This is really good! It's nice that you've included some Welsh, it just gives it that extra touch.

So some general critiques that I could bestow upon you are 1.) learning when you should use the comma. Fine example:
As Sam turned to go back up to the crew room Penny called him back.
It should have been
As Sam turned to go back up to the crew room, Penny called him back.
You also should have put 's at the end of Crew Room to make it Crew's Room which is the correct way of saying it.
Also, another common problem I see with other writers is the overuse of the word, And. and/or is as official as English gets in the sense that you can use it in extremely formal contexts. There is typically a better way to say whatever is being said but it does convey a specific meaning.

You should use and/or when both options are applicable in its place. "I would like cake and/or pie" means "I would like one or both of the following: cake; pie."

The main reason for using and/or is to remove the ambiguity of whether and means "only both" and whether or means "only one." And/or explicitly means "it could be one of these or both of these."

I hope this helps!

Nett Idee für eine Sam FF.