Well you had an okay story going, then you just HAD to put a fucking weeping emotional Harry in. Not to mention sharing a story that none of the kids that group had a right to know, but you've already made the dynamics where the girls have no respect or care for the boys. I'm done with this shit

wait I thought he was disguised when did he get undisguised

Amazing! Fantabulous! I am more than excited for the next chapter!

I have loved this story so far! I will admit, however, that I started it with a very “meh” viewpoint. However, as it has gone on—the ideas you present are magnificent! I love the new and improved quidditch, especially the new Hogwarts league! Not only that, but so far I have seen no recycled ideas from other fics (which is quite rare)! So, again, this has exceeded any and all expectations I had! I love this story so much, and I hope you know that so many people appreciate your work! ️

Only the gryffindor and noble harry shows compation not a dark and Slytherin harry so what's the fucking different if this harry potter is the same fucking harry potter from gryffindor, can't believe that u actually made that annoy granger his friend and this is my last rant and frustration and I will never bother reading this stupid ff , the fact that you showed harry a bit more powerful is bothering u lol ofcourse why show him powerful and dark he is meant to be weak , helping and gryffindor well this is my last review it before that I must say I am highly disappointee in this ff it is nothing that I have not read before it is same fucking boring ff good bye

Is harry really a Slytherin? Is he really dark? Why the fuck he helps granger and what he will get if she does better in class or not this is not Slytherin quality and this is definitely not dark harry this is the same fucking noble harry and I don't why the hell.y wrote dark harry in the intro u would have never bothered to read this ff it is same as those ff u have read the pain in the ass granger being friend and Ginny being friend only longbottom and lovegood left to complete ruin this ff for me can u get any more original? Damn sorry to even bother reading this ff , not gonna read again as it is nothing that I have read previously sane fucking being friends with granger , Ginny helping longbottom making him confident and saving lovegood from bully , what is there to even read ? Nothing it looked promising from the start but u like many did the same thing harry fucking potter is dark just in introduction but in reality helping the annoying granger because for what ? He is Slytherin for God's sake yet u show him more like someone who always show off

Hope the pairing is not Harry and Ginny is if it is then plz tell me I will not bother reading I hope it is harry and daphne and plz for once don't let harry associate with these weasels , granger longbottom or lovegood fucking tired of their so called friendship and harry helping them and I hope you just actually make harry dark not just that he will be dark and till now I have not seen a glimpse of that

Harry helping Ginny and behaving as if she was his best friend was really silly , why the hell he will help her to practice spell ? It looks bloody show off and I really hope u don't that granger , weasly , love good and longbottom with him because it is annoying to read such stories and I find no difference with it than those stories which is highly disappointing especially his show off character and his fucking noble nature

I don't like the idea that his parents didn't know he is dead so all the suffering and the pain he went through he just forgot that and forgive them ? Then what's the point of all this ? Even if dumbledor has did something them or anything might be the suspended his parents are to be blamed as much because they could not do their duty and I really hope that harry doesn't forgive them and takes revenge otherwise no point of reading the story and what harry does if in the end he forgives them ,

I am liking this story so far but u really hope that you will actually show harry powerful and dark and he should take his revenge on the light especially his family and dumbledor for abandoning him otherwise no point of going all the pain when in the end all you do is forgive them ( I am saying because a lot of ff where Harry's brother has been the boy who lived and no matter how badly harry was treated he forgives the family in the end which is really silly so I really hope you actually show how powerful and dark harry is capable of and show his true dark and ruthless side for those who have wronged him) looking forward to your next update

Great story! Keep writing! I'm enjoying it very much.

So far it’s a lot of telling without showing. You tell the reader about things they did or conversations they had, without actually showing the events or having the conversations on the page. Action is far more interesting even if it takes longer for you to write it out.

You also have a tendency for reporting of phrasing and you lump a lot of different, unrelated info in a short space.

Slow down, pick a scene, and let it happen on the page.

Expecting awesome updates!

I am really liking this!

Per your A/N, this is fanfiction. What JKR wrote was fantasy fiction, so why couldn't L Malfoy get away with the sneak? To each his own. So far I find myself preferring fan fiction. Harry fits in Slytherin, and it's a pleasure to have him be intelligent. A question, have James & Lily re-established a trust vault for Harry? Assuming the original was melded into Jason's? The reaction to Molly's howler was perfect. LOL. Great chapter, thanks.