Cool story

Love ur book I hope that u keep going and don’t lessen to what others say I like it when u say when the seen change because it helps me to understand more

Hi
Your doing a good job with the story, however, it still needs alot of work. I recommended that you sort out the mistakes you made in the chapters you have up already.

To start off, you do not need to write (scene change) when your moving from scene to scene, this isn't a script. It's enough that you write.

Example:
Ezra and Sabine, walked around
The mall, going through shops, soon they find a cloths store.

Where Ezra bought Sabine cloths, a pair of plain jeans, and a multicolored shirt. Several minutes later, botg found thair way to a aquarium. Where Sabine's attention was wrapped in the multitude of seacreatures, Ezra told her what some of the fish where called, her favorite qiuckly becoming a tired looking sea turtle.

After several minutes in the aquarium, both found themselves hungry, and walked over to a large expansuve food cort. Where they choises veried from the standered, burgers and pizza, to medterian and Asian.

Settling for a simple pizza lunch both found themselves content with thsir company...

And this brings me to our second point. I know that you don't want to here this but you need to add alot more detail work, we do nit know what any of the characters look like, What is Ezra wearing, what is the enviroment like? You need to enclude this things or the readers won't able to fget fully oborbed into your work. I'm not asking for you to go all out abd pull off lord of the rings anount of discription work here, just enough to get a sence of presence.

This brings us to my finale pointer, there is more but this review is long enough as is.

The romance and between Ezra and Sebine moved waty to quickly and felt forced. Emotions take time to establish. And the two of them berly know each other.

Please go over your current chapters before you move. I'm trying to Bash you, or put you over a burning flame.
I only this review can help you improve, as that is what the point of a living a review is.
Arkilos

I'm enjoying this.

Cute. I hope Ezra's adoptive dad will be ok in the upcoming fight.

Good story.
I hope that the chapters can be a bit longer.

I'm enjoying this

love the story, just wish the chapters were longer. it kills me to wait for a day or so for a story to be updated, but I love it

Like the story so far

This is getting good:)

awesome chapter

I'm enjoying this.

So Thrawn wants to invade Earth? Uhhhh... Ol' Blue Boy might want to think twice about that plan. Humans might not have perfected the whole exo-atmospheric flight thing, but within our own atmosphere we can fly rings around anything the Empire could throw at us.

I mean, seriously... A TIE fighter has a top speed of, what? Maybe 900 miles per hour? And even that's only within the vacuum of space. It's armed with just two laser cannons, meaning it has to close the range before it can engage a target, and it has zero lift profile, making it sluggish and difficult to maneuver when saddled with the frictional drag of an atmosphere around it.

Compare that against even third-generation jet fighters, (widely considered to be obsolete today), which have a top speed of over 1,200 miles per hour and carry an over-the-horizon kill capability. In the American inventory alone, the current version of the AIM-120 "Slammer" has a range of nearly 100 nautical miles, and even IT'S starting to show its age these days.

And that's not even counting our ground forces, most of which are protected by armor that would blow the doors off of anything their galaxy appears to have produced so far. The M1A2 SEP Abrams tank, for example, is protected by laminated plates of boron-carbide ceramic with an embedded titanium matrix, sitting atop forged sheets of depleted uranium. And seeing that modern HEAT rounds are really just explosive-powered plasma blasters on steroids, a stormtrooper's plasma bolt would barely scorch the paint on that stuff.

And that tank is then going to answer with an APFSDS sabot round, which if my math is correct, would punch through the durasteel hide of an AT-AT like it was Saran Wrap.

So yeah... Stay away from earth, Grand Admiral. We may be a bunch of backwards, backwater hicks by your standards, but if there's one thing we know, it's killing people and breaking things.

(Okay, technically that's two things. Sue me!)

This is well written and people are in character

Hey I just read chapter nine and I think you posted a chapter for the wrong story. The previous chapter the rebels just landed on earth and in chapter 9 Ezra is in space by Lothal.