please update! :3 I love it

Amazing, please continue..

Wow, well written, i love this story so much! Please continue! 3

This is a great story and I can't wait to read more !

LOVE IT!
CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER :)

Hello! Sorry it’s been so long in between reviews. I’m still following and loving every bit of the richly detailed Greek world!

Having read, uh, a not inconsiderable number of your fics right now ;), I think I have finally gleaned enough of your style to put my finger on the area I would say needs most improvement, writing-wise.

You have a tendency to write out and tell characters’ emotions rather than show them through words, actions, or descriptions that don’t include the word for the emotion. Sometimes you have perfectly good indications, through all of the above, of what the character is feeling, but then you’ll go ahead and tell us anyway.

I’ll use the following paragraphs as examples; in this chapter you’ve actually done it less, but it’s especially prevalent in chapters prior to your hiatus... which means you’re improving as a writer ;)

“Annis was now circling Hades like an agitated hawk as she carried on with her tale. "Persephone may not know those Fields, but he does. I cannot even begin to guess which path he took, but he did this to separate me from her. He tricked her! And me!"”

This is actually pretty close to what you want to be doing; “agitated hawk” is a good simile and conveys the tenseness of the situation while not telling us outright.

”Annis came to a stop right in front of him, once again throwing up her arms. She let out a disgruntled noise, trying to draw Hades into her anger with her. "He gave me the slip and now he is alone with Persephone!"”

Here, you write out exactly what she’s trying to do. It’s redundant given her actions (disgruntled snort) and the things she says. You could write other descriptions to enhance the impact without telling, or you could simply trim it down.

“And Annis would have none of it. She was too wrapped up in her own woes to recognize that Hades was just as distressed as she.”

Same as above, only this time there’s not as much of an indication through her words or actions; you’re simply telling us.

I hope that’s helpful! This is, of course, not to say that one should never describe emotions or be explicit in stating them - I think how you get into the emotions of each character is one of the strengths of your storytelling. But I believe as a writer you can be much more concise, effective, and still skewer our reader hearts :)

Thanks also for the content warning! Very helpful. And, of course, prime examples of toxic masculinity here, with a helpful foil of sensitive masculinity. (Rhadamanthus vs Hades) Overall I think that particular scenario was handled pretty well. Looking forward to the next chapter! Good luck wrapping up Nanowrimo!

I love this story so much. It is beautifully written, the underworld realm is fantastic, and you have fleshed out the characters and plot of this myth in your own unique way. I don't usually leave reviews because I don't really know what to say, but I did just want to say thank you for writing it and sharing it with us.

Evil judge is getting his just desserts.

This was super good! Can’t wait for the next chapter.

Such a good chapter! But why do you do this to us Seph?!
I love how quick these chapters are coming, thank you for your hard work!

Hades sure has his hands full but this is a nice respite with Persephone.

I'm so glad to see this story back! Excellent writing as always, can't wait to see where this goes.

Loved it

love your story so much! So good you had the time to updatez

Hopefully Annis has learned a valuable lesson. Adultry and its resulting anger is not tolarated in the Underworld like it is on Mt. Olympus.