That was very charming and sad. I like that it's more about friendship than romance because it would take a lot for them to become a couple. The vignette's were nicely done.

Very well written, and this left me so heartbroken

Well I wanted to say that I loved the story, but you spoiled it with the end. It's still a very good story, you are a good writer, this being just the second story I have read, but I assure you it won't be the last. I loved the you portrayed Draco and Luna Until the end. The bit about Neville...I love Draco and Luna more. I loved the I interactions between them. Overall a good story and I enjoyed reading it.

The opening is interesting, the test in bold, but I feel like it wasn't telling us something we don't already know. Like, it's canon. I always think that when telling something readers already know, we should tell it with a new twist. Like instead of saying "Thestrals can only be seen by those that have seen someone die," say it with more poetry, you know? Loki's better at this stuff than me, but maybe something like "Only those who've seen the darkest horrors that life can show to us have the ability to observe the thestral."

The opening of the normal text is really good though! One word opening sentences really set the tone for the rest of the story I feel, and "numb" is a really strong word.

"There wasn't anyone that understood what he was going through." - I can't decide if I like this or not. On one hand, it's really easy to sympathise with. Everyone, especially anyone who has ever been a teenager, understand this because we've all felt like that, but on the other hand, the wording is a little bland. Like, I like it's directness, but at the same time it's not saying anything wonderful.

Oh I like whole hell/heaven thing. Like, his life had become a living hell, so much so that even death seems like a good option. And yet at the same time he's not suicidal. I really liked that.

I like how suddenly Luna comes in. Like you did the introspective backstory thing and then you're all like, now this shiz is going down, so pay attention to this now. It's really bold and direct and forces the reader to pay attention.

Oh, but I must say, I was put off by the-what did Shane call it in QL? He had better wording than me… hang on… narrative device! That's it! Okay, you're narrative device in te opening is third person limited, but then you start to talk about Luna from her POV in third person omnipotent and t'is a confusing thing for your dear readers. You should choose your narrative POV and stick wit it.

Ohh, interesting use of that picture prompt! I admit I didn't think of Luna when I saw it, but of a life so confusing and complicated the person couldn’t' get it all down into a coherent thought, so someone like Regulus, or Draco himself. BUT IT REALLY WORKS FOR LUNA! Yay for other people's originality, because without it we'd only see in terms of our own experiences.

"The light dress" - what do you mean by "light"? Do you mean

OMG Got distracted by a BEAUTIFUL song. Salvation by Gabrielle Aplin. You should listen to it.

Anyway, do you mean light as in its colour? As in light and flowy in texture? As in its weight? OMG maybe it's so light (weightwise) that its having difficulty keeping down, because gravity doesn't have much sway on it, so through this whole conversation she's actually fighting to keep her dress from showing her knickers :')

Anyway, anyway, ignoring that mental image, I shall move on with the story…

"Studying"? She was drawing squggly lines! She lives in a strange, strange world…

"Black pupil, grey iris" - this struck me as strange just because most people have two eyes, and in my memory, Luna did too… or is she one-eyed in this fic? Is this a creature fic? Is she a cyclops?

"sclera" - what is this word? I must know… OHHH! IT's THE WHITE OF THE EYE! That is a beautiful word. I love that word. I will marry that word. But first allow me to thank you for adding a new word to my vernacular. I love new words.

OHH! CAN WE DO A CHALLENGE ON DAII WHER- this is getting really off topic. I'll chat about it later.

This is where I got distracted and ran off to Skype to talk about challenges and competitions.

SO!
OMG IT WAS WORK! Well, not work for school, but a study nontheless. THAT WAS SO COOL! Like, I want the bit of your imagination that thought of that to be in my brain, because I never think of things that cool. *JEALOUS RAGE washes over Laura before she controls herself and smiles*

"It was so much more fun…" I never thought about Luna studying but this feels so much like her!

I also have to say that I absolutely LOVE Draco/Luna. They're so perfect in their weird little way. I think they could really understand each other.

Oooh, Luna angry is rarely seen. I like it xD

Okay, ignore the thing I said earlier about the bolded thing at the start not being poetic. I totally get it now. That's what you get for starting a review without finishing reading first.

Again, you seem to shift between POVs in this section. You should really try to stick to one in any given story, or shift between them with line breaks.

I love the conversation between the two of them, it had me really engrossed. I think both of their innate personalities shine through.

I love the opening of this section! The augurey section. It's wonderful how deep you delve into Luna's mind :)

AWW! Draco shouldn’t leave LUNA! Draco and Luna need each other and he should tell her, and she should say something Luna-ish, and they should fall in love because they just should, and then they have lots of babies.

I like how the section headers relate to what's going on, too. Very well thought out, Laura approves xD

OMG NO! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO OUR POOR HEARTS? CARA, you are a heartless so and so. I hate you for that ending. But it's a wonderful conclusion, speaking in terms of writing and storytelling. It really packs a punch. BUT MY HEART, CARA!

MY HEART!

"Maybe then, he would find the peace he so desperately craved." I don't know about that comma after then. It creates an odd pause that doesn't seem to work.

"…Draco's eyes, so she moved up close to him." This is a little wordy, you could improve it by removing up and turning close into closer.

This was pretty interesting. The way the two seemed to always be running into each other was neat. I like how Draco kind of starts to like her company after a while, but decides in the end that they couldn't be happy together.

Luna's fear of actually buckling down to study throughout was kind of funny and it's sort of sad that when she does, it's she misses the chance to see Draco and catch his attention. The bit where her and Neville share a smile was sweet and I like that it makes her hope she can finish studying quicker so she can spend some time with him.

Good story, Cara!

Can't say much now, but I really like the excerpts from the book Luna is reading at the moment. The fact that a Ravenclaw can 'not want' to study adds in to the twist of the story.

The way Luna comes out is superb... and I think you made Tiggs fall even deeper in love with Draco. I totally love the way Draco considers 'win or lose, die or survive...'

As for the plot twist at the end... that's totally fabulous!

~Ari
#Falcons_for_the_WIN! :D

Very well-written.