I really wish we'd get some cute moments with the baby and Sao'yan.. and I've been questioning this, but why hasn't Janika given him a name? I'm really interested to see what name he's given. I love the cuteness and maternal emotions are heartwarming, but it really would have been better if they were together longer... Its kinda awkward how she acts like she's had him for months when its only been days LOL. I love them though, it's so sweet!

Janika is a bit rude towards Sao'yan... which annoyed me. We the readers know how he feels about humans, but as far as we've seen she has no reason to believe he has a problem with her before the rough treatment... I dont like how she acts towards him... like she feels superior or something... She even acknowledges that she was being disrespectful to him, and that really irked me. He's the father of her adopted baby, I would think she'd have a little more respect towards him even on a neutral basis. I notice she does seem like she feels like she has more of a right to the child than Sao'yan... I know she's his mother figure and that's so so good that the pup has that, but strictly speaking Sao'yan has more of a say about the pup in this situation, and It seems like he is just giving the decision making to Janika... I cant believe that hasn't crossed her mind yet! Another thing I notice is how she acts really entitled towards him but then gets offended/shocked when he acts angry... i dont know what she expected honestly.

Sao'yan was actually being decent to her before she started acting sassy towards him, which we all know the Yautja hate... but honestly I was expecting him to react more violently.. sure he was being way too rough with her, but I imagine that wasn't his intention because he didnt seem as angry as I thought he'd be. His thoughts on the situation actually were amusing to me, and I like that he acknowledges their cultural differences and how she probably didnt understand their mating culture. It seems like most Yautja males ignore that fact! I'm so pleased that you wrote him that way! I actually really like Sao'yan and want to see more of his soft side.. he seems like a really unique Yautja character, good job with that.

btw.. I laughed when Kreb ran her hand over the furs, and she "realized" that he was trying to convey safety to her... when in reality Kreb probably just wanted to show off the furs to her LOL.

Its years old but please update this, I can live with this cliffhanger but I would like a continuation of this. I hope you write more stories as well, your too talented! I love your writing skills, you have such a good style.

I didn't think I'd like the additional of Janika's thoughts... at it's in 2nd person, but you did it well. And I little does Janika know just how long her little bundle of joy will be around! I wonder how she'll react to learning about their hunting culture lmao

Also, I have a feeling this story is going to be more KrekxJanika that Janika and Sao'yan. I wouldn't mind either actually :D and she is giving up her life for that baby, idk why she's already set on giving up loving someone lol. One thing that's mind blowing is how she acts like they've known each other for awhile but she doesn't even know Kreb! His jealousy over her possibly getting with Sao'yan is precious though. I was hopeful for her to have a relationship with Sao'yan but this is unexpected which I like!

Her saying that she didnt love anything on earth and that she wouldn't regret leaving it... idk it just seems really abrupt, considering how she had dreams and plans to start over after leaving Michael. I would think she had some skepticism about going to live with a whole new species that she knows nothing about.

The mother though... honestly... she is truly terrible. She doesn't want the pup and she doesn't care about the father, what was even the point of getting with Sao'yan in the first place? Then she has the nerve to be concerned of what will happen to her.. and what's really sad is the mother's willingness to help.

Even though I think janika is a little foolish and unrealistic... I still love her with the pup... and Uba's jealousy is satisfying. But seriously... I think Janika is VERY idealistic, which is ok but she's is dangerously so... I dont get how she can call Kreb her friend right after meeting him, and with so little interaction with him... she is too trusting. However, I am definitely glad to see her actually think about her decision to leave so abruptly. I notice a common pattern with her though, she doesn't think before she acts! which is a valid personality trait, which explains her more abrupt decisions.

Sao'yan's demeanor change was really sudden.. which is unexpected but it's cute... hope to see more of him and the pup. I'm a little bit surprised just how easily he handed the pup over to her though, I expected him to be more aggressive. The affect Janika is having on both males is endearing in a way, but I think it's rushed in Sao'yan's case... him giving over the pup and being uncertain of her is reasonable reaction but I think it's clear that he has a little interest in her... which seems rushed because just a few days ago he wanted her dead. Kreb's interest seems more natural, as he has a little more experience in humans and has no hatred for them.

Kreb's is still a funny character... and now I'm just imagining what Kelly's reaction will be to finding no Janika but brand new baby supplies!

