An interesting idea

I know inam late to this but I really liked the story. Would have liked a little more description of Dresden vs Lucius and their duel but overall, nice. I noticed the chapters got shorter near the end.

I think a few extra paragraphs to pad context out might help.

Nice! But I hope there’s more and sev finds happiness

Thanks for writing this for us!love the quick action and creativity.

Yay! Nice standing up for her!

I like your characterisation and side plot.

Perfect first chapter. Not too much detail, not too little. Attagirl!

No. Mr. Malfoy's a$$ is grass.

Her father's... uncle? I'm, rather confused. Who is Harry Dresden's uncle? I know his grandfather and his half brother, but don't remember there being an uncle ever mentioned.

I have to say you have a good consept here, but you need to do more details and expand.
Check how things are written in both harry potter and dresden files. They both expand the sentence and whole segments. That way the text becomes more fluid.

Further than that, lets take a look at chapter 1, diagonal alley. In the books harry uses several pages, things flow naturaly from one place to the other before ending in the express. You on the other hand are done in half a chapter.

Your story have good potential, but so far, you seem to have only written the bare bones of a story.

Now that i am done talking about the writing lets take a look on some inconsistensies i noticed in your story, that does not match up with the parrent works.

1) Ron should not have lost half his power on the express when entering the cabbin with potter and dresden, that is a public space and wont have a treshold, that is something that grows up around homes with families making stronger ones, dressdens appartment barely have a treshold and is one of the many reasons she lives with the carpenters instead.

2) Harry Dressden does not do hats, he have stated in the books he never will use a hat, and its only in the cover art there is hats on his head.

Keep writing, keep improving. You got this.

Uhg this story had so much promise to it and it's just another shitty bashing fic. I love the concept and hope others can enjoy this but the way you characterize Ron is just abhorrent.

Seems like a cool idea and an interesting story so far but there were a couple of things that I couldn't quite figure out. The first was who her fathers uncle was meant to be only thing I could think of was her uncle Thomas or her great grandfather McCoy. The second was dresden being immortal which is not part of the winter knight mantle. So either dresden got a more powerful mantle like odins or he performed the darkhallow in which case he would be at war with the white council not a warden of it.