I loved this! Your rewrite sounded much more plausible than the one showed in the movie. How you wrote it, it makes sense why outwardly she showed no reaction- people who are in shock can look frozen, or like they have no reaction. Somehow, the last sentence chills me. You should write a sequel of this. How does she manage to forgive him of the mistakes he made? I know they love her, but some of his errors were doozies, like trying to kill her when she was a swan. Then not recognizing her at the ball and almost killing her there.

He's not the smartest of princes. I do sense he loves her, but he doesn't always know how to show it. I like how at the end, despite his huge mistake, they still seem to have an intense emotional connection and understanding, though she doesn't seem sure she has forgiven him yet, based off the last sentence.

i'm hoping you will write a sequel of this, like a rewrite of the ball scene?