I wish that Janika and the baby had more time together, like a few weeks... it would have really cemented the relationship. Also, I think that would have been a more reasonable amount of time for the yautja to find her. It's only been a few days since she found him though, wish it had been longer... Its so cute and I love it but it's too rushed.

But, you can really feel Janika's fear. It's so well written and described that it makes it sound so believable.

I just think she is being... really foolish... How did she so readily believe an alien that she thought had left the pup? And, she doesnt even think it through before agreeing to leave earth? I understand she wants to keep the baby, but... she's so quick to accept and she didnt even have doubts. Then she assumes that she'd have time to give him a bath a everything... I understand her motherly instincts and love for the baby, but like I mentioned she has only had him for a few days and she is acting really irrational...

I think its reasonable for her to assume that Kreb is the baby's father, but I still thought it was funny.

"He looked just like his brother and was probably just as ornary too."
I laughed at this, it certainly does seem that way. The baby is really fussy, and Kreb's reaction to him and his crying was priceless.

Janika certainly is protective, how she's acting in regards... is how I picture Yautja females. I wonder though, if she also has a 6th sense like Kreb's does. It seems that way, with her dream and how she "sensed" that someone else was in the house.

Kreb's seems likes he's normally very passive, to see this non-passive side of him is entertaining. It also seems like a natural response, so I'm glad that was not downplayed.

review for chapter 7:
I'm a tomboy myself but I don't see too many girly girls in Predator fanfics, which makes Janika's personality really appealing for some reason. But seriously, how does she expect to keep the little Yautja baby without her friend knowing?

And we learned that the baby is Sao'yan's first... this small detail really does add a lot of context. Any human father would be worried about their kids, but to yautja it is more about their lines and being that the baby is his first pup really explains why a yautja male pay so much attention. It's funny, because I actually have a fanfic in the works, in which the father is this concerned about his first pups.

Sao'yan is actually starting to grow on me. I was wondering why he cared so much, since most Male yautja don't have any relationship with their children. I am really excited to see how he will act around his pup, it will be so sweet I'm sure.

Kreb's gift is unique in fanfiction yautjas, I like that added piece to his character. Its intriguing, and I like Kreb's character in general.

The quotation marks indicating speech are placed really weirdly, which is the only thing I see that needs to be fixed.

The beginning was really confusing with her reaction... and my first thought had been that the yautja in the house was Sao'yan, then I continued and realized they hadn't even gotten to earth yet. I'm guessing this was supposed to be a vision or dream?

Kreb is right, Sao'yan does sound unstable... his reasoning is not sufficient for why he wants Janika dead..
The yautja give gifts and honor for humans who take down one of them or worthy prey, and also humans who fight alongside a yautja... I imagine a human woman saving the life of a pup would be viewed in a similar light, as being honorable and worthy of respect...
I just think his dislike for humans would be accurate for a yautja, and I imagine a male wouldn't want his offspring cared for by a human... but she has done nothing for him to feel this much hatred for her. I can understand why he would be emotionally hurt by a female rejecting his pup, but why would he fear a human's rejection?

Kreb is funny, I must say. Even though I think he's overreaction is just... too much, my heart melted when you saidhis friend had been hurt emotionally." I always love these type of strong but secretly soft characters.

I love the moments with Janika and the baby... I just love them...

I don't think that any of my past critiques really apply to this chapter. It flows really well, its fleshed out and detailed and the grammar is much much better!
I love this fluffy story so much, it really is a breath of fresh air to the usual seriousness that I prefer to read when it comes to pred fanfics.. I will say... this is going to get me reading more cute Yautja stories in the future.
btw... I notice that it's been some time since you've written a story here... I hope you write more in the future, because I really enjoy everything I've read by you so far.. I'm adding you as a favorite author, making you the third person I favorited on here (I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm picky about fanfics) please please please write more in the future, I really look forward to that!

And Sao'yan... he is being over the top.. I think he's exaggerating too much

ugh I love how the little Yautja is so clingy to her.. she's so star struck by him and he has already started to see her as his mother.
I really like how your portraying him as a demanding baby. Its actually how I imagine Yautja babies are, because I always think of their bearers as being mama bear types... and I think of the pups as being really dependent on them at first.
As for her 2nd theory that it's because of trauma... that's really logical... as he's still an infant, he would of course need that motherly figure in his life or really just a caregiver... period.
The little yautja is too precious, and really its unforgivable that his mother abandoned him.

