I started reading this on ao3 I did it all in one night then I was so happy to find the rest here . I already commented there but I’ll do so here too . This is an amazing story , please continue it . It’s too good to be dropped here T_T

Hehehehe things are coming together...

This chapter had a fair amount of good humor in it, I laughed especially at the "A distraction!" moment. I can't wait to see what you do with the next section of the story, my favorite chapter of the game~!

I'm especially excited to see how you write the ending scene with Dimentio sending Mr. L to the Underwhere. :D

Thanks for writing!

I didn't expect Dimentio to reveal that so soon, but Luigi's reaction was written VERY WELL. He's been made to think that he's 'evil', but now he finds out he's destined to be on the other side.

You're doing a good job of showing the facets of a real relationship, and it's interesting to see how their feelings fluctuate.

Well done!

(I also do not enjoy sexual themes *sweatdrop* but I've still been enjoying this story :D)

Ooh clever title is clever!
Ah, I think you posted this first section on Discord. Still agree with Timpani!

That's nice that Blumiere misses his family but he's also the one who killed them, so lie in the hole you dug I guess.
I've always thought that Bleck was a little fond of Mr. L, but avoided him due to guilt.

Count Bleck Mimi: Innocent baby pure child
Mimi: Fuck
Count Bleck: NO D:

Oh it is time to dad! Dad Bleck Dad Bleck!
Ah I love Mimi with more spider-like qualities. Make her even scarier!
That was really sweet of him to help

You know, it's always bothered me that the game's dialogue is just like "oh he did an insubordination" and everyone's like "oh ok he ded" and then it says the same thing about Mimi and no one assumes she'd dead. I guess because they saw her beforehand but *waves hands vaguely*. Kind of wish we could have had more behind the scenes things exploring all their relationships with each other, cause they sure are an interesting bunch of people.

""I'll have plenty o' time te talk with her in teh New World, right?"" *Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays*
Mmm yes, this is why he was so mad at Dimentio. Someone's protective of their green daughter
""If the Count knows Dimentio like he thinks he does, then he will not write a single word."" *Curb Your Enthusiasm theme plays* He's SORT of right; Dimentio himself didn't write anything, after all.

"found out somehow" Bleck still hasn't realized Dimentio reads everyone's journals sdfkjhg
This kind of went over my head before, but I guess Dimentio thanks the DP cause it's standing in between him and homelessness. Also him calling Mr. L his soulmate is *ok hand*
tfw Count Bleck also says "humble servant"

I'd congratulate the Count on his self control but he still destroyed something even if it wasn't Dimentio's face.
Oh ho, cousin! I could have probably put that together earlier but I'm not very observant
Found family best family!

Wow I have finally reread my way here, just in time to see Dimentio eat a big ol' helping of regretti spaghetti. I have zero memory of what the old chapter 15 was like lol here we go!
Oh he upsetti

Wait what? Mimi had a crush on Mr. L too? Gee can't anyone just be platonic friends
Oh shit, the stairs
Everyone's upset, but funnily enough, Dimentio's the only one who can't hide it. Instead it's stab-everyone-with-words o'clock.
God I would have died trying to do 100 laps, how did he manage

Oh 2000 words that's not so- WAIT THAT'S PAGES NOT WORDS. Time to break out the 72 point font, one letter per page.
Oh nooo I don't like that the clones are sentient. A bit of a Spinel vibe, but quite literally an echo chamber.
Wow, this essay is gonna make zero sense, but Nastasia's face when he hands it in tho

*nods sagely* such is the power of Luigi
sdkfjhg it's weird that the clones don't just automatically know what's going on! Dimentio and his 1000 kids, there are so many philosophical and moral questions with this

*internal screaming* Nothing like trying to force someone to be who you want them to be! Don't listen to yourself, you're a dumbass who doesn't understand emotions and needs a hug.
Man if you weren't following the events of the game, I would be suspicious of that one clone. Unless... *thinking emoji*

*sniffs* holding hands under the table that's so cute ;-;
*squints* Yeah I doubt that essay is well written at ALL considering it's by 1000 people but go off I guess
I agree with Dimentio here, you can't just tell someone to get over it Count :(

Holy shit, good thing he already turned it in or else that would have been really bad, i would be so pissed if someone did that to me
That's really interesting that the Count is aware that Dimentio is gonna do some shit. He really just doesn't care about anything anymore...
I don't like what he said to the book, like no bitch, go and be free and frolic with your boyfriend, humble servant who?

Take care of yourself.

I hope you're doing okay during the pandemic. Dimentio is going through a lot of emotions and turmoil since The Green Thunder is "Gone".

"Brainwashing burns out the very strongest of them" So sad. ;w;

Very well done! I hope to read more of this. Mr. L is one of the most tragic non-villains in the game, and this is an awesome take on him.

Thank you for writing!

I hope you're doing okay. Also reunion between the Bros.

Keep doing the same thing!

Great fic, I was enjoying it, but if you feel a rewrite is in order, do what you gotta do!
Was intrigued by this idea of competing families of Luigi’s competing identities, and the LxD was a cool pairing.
Also appreciated your dictatorship research.
I float through this site from time to time, and enjoyed your writing!

If you're finding a lot of the parts cringe, but you still like some of the concepts, then it sounds like a rewrite is in order

If your hankering to rewrite it, the last chapter isnt too much of a cliffhanger that I think people would feel upset (you didnt stop in the middle of a scene or anything). I'd say that if your unsatisfied with it you should rewrite it and then finish off the last few chapters once your happy with the rest of the story. (Although I really like the story as is, too, so I think you can probably go either way and people would be happy. My advice is to just go with whatever option appeals more to you personally.)

He protect he attack but most importantly he supports the LGBT pack

I Love this! Can’t wait to see the next chapter