What I like a lot is when we're from Taylor's point of view, and she's in a state between sleep and wakefulness. So that we cannot know if what she perceives of the Joker is true or not. Personally, I think all she perceives is true :)
Concerning the road trip, it's a marvel. Really. I really like the Joker's sentence : "You're only as ugly as you want to be." I thought about it the days following my reading. I think it's very interesting, and absolutely true.
If many people think about Lolita when reading this chapter, it is on the one hand because there is a road trip. On the other hand, it's because the Joker claims to be Taylor's uncle. Like Humbert Humbert does with Lolita. And, of course, because there is a strange relationship between a teenage girl and a man, in both cases.
When you describe the Joker and Taylor's arrival at the hotel, I assure you I could smell the air, the smell, like I was there.
When I read the scene when Taylor plays in the swimming pool, I really was amazed because it reminds me of my own plays as a child. You made me relive games I played as a kid. When we used to play pretend we were pirates, or wizards, and we could do that for hours, without any inhibition, and with such ease. It is without doubt among the most beautiful memories of my childhood, so thank you for giving me this, by the force of your writing.
I love the connection that takes place between the Joker and Taylor during the stay at the hotel. The contact during the breakfast, for example. I also really enjoy the encounter with Ian, since it allows Taylor to experience a healthy relationship with an individual. And it allows her to perceive her relationship with the Joker differently. Everything she dreamed of, a physical connection, finally, when that happens, she doesn't really want it anymore, or not exactly like before. And I think that's partly thanks to Ian.
I really like the staging with Nathan, which is made to echo Taylor's childhood. And honestly, I found very clever the fact the Joker uses Taylor's name to catch her attention, to manipulate her, to destruct her resistance. He calls her by name so rarely that all of a sudden it takes her breath away when he does, and it confuses her, and pleases her some way. Very clever.
"Just like old times." Like a circle, you can't escape.
And the ending... My God, I had tears in my eyes. I was like : "Noooooo, I don't want an end like that one !" I said to myself it was like a circle, so that it could not end. That Taylor and the Joker couldn't live without each other. I had imagined an end with a final scene, on the road, in the car, or in the bedroom of the hotel, together, after Nathan's murder. I had imagined an eternal restart, a prison of the mind. But I understand what you said in your note. Effectively, that was probably the best end for Taylor, unfortunately. The only way for her to win over the Joker, due to her kindness, her heart, her humanity, underestimated by the Joker. Yes, I understand. The end is gorgeous, and poignant. I was so sad to end the story, to leave the Joker and Taylor, to stop this journey. But when you told me Burn was a kind of sequel, I was like : "Ooooooooh, it's not the end !" And of course, and fortunately, there's Blackout too ! What a relief ! Thank you, thank you, for everything you give to your readers. You can't imagine the source of inspiration that you are. Reading you is like putting a bandage on my soul. Thank you so much.

This quote, before the chapter begins... So perfect !
I really like the part where Taylor begins to fantasize about the Joker. The poor thing, she feels guilty, she is ashamed. While this is quite normal. Especially in her situation, when you know what he represents in her mind, her life... "There is nothing she would not do for him, and it terrifies her." Here we are. The Joker seems to have triumphed.
When I read the scene with Nathan in the kitchen, I said to myself : "Oh, I think I understand another facet of the branding. The Joker did it to claim what is his, but also so that no one dares to touch her when they see the mark." It was what I thought.
"She thinks about the knife. And it's hard to sleep." The resonance of this sentence... It was so beautiful, and powerful, I swear I repeated it in my head several times. Really beautiful... And I love that her infected wound echoes the "swarming" of her thoughts. The Joker is in her mind, in the back of her hip... Invasive.
The description of Evelyn...I was so stunned by your virtuosity. Amputation due to diabetes, her addiction to food... Everything you write is truly precious, but it's times like this, where, really, you show the extent of your talent as an author.
I really, really love everything. The scene in the theater. When she walks to find the Joker. When she finds him, and sees him as he was in her childhood. The feeling of relief and fear, instantly. The memory of the murder, memory biased by what he told her. The way he heals the wound. The scene with the antibiotics. And I like your description of this feeling she has, that there are moments like this one when she knows the Joker is more dangerous and unpredictable than usual. As if there are times when his reason leaves, and there is no longer any limit. Nothing to stop him from his impulses.
The scene of the rape is really, really, hard. I read your note, and, effectively, I think you succeed in describing it with cleverness. It's important to share with several details this traumatic experience for Taylor, because it's what convinces her to follow the Joker, to accept his plan. But in the other hand, a scene with too many sordid details would be unbearable. But I think you wrote a balanced scene. And I love when, the day after, she runs towards the Joker to have an answer, to understand what just happened. And to solve her problem. A beautiful chapter, as always.

