moar

I'm really loving this story so far! I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next!

A great story so far, keep up the good work.

Your story is quite enjoyable, and I hope you're still interested in writing it. I'll admit, though, it sometimes feels like your characterizations are a bit... Overdramatic, or inconsistent? It's nothing overt, and most of the time consistent with canon, but I can't help but feel that there are some occasions where, for example, Sakura should have been more professional (dragging her team leader off by the scruff looks bad for the village; and worse is hitting him over the head in front of clients). And I feel like the shinobi as a whole would have been conscious enough of their surroundings to avoid airing their grievances with one another in front of so many people, when there is a high possibility that at least some of the audience will be able to understand what is being said. Or using opinion rather than fact to defend the idea that Harry didn't put his name in the goblet - Naruto might do that, but I don't think the others would. Just - little things like that which are fun to read, but also feel a bit off.

Granting the shinobi a bit more caution and maturity (just a bit!) also lends itself to slowing down the pace of the story; suddenly the Golden Trio have to fight for every bit of information they discover. I loved Hermione coming up with a translation spell (though if that was her original work, then yes she did do that before Ron?) and that you're developing Ron's character and abilities - he's so underestimated in this fandom. Best was perhaps the Golden Trio following after the shinobi into the woods under the invisibility cloak - it was very them. You could do more with that - it makes things too easy if the shinobi just have conversations full of relevant information in crowded halls or classrooms, even if they are speaking a different language.

As for plot devices - you'll have to use the ripple effect of the shinobi presence, but there is SO MUCH trouble that can be caused in a school full of magical teenagers. So much. Malfoy is a reasonable plot device - but so are the greenhouses full of dangerous plants (which Sakura might be interested in, both for medical purposes and for Ino or Yamato). There's the fact that Naruto probably thinks toads are the coolest EVER, while at Hogwarts Neville got made fun of for his toad because toads are uncool, and Naruto NEEDS to prove that TOADS ARE THE BEST. Enter: four-foot-tall Gamatatsu (wow, Gamatatsu, you grew a lot since the last time I summoned you, that's awesome!), and fallout. (Uhhh... Sakura-chan, why are you glaring at me like that?) And there's also the twins and their newly-developed product line... Who could totally use some of those ninja tricks (like splitting into multiple people) to their own advantage. They may not be able to learn those exact techniques, but they can try and come up with a magical equivalent.

More serious trouble could come by way of Crouch Jr. realizing that the presence of shinobi will make his life harder and taking countermeasures. And observation of the underwater task doesn't need to happen in person - think of Gaara's third eye! Long-range information gathering techniques should be fine for detecting trouble, and the ninja can be there in an instant. Certain techniques might also give the advantage of allowing the rest of the school to observe the actual happenings of the tournament instead of just staring at the lake.

WELL, those are all the ideas I possess at the moment. I hope some part of that was useful to you, and that you have time and the inclination to continue writing this story. I'll look forward to the next chapter.

I love love love this story! I hope you update soon.

Breathing underwater...ISOBU!

I love this so much! It’s beautifully written and i can’t wait for more. And yes, senioritis is a thing. Good luck to you :)

Yep, this count as a cliffhanger XD
This is awesome~~

Sakura being her usual cunt-self. -.-

love this

I LOVE this story! I can’t wait till you update it! I’m super excited to read how the Shinobi being here will affect the story! Keep writing! This story is amazing!

Hi! I wanted to say that I really like your story and I love the direction you're going with it. If I had to offer some constructive criticism, I would say that I think Naruto should be more mature by this point. His personality is a little silly but I don't think he's as bad as he used to be. Other than that, your story is going well. I can't wait for the yule ball when you get to that point! I hope the shinobi get to dance :)

Hey,

Normally, i don't read storys that combine 2 differenent storys. Though i don't know why, they usually just don't interest me. In fact this is the first one i EVER read. And i have to say Im quite suprised i enjoy reading so much. Its a shame that you are currently stuck and I hope you find some new inspiration.

kind regards
Me

I understand where you're coming from when you say you have senioritis (I'm going through the same thing lol) but I suggest you include some more action from the shinobi. Maybe at one point even introduce some rogue shinobi that are working with Voldemort? It'll add to the plot and make things more interesting for both the shinobi and the wizards, and of course, the readers as well.

I love this story, its exactly what I've been looking for with this cross over! 3 the only thing I have to say is sometimes the pacing is a little wonky and if you are looking to add more length, slowing it down would really help! its still really good tho!