Hey Author? Youre quite arrogant aint ya? Just like your chracter, did you model yourself while making your mc? Bcos the similarities are uncanny. You better stop being so arrogant boy, the world is small and you might end up dead.

Nice plot but it is ruined by your Protagonist. He is unlikeable, quite arrogant and doesnt think properly. What was his goal by announcing that he killed devils to Rias. And why does Rias ddnt report it to her brother, fvcking plot armor. You better rewrite this one to make it better. So much potential wasted by making this kind of Mc. And fvck you thats all

Please don't delete this it's a good story in something I'd like to re read when I'm in the mood I've read so many stories the just End and I still like a going back to read them even if I never know the end

Yikes, what am I reading?

Okay... what's with the stick up the ass in ren. He's a major dickwad... and way too arrogant. He got his wish and he's acting like the god of the universe! And I don't think zelretch can just give someone a true magic. That's completely stupid! And what's up with all the servants? Can zelretch actually do that? Hmm... yeah so ren is a major ass. Like seriously. What's up with that? Please put a stop to that.

so you have successfully turned a cool badass mc into a sappy, submissive hormonal teen! bravo! very few could destroy a story in such a way!

You should stay with only one Crossover with this. Don't do more than 1 in the same story, Believe me it will be a mess.

I think the problem comes from, too many characters. It's hard but I think you should REAALLY tone down the amount of servent you write in the story. I'm thinking one/class, maybe two. Other thing is, the fact that Ritsuka is just HUMAN with no other ability is what made him special in the first place. He should remain just that. Normal human, with really strong servants.

The other note I was not fan of is the "Rias let Issei die on porpouse fanon." it's overused, bonkers and absolutely serves no porpouse other than for shitting on Rias for no reason, and somehow give Sona the moral high-ground around Kuoh.

... Yeah this story is boring. Also if you don't know what the Japanese honorifics are please stop using them it makes you look like a failure Otaku. I mean really you have no clue how to use them issei is in the same class as the MC so why is the MC called senpai? What is he the senpai of? Noob BS that's what.

The story just seems so fake like a 7th grader was writing it.

...

So... you used random plot silliness with Gilgamesh with no justification to keep the story exactly the same...

whatever... losing interest very quickly in this.

wow, disappointed that using the "Include" move still keeps him at a level lower than a bottom tier Fallen Grunt like Raynare...

he's realllllllly weak.

Finally, i really hope this grail war comes and goes quickly. The idea of a Grail war in the dxd universe, where there are dozens of characters that can easily unmake continents, isn't all that impressive. Its like toddlers having a hissyfit compared to what something like Sirzechs can do.

If u going to rewrite this and delete this version. why don't u post a update 1st for a few days saying the rewrite is up so people already fav this can instasntly favorite the rewrite

how about shirou comes to hunter x hunter world so far i never find croossover wherw shirou comes to hxh universe

gooooooood ch p

g chp

bjddp