The metaphor of the ships... It's great. I remember I found it beautiful when I read it. Really nice, what a great find !
The scene you depict in the restaurant... Gorgeous. You know, when I read this chapter, the heat of the day was unbearable. It echoed the atmosphere you described here. I felt the heat of the afternoon while I was reading. And all you depicted, I could feel it, not just with your words, but because of the weather too. But your words were so full of meaning, it was as if you have managed to describe with perfection the least of my feelings. I read your sentences about the heat of the summer, and I was thinking : "That's exactly that. That's exactly what I felt right now. How can she so successfully translate the vibrant heat of a summer afternoon ? Oh yes. Talent." ;)
I was sad and amazed by your writing when you depict the way Talor eats. Her eagerness which says a lot about her abuse. I love the Joker's constant gaze on her. The impossible satiety.
I love the atmosphere of their meeting, this day that stretches before them, and them, walking, walking, side by side.
I love the dialogue the Joker has gradually opened, and which leads Taylor to open up increasingly. I like the way you describe her fragility, her animation, her feeling of having no legitimacy to speak, to express herself. And the encouragement of the Joker, which we would like to be sincere. These peaceful moments, which are unfortunately only a game for him, a "springboard" to better break her. Love Taylor's disarming honesty, which leaves the Joker hopeless in some kind of way.
And the beautiful scene in the warehouse ! In French, to say that something, someone, marked us deeply, we can use the expression : "être marqué au fer". It can be translated as : "to be branded". I don't know if you can say it in English. But your scene is really powerful, and full of meaning, even more thinking about this expression.
This chapter is one of my favorite. I carry it in my heart.

I really love the way you describe the invasion of the Joker in Taylor's head. His overwhelming presence, even though he is absent. Her impatience, her desire, to see him appear, to see him come back to her. It really has touched me. Her "fantaisies of him" that "borde[r] on insanity"... Just perfect.
How horrible to discover the family context in which Taylor evolves. The situation with Nathan made me sick. How disgusting. And it's hard to see a character you've become attached to being faced with what no one should go through.
The scene when Taylor see Mr J on the bench : really effective. It's like a mirage. Like an invention of his mind. And yet...
And then the finding, again. In the form of a rescue. The kind of wonder when Taylor tells herself that he 's real. That he's not a dream this time. She's struck by his reality after all this waiting. And the explosion of the fireworks... Splendid. Wonderful second chapter. Your writing is fantastic.

Hey !
At last, I'm reviewing JK ! I'm happy, because reviewing, I come back to this story that touches me so much... So it's a real pleasure to relive this experience. When I read the abstract of JK, I was so excited and joyful. I had finished Clockwork, finished the eleventh chapter of Blackout. I was like : "I have to read all the stories this girl has written, because her work is so beautiful." I read the abstracts of your stories, the same way I could look at the chocolate bars at the supermarket. That is to say with great desire, and saying to myself : "The one I'm going to choose, I will savor it, so that I can keep it as long as possible. Because it will be sooo good." And then, I saw JK, and more, I saw it was a post-Clockwork AU. So I've chosen to read JK. To find Taylor and the Joker together.
I love the fact you use alternating points of vue in your stories. It's really clever, and pleasant. I love being in Taylor's head, but, maybe I love being in the Joker's head even more. But it's probably because he's a riddle, even when you let see to your readers a part of his soul.
In any case, I've been super happy to find the Joker eleven years after Clockwork. I really liked your description of his impatience to find Taylor, how he imagines her after all these years... And the finding... When everything around them fades for the Joker when she appears. And the fact you simply write her name : "Taylor", before describing their gaze, the look on Taylor's face... It's really powerful.
And it's enlightening to read again this chapter now I read all the story. It's like a circle. You can see this need the Joker has to assert that whatever he does, Taylor will always love him. It's here in the beginning. And it'll be here at the end. He needs to affirm it. And he needs her to confirm that to it. In one word : "Bee-yuo-tiful" as you write it in Hero (see how I'm a huge fan, I can make references to your other stories ;D)
Very good first chapter.

