hey man, can u tell us when is the next time u plan to update pls

Man, there's a way to introduce your fic/tone as dark without just making it outirght cringy to read. I have a feeling a large portion of viewers are just going to immediately quit after reading chapter one. If anything, it feels rushed.

Most good darker-toned stories I see usually don't start out with everything that could go wrong going wrong in the first chapter. For a mjority of the people reading it, they'd just instantly get turned off the story, or even just outright hate it. For me, you glossed over a lot of stuff that would just outright break a person to push forward the plot. It felt like you didn't start in the story where you wanted to just to get a basic premise across, leaving things feeling sparse.

It feels like this story is own the cusp of making me think, "Oh, that's cool!" but instead it drops down into, "Why?" and "That's just not necessary..."

Yes. Suffer as you deserve, Raven.

Hey man, keep up the good work, your rocking it, like seriously I just keep on loving the stroy line more and more.

This is an amazing story, can't wait for the next chapter!

Good God was that ending glorious

Nice portrayal of the sheer difficulty of fighting against multiple opponents at the same time.

And so raven joins cannon yang in the one hand clap army but sadly she lacks the connections to get good stuff ya know anything above the stuff we have commonly available now. Also I wonder how is this new glaring weakness going to do for her tribes the weak die string survive shtick.!

A fight with a well deserved ass kicking (in this case, shoulder ripping). I am a little curious, because Yang and Weiss got paired up with Cardin and Russel. Does this mean that team RNBP (Ren, Nora, Blake, Pyrrah) is a thing? Very curious about who they are teamed up with. Wonder if we will have to wait until the Vytal Festival to learn who is on Pyrrah's team because Cinder is still planning on using Pyrrah.

I don't get it, if you want your story to be popular then just don't put stuff that blows so many triggers in people, I mean... child prostitution? it is not really needed in here, just change that for other trauma-inducing thing and your reader would be a lot more receptive

Love the story so far. And boy, am I glad Raven just got taken down a peg or two, smug asshole must feel pretty dumb now. Also, I'm she'll have a grudge against Jaune for this but wouldn't that be hypocritical? I mean by the rule of survival of the strong, her rule, Jaune, or Carnifex, was stronger than her and so she shouldn't seek revenge against him as he was well within his "rights", as the strong, to kill or maim her?
Is it just me, or Raven's entire ideology is seriously bullshit when one thinks about it?

Awesome update man, loved how Raven is probably most likely dead.

Anyway, recently I re-read through all 26 chapters and after thinking about how you've been portraying Ozpin and how the rest of JNPR isn't in this story, I'm guessing that Ozpin will somehow bribe/coerce Yang into becoming the new half fall maiden with how things are taking a turn in the story.
Just leaving my guess here.

Anyway, thanks for the update, keep up the good work, and hope you update soon.

That was very well executed! Loved the ending too, always love to see Grimm Jaune being the most powerful, able to stop even raven. Cant wait for the next one!

-ATNF

Interesting development.

Awesome chapter