Gigantic cultural and theological holes because they didn't talk about god enough? Eh. Good story though

I like the insight to the Williams household. Just the right pressure of touching without being verbose. And a very interesting (and good) outside viewpoint of working with a biotic; I don't think anyone's really put it out like you did, how that might feel like working next to someone with telekinetic powers like that.

Huh. I knew who Sergeant Donkey was when you first mentioned the name (never actually read any of the Foundation Series, but I do research) but you're the first to mention that rather obviously glaring continuity error; there is no rank of 'Sergeant' in the Systems Alliance Military. Good catch, and really... quite confusing.

Couldn't have BioWare looked up the common rank structure of their own nation's military (Canada) and just emulated that? Instead, we get a confusing mish-mash of rank where Kaidan (who mentions is a Sailor) somehow ends up with an Army/Marine rank of Major while Ashley (who mentions is a Marine) has Sailor-like rank with 'Gunnery Chief' (which I don't think that's a rank for anybody at all?) and Lieutenant Commander (definitely Navy, not Marine).

The only other Non-Com Enlisted Man I can think of in the whole series is that Master Chief on the Citadel dressing down the Privates; you know, the "Newton is the deadliest son-of-a-bitch in the galaxy" guy?

For my stories, I generally correct this flaw, making either Williams have an appropriate rank (Staff Sergeant or Gunnery Sergeant, which neither exist in the Canadian military. Their ranks are... a little silly IMHO but then again I'm just nationally biased :) ) or have her in a position in which Gunnery Chief is the title (like, say, a Battery Commander in the Artillery is known as 'Smoke' as a nickname, and also a Gunnery Chief, though this is positional/nickname). Technically, Ash could be of any Marine designation, not necessarily a 0300-series Marine (USMC Infantry Code, btw). She could be a mortar team leader (also known as a Gunnery Chief), a recon specialist (which would justify the experience with a sniper rifle. The Army certainly doesn't just hand out M24/M40 sniper rifles to anyone, not even NCO's, you need schooling and training), or perhaps even a forward observer (a FISTer is an Artillery Man who is a target designator out in the field, painting/calling targets for the big guns. Technically, a Forward Observer and a Cavalry Scout (my MOS) had about the same job description save we had numbers and we couldn't call in air assets (ie air strikes with planes and helicopters)).

And... I haven't even mentioned your story yet!

Yes, in combat those thoughts do come, though not normally in such depth. Usually it's "OH GOD OH FUCK SHITSHITSHIT MOAR AMMO NOW!" and "Thank God it's over!" The saying 'no atheists in a foxhole' is utterly not true; it goes one end or the other, but no middle ground. Either you think 'yep, gonna die, God forgive me' or 'go fuck yourself big guy for not draping a force field on my ass'. Not much time for philosophy or theological debates when lead is flying.

I like that you touch Foundation with the Eden Prime mission, and the part where the unit might get awarded but Williams might be seen as running away (I admit that got me to chuckle a little). Otherwise this was a good solid chapter that sparks a few good curiosities.

finally getting to read this and really enjoying it so far. Looking forward to seeing where yuo thake these characters.

MORE PLEASE!

I really like the description of the three of them working together as a unit. In my ME1 games, Ash was always the one Kaidan and Shepard hid behind during combat before Virmire lmao. Also loved the bit with her family - it always struck me that Ashley's family is incredibly important to her, even if there's some things there that she might not always get along with them over.

Not really got much to say but I enjoyed that. You've got a really good writing style and looking forward to more.

I'm really enjoying the mix of Ashley's religion and her very down to earth Marine practicality, as well as her thoughts about the rest of her squad (poor bastards). I loved the scene with Ashley and her father.

Her compassion for Bates is an interesting note. Not all soldiers or Marines would be so forgiving, but it does feel in character here. She has a lot more empathy than people give her credit for. It makes me sad she never knows what really happened to him in canon, though that could be addressed in fic, of course.

The mention of her not wanting to know Kaidan's name in case he dies and 'please god, no more dead Marines' was a punch to the gut, well done.

This is an interesting topic and the way you write description is very compelling. I look forwards to seeing where this goes

Excited to see where this goes, it's a great part of Ashley's character that was sort of forgotten in ME3.

The description in this chapter was really great. Femshepley always excites me, especially whe nthere's worldbuilding involved. Ashley's religion is som,ething I have to remind myself to include in my writing as an athetist; I'm interested to see where you go with it.

Interesting premise, I think they stayed away from getting into the whole religion thing in the name of not wanting to turn off potential consumers. The way she makes references to just God leads me to believe that she would most likely be Protestant and not Catholic as the Church is central to Catholic dogma and Protestants are more varied in their secondary beliefs.
As to religion in a science fiction setting, her belief could be explained that the Christian Bible is a religious text and designed for the specific relationship of mankind to God, and this does not exclude revelation to another species in a different fashion. Besides, even today eight in ten people claim a religious identity with one third of them being Christian according to Pew so having religious adherents in the future is not a stretch.
I like how you make the Ashley's faith not a throw away thing but at the same time not overbearing and preachy either, just a part of her character and thought process. Will be an interesting read.

Good writing style, look forward to seeing where it goes. If I remember right the salarian's believed in a 'wheel of life' reincarnation type system.