Darker than I expected, but still an interesting read.

It could be better.

A painful cliffhanger, just when it starts to have something resembling a plot, the story is left abandoned.

Chose not - chose to

Having Dallons twins is another nonsensical change that serve no purpose .

A but silly to change the undersiders that much and to give them such pretentious names. Feels like a change for the sake of making changes rather than something that actually matters.

Please don’t let this one die, the concept is fascinating

I guess she has Labyrinth's shard or something?
Interesting, but you are sacrificing too much narrative clarity in an attempt to be 'artsy'.

typo
to thing - to think

Awww. Moar?

I can barely understand what's happening half the time but damn, do I love reading this!

Promising story, keep writing! Your style for the story is interesting if a tad confusing but definitely worth some expanding. Can't wait to see her meet Zion or Mark. Watched.

Wow, so Taylor is basically a mini Entity. Lol, I would really like to see more of the external views on her actions, and I wonder how Cauldron will react to what is basically a mini entity that can't feel anything at all.

The interlude was too short to satisfy me
I don't care about Taylor's clarity, but where is MY clarity?
also there are a few minor spelling mistakes here and there so it might be a good idea to try and get a beta
Apart from that it looks pretty good.

What is going on?