More plz

I was so excited to see this updated keep up the gr great work.

Naruto's should be way higher than Gaara's, one jinjuriki has the 1st tailed beast with the weakest of the all while Naruto has the strongest one, and secondly Naruto is an Uzumaki which increases his chakra reserves even more.

ryou not byou starting to get irritating

Thanks for the chapter it was interesting to say the least my question is will Mayonaka develop a unique sharing an if itachi where to give her his eyes

cool

Oh, I think I know where's the problem...
I think, you're really bad at keeping the characters saying too much. Like, how can Itachi talk about something so dangerous to a stranger no less, it's strange. In general your character's talking too much, and some things that they said shouldn't really been said. As example, is there really a need for Koharu to provoke many people like that? Didn't she already learned that talking too much about a stranger's not a good thing from her youth? Itachi said that she was talkative as a kid when she suddenly became quiet. There gotta be a trauma left from her talking too much when she was still a kid, especially amplified with Danzo tried to shut her up.

And how insensitive they're, how can Itachi just talk about Koharu murdered father just like talking about a weather when it's not even a year right? to a stranger too, realistically he would only say something ambiguous like, "Hn..", "Not your business", "It's confidential", or a blank stare to sent the message, because not only it's a wrong thing to do(Insensitive), it's too because Itachi's a ninja, someone who's supposed to be good at keeping any information strictly to themselves. And shouldn't he be paranoid about every bit information that he gave out? The Warhawk pawns are everywhere(for him).

And how can Koharu not feeling afraid? in a sense her way of talking and how she just spurred everything she talked without stuttering or a feeling of wrongness(no one like her to talk right?), especially because how young she's, her mind would be like Naruto, a mess. But your setting and how she act doesn't make sense.

You really need to think over the logic behind on how your character talk, and when it's okay to talk, if you really want to explain things to us, explain it through 3rd point of view or let the character have a monologues. Or to make things clear so it won't mislead us, just narrate it by author POV.

You made a really big mistake by glossing over the build up to where Itachi saving Koharu. You can't just gave us a flashback to made things clear y'know. Because of it, right now i can only see this story as "Itachi saving a kid from Danzo and keep her" not "Koharu saved by Itachi from Danzo and now she need to be with him". An OC story can't strive if the OC can't become interesting or solid as a character, and right now i can't see it at all.

This, got me thinking that her personality didn't match with what you described. The way she talk, her tone, and how she always explaining things when talking in such a detailed way didn't match with the outcast silent child that's in pain setting, especially with her power i expecting her to bottled up her opinion and talk in her mind more. There's not enough exposure on her for me to understand her core persona that can be done easily in early chapter, as almost every OC story start from childhood arc that focused more on her way of thinking and interacting Inside of her home. And then the way her environment shape her personality outside of her home. A dead body is still a dead body even if you know their name, as long as you don't know them well, you won't be able to feel an empathy strong enough to relate to them like their friends or families. And you can't really force it.

Of course you can supply it by keeping in check her character and keeping the story going on. And maybe after some chapters down the road I'll change my mind about it. But for now, I can only lament about it, because a childhood arc is a really big chunk that full of potential in term of showing off what makes your OC unique and different from others OC, or what makes it solid as a character. it's a shame, really. Sorry if there's some butchered grammar, I'm not that good at English.

I absolutely love the interaction between sasuke and her
Can't wait for more updates on this amazing story

This is a very nice story, keep on writing!

I love the way you describe things, and your descriptions

What was the name of the novel that was not published?

Wow! First off, this story is definitely different, in a great way! When Koharu says Zetsu is “the most dangerous of all” I got chills. Nice job and keep up the good work. This got ya a new reader and follower.

muito legal