And I notice the change in the story writing wise, and I love that it's much more detailed overall. I know that my advice is really really long and... detailed, especially for an older story... but I sincerely love this story, so I feel obligated to give advice, constructive criticism and my thoughts on it... even though you've probably improved so much since this was written. Still, I hope I'm of some help to you (and any other aspiring writers lurking in the comments lol)

"...she still wanted to be swept off her feet by a tall mysterious stranger that fell madly in love with her."

Cue the Yautja.

I like the emotions of this and the storyline of a neglective mother Yautja abandoning her pup is interesting. I think it does seem a little fast though, and grammar could be better. Like a previous reviewer, I suggest getting granmarly. I am not 100% perfect with grammar either, and I find the app really does help when you need it.

I also think elaborating on Sao'han's anger would be good. It's a really strong emotion and having it really strongly explained would make things even more intense. Judging by how you handle the more tender emotions, I think its safe to say you could really make us feel Sao'han's anger and I would really love it if you revised and expanded on that.

I'm really glad that Janika is starting to question the situation! I was wondering why she wasn't in the last chapter, because finding an alien baby and raising him... without some uncertainty... didn't make sense to me. I can understand it a bit better now, because it seems like she was really blinded by how much she wanted a baby and her instinct to protect... which is good and understandable because he was in danger of dying and of course I'm glad she didn't just leave him. So, in this situation I can understand her being quick to make plans to raise him. I would still have expected her to be a bit more stunned by his appearance though, since even as cute as a Yautja baby would be... I can imagine he would also look a bit scary even as a pup lol.

I do really love how maternal she is, it's so sweet... and really a mother's love is the strongest. This made me smile to read it. The baby Yautja... he is the cutest... I will keep saying it because I keep thinking it. I adore him so much, he's so preciousand I'm fangirling over your OC.

She's not even questioning what the baby is? I mean, I think his intro was really sweet and cute, but it'd be a nice touch if she also was showing a bit more curiosity, uncertainty.. or even fear. I think it's cute how protective and motherly she is being, and it ties in with her reasons for leaving Michael. Still, I think she is getting a little ahead of herself lol.

But I must say, when you describe the little baby Yautja... you successfully had me 'awwwww'ing at him. He really does sound so cute and I think you describe him so perfectly to give the impression.

I think your a really good writer, and in my comment for chapter one when I suggested that you flesh it out more... I think I should tell you that I know you can really do that well, because when describing and adding visuals and emotions you word it so nicely and do it so well. And I'm glad that the most important emotions are this well described. And I'm gushing over it because it's really satisfying to me (and trust me, I'm being 100% genuine).

When writing, try to stick with the progression of thoughts and points, keep them coherent and together because in a a few parts (mainly the beginning) it does seem a little bit stiff. For example, in the second paragraph, I suggest starting by listing why she SHOULD be happy, and then explain that she knows she should be before you say she isn't. It flows better and the progression of her thoughts makes more sense.

The beginning of the story is really important and a lot of readers do judge off the first few paragraphs or even the first few sentences! I actually can understand though, because the beginning is always the hard partbut it's so so so important, and I think it would be worth your while to do a little touch ups with the first couple paragraphs. I think that moving the sentences around a bit will make a big difference, because they are fine but just placed stiffly (and btw I have to do this with my stories to! lol)

Grammar wise, you should shorten the run on sentences because there are a lot. Also, you shouldnt separate so many sentences and instead make them into a paragraph of 4-5 sentences. One more thing I notice is that there seems like a lot of places where you can expand the story and write more about the scene. It would fill in the places where the lines are skipped, because it sorta does give off the feeling that there's something missing. If you expanded more on it, it would also help the story flow better and give the reader a better visual of what's happening in the story.

But, there were many many more things that I praise about this than I think could have been done better... I think her reasons for being unhappy are actually reasonable and they make sense which is good, I'm glad you didnt write something that sounded cheesy to explain her unhappiness. I actually really like your wording in a lot of places, and overall I think it sounds really intelligent, which just helps with the tone and your style which I said before that I really like.