Omigosh... little Karst is so... dang... cuuuuuuute!
*re-reads chapter and dies from adorableness overload*

I'm pretty sure you're not around to read reviews anymore, but I shall nevertheless review. I want to talk about the one thing that struck me the most.
Your depiction of Alex is perfect.
His need for power, his still-lingering love for Mia, all of it is too perfect.
Your Alex is exactly like the in-game Alex, except with events to explain his development. Perfect.
The same can be said for all of the characters in this story.
If that was your goal, you more than met it.

I think it's been a few years since I've read this, but I still adore it. It makes me feel a lot of pity for Menardi and Sarutos. The ending is awesomely tragic.

That was a great book. I liked how realistic you made everyone. I couldn't put it down till it was done. I hope the third game is good, but I'm disappointed in the time skip it'll have.

Well, isn't that just sad. Simply incredible, I can't wait to start the sequel.

By the way, I don't remember a scene with them waiting for the thieves in Bilibin, where they supposed they would get the Shaman Rod. Did they skip it as result of what happened to Saturos at Mercury Lighthouse? Later on when Saturos and Menardi are lamenting the lack of a Jupiter adept, they don't even mention the rod or the thieves.

Saturos Badass

Nothing else needs to be said, Alex got owned!

Simply amazing, I love Saturos's rationale for pressing onward in seeing Isaac fight, although Saturos's and Menardi's slow corruption pains me. (

I also love the dark tone you've given the story as a whole, including the Tolbians.

Great, absolutely fantastic writing, it makes me want to reach into the story and strangle Alex, hehe.

I'm loving how in depth you're going with aspects in the story-the meeting with Hammet and arrangement with the thieves being one of the best examples.

Alex is also getting interesting, especially since his manipulative side is starting to show.

Awesome stuff, can't wait to read on! D

It just keeps getting better, can't wait for the main plot to get under way now that Alex is in.

Just starting, I loved the concept and I'm loving the work so far. Really good work with Saturos's and the rest of Prox's background.

Saturos and Menardi's relationship should be interesting going forward, and just how Agatio works. D

Saw a hint of flameshipping in the kids scene, but I'll cross my finger for valeshipping. P

ah, good for you.. for the laptop that is.

your story is . im pretty sure thats how you spell it. anyway, your grammar is very good, i like your writing style. it puts more feeling into your words. but one thing i dont like is how Felix is acting... or maybe its just that I was brought up in an environment where there wasnt much care towards me, i dont know which one it is, anyway i think felix is acting like a 9 year old, and they are treating him that way. otherwise, good story so far, even though it is already complete

Hey! I just didn't feel like logging in, that's why this is anonymous. _ Well, this just gets better and better. Man, if I ever get as good as you, my Jedi Master, I'll feel so proud of myself, and that's the truth. :) I couldn't get off this (I'm at school right now, _~ and I decided to finish reading Chatper 2 before working on my story); I SO love reading your story. I'm trying to improve mine, so if you want to read and see if it has gotten better, you can check Chapter 1. I'm gonna redo (well, mostly add stuff) Chapter 2, then Chapter 3, and post 4. I'm really hoping to get a lot of work done this summer! _ So, catch ya later?

Ya Padawan,

Spirit Seer

I loved this story, it's such a perfect and sympathetic representation of them. I'm leaving a review on this chapter instead of the last because I was amused by your comments about Othello. Alex is my favourite GS character, Iago is my favourite in Othello... it all begins to make sense. Or it could just be that Kenneth Branagh is... divine.

Regardless, I enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to more in the sequels, if and when you find the time to further write them.

I read your profile back in July (when Spirit Seer staffed the poetry C2), then read the prologue of Bloodlines (as it's shorter than the first chapter of TTOE1, and you say not to read GSLAN first), then became upset about having to go on a wonderful holiday that I'd been saving for for years - it was just so frustrating that I would have to wait so long to read your work.

And now, I've printed out three chapters of this one, and so far, it really is something special. It breathes more life into the Mars Clan, and makes better use of the four most heroic Proxinians (in terms of giving them distinct and varied backgrounds and personalities) than anything else I've read. (Though I have only read a handful of fics that cover Prox in much detail, the next best is also very good, so you needn't worry that that doesn't necessarily mean much.) I don't think I've ever seen hairstyles used as a custom like that - it really does seem fitting. And it would presumably mean that Karst was still a student when she left, and Agatio an Adept escort, from their official art. Agatio is remarkably likeable here, too. If he was still seeing Menardi (or was still close friends with her), then when he and Karst left, it could have been personal, and primarily for Menardi's sake, for both of them - for the one Puelle says 'prefers to be surrounded with life'. I very much like the way it's written...

The way Saturos changes across the two year gap is certainly enjoyable to read - the way he reacted to seeing Menardi in the room, and the way he was speaking beforehand... It'll be particularly interesting to see how his part unfolds. (To see a character written as someone you wouldn't have expected the character in the game to have been, and see in them the way they were in the game, is one of the most intriguing things about fanficion.) It seems like the Valeans will be well written too, from the little I've seen of them so far. An interesting reversal of which boy Jenna 'meant', a state of mind that promises change and conflict for Felix, and all the kids acting as the kids they were at that age (rather than brats or adults)... It does look promising. I'm looking forward to reading the rest. I just wanted to review now because, y'know, that'll take quite a while, and I'm sure authors like to know that people are reading, and what they're thinking, even partway through...

Oh, and a couple of questions. Why are those of Prox called Proxinians? (It does work about as well as the term Proxans, which I see far more often, but it's unusual, so I'm curious.) And what sort of competitions did you enter?