More

It's not a bad story but the way it's written feels more like a bunch of ideas that were out together with no idea of the lore or you just wanted to forced the couple's together
Feels a bit cringy that he just accepts 2 marriages like nothing is going on and it's not just with looma and attea
There's bunch of moments that feel like that from the beginning from sunny and Gwen to the watches
But it's fanfiction and you can write wathever you want but just give it Abit more context intead of ohh a girl let's add her just cause she has a skirt ...

Why did Millious freak out when Ben changed to Bullfrag

The third paragraph is too large, cut that size into four paragraphs' to make

the chapter feel longer, is that okay?

Way too confusing to read on. Too little context to fully understand it. Sloppy.

Please fix the way dialogue is written in this story. It's very confusing when two characters are talking in the same sentence and paragraph.

It should be like this:

The group arrived in Ledger Domain and Cyborg asked "Where are we?"

"We're in Ledger Domain. It's a dimension made entirely of mana." Ben replied. "

Alright then who is she?" Cyborg asked pointing at Charmcaster.

"Cyborg are you stupid haven't I told about her a thousand times? She's Charmcaster queen…" Raven paused her eyes wide as realization struck. "Charmcaster Queen Of Ledger Domain. I'm your biggest fan please sign my spellbook."

The group heard an explosion in the distance and after the explosion faintly heard a voice shout "Ziiiiim!"

"What the hell was that" Ben said.

"When Raven gets overly emotional she loses control of her powers and this causes a ripple effect sometimes causing some small level destruction and when she's excited like she just was things explode." Beastboy stated in one breath proceeding to collapse on the ground. Cyborg picked him up and the group continued walking. It wasn't long before the group heard a voice say

"It's about time you arrived."

"I know that voice. Darkstar." Ben said still angry over his attempts to absorb Gwen's life force.

"Ben, Ben, Ben you need to calm down your anger is through the roof I can feel it" Darkstar said from the shadows.

"So you're the one absorbing energy from anodites." Sunny said.

"Oh a Gwen look-a-like looks like Ben really does have a thing for his cousin. I guess I win that bet."

Ben angered by this transformed into four-arms and said "Come out here and face me like a man."

Wow
Hmm... I think ben and julie should get back together
Mabey have ben gain a few girls hw meet in omvirse as well also pleas do not include Kai as a girlfriend for ben

Lit

please update

Fix the wall of text. I can't tell which character is talking

Awesome man.

Awesome chapter mate hope to see more soon

This is really good, and I love the way that Raven is a big fan of Charmcaster. Update soon!

Great start mate hope to see more soon y

Pretty good so far; keep up the good work!