GRAMOR! Unless you want to fail English you might want to learn it. But it does have a lot of potential and a good plot

Doesn't have very good gramor and could use a lot of work. However it has a good plot and has potential

Now enter chaos, and he shall smote gaea

What is everybody's obsession with Artemis?

I LOVED IT , please do more your really good!

You have a great idea yes, but there are things wrong such as the first sentence. It was good at first but then you lost me. there are a few s

Grammar dude, learn it. Your sentences are horrifying but the story is interesting. Better grammar and sentence fluency and it'll be a really good story

You need to work on your grammar and your sentences so that they are more coherent. Otherwise, it is an interesting plot

I'm not a huge fan of the whole Artemis betrays him twice even though they were friends since childhood, but your story has an interesting concept so I'll stick around to see where you go from here.

it's good keep it up