I know I’m late to the party and all but I’ve been following this story for weeks now and deep down I knew it wasn’t going to be a happy ending, I knew it couldn’t be but man. I didn’t think it would end this way either. You did amazing! It really hurt my heart having to read the end because of how much I felt for both of the characters, I just wanted to say how great this story was, and how well though out it was too. Thank you for creating this!

dude... not cool...

I did not stay up till 3 in the morning on a school night only to have my heart broken

...duuude

OKAY, MY FRIEND, I LIED. In a search for something comforting and familiar, I’ve come back to this fic, which I had started ages ago and am happy to now finish.

THERE IS JUST SOMETHING SO LOLITA ABOUT THIS. The kidnapping, Taylor acting more grown up than she is, the gritty details, the road, the tension, the age difference, the obvious inappropriateness and horror of it all, I’m just. Enthralled.

"...there are two beds. Her gaze lingers on this last feature, unsure of whether she feels relieved or disappointed.” Jesus Christ, girl. That’s the heart of their dynamic, isn’t it? Says it all. It’s both. Those two feelings she goes back and forth between.

"She worries over Mr. J hearing her pee, feeling self-conscious, and turns on the sink so he can't hear.” - omg why is Taylor with Mr. J me with every stranger, lol. Or friends, even. CRUSHES. Lord. I get it.

"Do I look like a mermaid?" she asks, feeling playful, splashing her legs, batting her eyelashes up at him. She catches the way his throat bobs when he swallows." - I. *SCREAMED.*

"She folds her knees to her chest and then slides her oversized t-shirt over them to keep her legs warm. She burns the roof of her mouth on greasy cheese and blistering hot tomato sauce, and she is shivering from the air conditioning and her hair is stringy and wet and smells like chlorine from the pool, but she realizes, for the first time in a long time, she is really, truly happy in this moment.”

These details, omg. They’re so specific and attentive. It makes me wonder if this is the brilliant way you always personally see the world. It’s easy to let it slip by, details like this.

The two of them are the kind of people who no one will miss when they're gone. She knows this to be true, more than she knows anything else. - This, oh, my God. And the paragraph after that. Oh, my God. Like, this is WILD. Because of Clockwork obviously lacking this element but the moment she matures…I’m like, curious if you’ve always thought he would be predatory with her, or whether this kind of just developed with time. Also, the vagueness of it…the hazy details…makes you wonder what happened that night. TERRIFYING.

"Taylor blushes so hard that she has to look away.” - omg, the Joker is going to kill this boy. I was like, oh, no, he comin’. He’s gonna smell her happiness from 10 thousand miles away and snuff it out.

"You're like, really pretty," he says, and she can see his ears turning red when he says it. He has to clear his throat. They both look away.” OH MY GOD. THIS WHOLE SCENARIO is taking me back to middle school and this boy I had as a neighbor who told me the same thing when he was over my house to do homework one day I’M SO DEAD. I’m so nostalgic for this experience/this segment of childhood lol.

"Her extremities tingle, arms and legs, like they've fallen asleep.” Bruh, I’ve had this EXACT panic attack.

