Dear Enthep Ethlalluki,

I am writing to complain about the frankly suprious claims your publication, "Historical Reports of the Eternal Planet" has made about the scenic tourist destination of Scourclams. I note that you have misspelled it as "Scourgeclams", an error I can only hope was unintentional. The name in fact refers to the delicious signature dish of our legendary taverns and their masterful cooks, scoured clams.

Furthermore, Scourgeclams is not a "dark pit" by any means - it is a trade town with a wonderful local culture and a cuisine dedicated to the fresh produce of the beautiful Waters of Smashing. Your advice to travellers to avoid the destination can only be malicious or mistaken, as the place is a wonderful trading stop or welcoming holiday town for any human, elf or dwarf that cares to visit. The "certain doom" your article warns of can only be another example of prejudice against the much-maligned and noble race of goblins.

Yours truly,

Urnu Malicebane, Head Elf Torturer of the Dungeons of Si- Oh, drat. Ignore that part.