” or making this its own sentence

[… that occupied one wall, she knew there was probably some guards…]: replace the comma with a semi-colon, and “was” should be “were”

[… anyone in the Hunter circles would, it was Glynda Goodwitch…]: replace the comma with a colon

[Taking several long moments to observe the younger woman as well as open the file]: this is a sentence fragment; I would suggest “She took several long moments…” or combining it with what came before

[“So? If I had to choose prison or working for you… Well… I think I can pull orange off”]: I laughed at this, great comeback

Brilliant chapter! Can't wait for the next.

Jaune supposedly gave his word to Cinder, Merc, and Em that they were under duress while working for Salem. That's fine.

My only hope is that he never forgives them and that he only does this for Ruby. Not for the trio, not for some sake of heroism, but for Ruby. And I sincerely hope he will always hold a level of disdain for the three of them, because that is the LEAST they deserve when it comes to JNR, let alone Jaune.

Okay, wow, damn that was a good premise. But kudos for pulling it off! I'm hooked now.I do so enjoy Redemption fics especially when the characters stay mostly true to their personalities. Never thought of them being controlled...

Loved it!

Interesting premise.

Will need to see where you end up taking this though.

I do wonder how they got Jaune on board though.

An interesting idea, I look forward on how you develop the plot further.

Yay this is finally up! I really loved reading this! Great first chapter. Huge plot twist if Cinder starts working for the good side now. What will happen, how did the three end up arrested? Did they manage to find Ruby? What is everyone's feelings towards Cinder considering it was not really her that killed Pyrrah? What does Salem think and what will she do? I love Cinder, Emerald and Mercury together and the loyalty they have for each other! Please update soon!