This…this was like watching an entire true crime documentary where everything is dark, heavy, and you can’t believe the things people went through and did in some innocent space like a hostel room, things gone unnoticed until the crime is discovered years and years down the line, when it’s all faded and dust is settling over everything and people have come through the crime scene — that hostel room — over and over again. GEEZ. I’m so spooked and in another headspace entirely, but it’s brilliant. Holy shit, that ending. AN ACCIDENT, of all things. Holy SHIT. I just. I’m. I’m like. NO. No. No. No. No. NO. There’s no way this marionette player, this orchestrator of everything, would slip up like this, have her die in his arms. I feel frustrated too. And, oh, of course he would blame her, at the end of all things. Geez, Louise. I’m just. K. Like, did you cry writing this? I think I would have been crying. I think you said you did? Anyway, I’m just shook and riveted. I love the perspectives. The way he’s thinking about peroxide. Oh, and my ABSOLUTE favorite lines:

"You don't hate me," he says between wheezes of laughter. "You don't hate me at all." He grabs her suddenly, flipping their positions so that she's flat on her back, trapped underneath him. The curtain of his hair blocks out the light as he leans down over her. "You love me," he breathes, shaking her. "That's what's so funny.”

There’s just so much here, the gory details, the Lolita-ness, the clever stark contrast of Ian’s pure love and the Joker’s deviousness and him being devoid of it so much that Taylor, after spending time with Ian, is not thrilled and feels disgusted, and I’m just haunted by the image of someone bleeding out on a bathroom floor, onto linoleum, and the thought of a scalpel being the murder weapon, the familiar memory of using one in biology class, except in this scenario this is a human being on bathroom floor, alive, being dissected, and I love that the bedroom is dark when they stumble out into it, I picture it all in silhouettes, them stumbling through the dark room, the misplaced knife in her, maybe moonlight being the only thing that illuminates her as she breathes out her final words. Gosh. Gosh.

And I love the mystery the Joker always operates under… I know it’s canonical and we’re not gonna ever see how he finds and ties up his victims but to have Nathan just kind of materialize in the hostel, in the room, all this crime undetected…it’s fascinating. I got really lost in this, and I’m glad for it, because I didn’t expect to be back here again.

I’m just thrilled. Thank you for writing this lil masterpiece. I loved getting lost in this haunted, lonely, cold world. You write some creepy shit, sistah, and I live for it.

Love,

SavvyJackie 3

Okay, so I have had the email in my inbox telling me this chapter was posted for MONTHS. Chapter 4 destroyed me and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to deal.
Of everything I pictured for this chapter, you still managed to surprise me somehow. I’m glad Taylor got a taste of what it was like to be normal, to spend time with a boy who had a crush on her, and I LOVED how that made her see the joker for who he really is.
I am also so, so happy she didn’t have to kill Nathan (even though /I/ definitely wanted to at this point) and that she got to end up still herself, and not the fucked up version of her the joker was trying to create. I love when people prove him wrong, and now he’ll never get a chance to prove that he was right; that she was rotten like him.
Beautiful chapter and incredible ending. I am so excited to read Burn next.

I'm crying. You're the best.

This. This is a fic I’m going to be coming back to and re-reading when I’m down or bored or just can’t find anything good to read, and I’ll never tire of reading it. This last chapter is a masterpiece, and although it’s sad, I think it ended in the right place. Well done bro.

I've been a reader of yours for so long, I can't even remember the credentials to my FF account anymore, ha! Thought of you on a whim, came to check in and was so excited to see this story finished! A great, thrilling read and realistic portrayal of the Joker, as always. Continue your wonderful work- you have immense talent and know that you have had fans following you for years.

I’ve read clockwork maybe 10 times in entirety? Can’t say the same for any other book or fanfic. In my opinion you are very in tune with dark subjects and complex emotions. I would stick with that. Thank you so much for your hard work and this gift. Love love love

You read this and know the writer has some history in psychology. Or at least been through deep psychological traumas and has delved into it. Along with the obvious sheer talent as a writer. Well done. I’ve only gotten through half of the last written chapter and i’m saving for later! But i can tell you your writing is something special. If not fanfiction please always continue to write. You really know how to hook
people in and excite for long periods of time. And that’s something with immeasurable significance. Love this story as well as your other Joker stories. Uncompared to all others. Thank you! Sincerely. I hope you bring this talent to many fronts and continue to bring entertainment to us

Breathtaking. Iconic. Well done.