I think this is a FABULOUS story! I so very much needed this after just watching 6x13! This was so good, I couldn't put it down! I read it all in one sitting. I've "been there - done that" with many of the feelings Regina went through in this fic regarding miscarriages & infertility. It's painful but therapeutic to read how she handles it all. Thank you for sharing! Now I'm off to explore the rest of your masterpieces!

Came across this story on the concrit forum and decided to give it a go. On first opening it, I was taken aback by all the italics. For some, this can have them pressing the back button real quick. Italics usually denote flashbacks, and with that much flashback at the begining, it means the story isn't moving forward which is how you want all stories to begin. Readers will be engaged in the present and what is to come, not a rehash of the past, even if it is pertinent to the story. Also, there is a strong passive voice in this chapter and, telling instead of showing, which also slows the story down.

'She was lying in bed trying to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come easy that night.'
or...
'Regina/Zelena (because it isn't obvious who the MC is) lay in bed as restless as the time ticking away on her clock.

That is a very quick example, and maybe not the best analogy, but my point is the removal of 'was' and 'wouldn't', which bog down sentences and flow.

The second paragraph is confusing. I'm not sure what is happening there, and typically, using ( ) should be avoided as it draws the reader out of the story. I had to stop and figure out if you, as the author, were breaking the fourth wall or the MC was thinking this? Also, you haven't mentioned who the POV is? Who is the 'she' you're are referring to? Your summary mentions Regina and Zelena, so you need to be wary of your pronouns.

Formatting issues with no paragraph breaks after dialogue.

'Robin?'
She spoke before someone else had a chance to reply.

or

'Robin?' she asked, before someone responded.

Mocking rotten eggs? I don't know what this is?

POV issues are confusing the story. I didn't know who 'she' was most of the time, and I think you even jumped across the country without a page break. This goes back to the pronoun issue. Everything is clear in the writer's mind, but it isn't necessarily in the readers if all they read is 'she'.

I'm not into pregnancy stories, nor the themes you are writing about, but for the readers who are, you've developed a plot and suspence which should keep them wanting more. But if you really want to improve your writing, as you mentioned in the forum, do a little research on passive and active voice, along with use of pronouns. Improving those two things will clean up your story writing alot and make even more people want to read your fanfic. As it is, its too cluttered for me to continue. Sorry.

OMG! Please go on, what an amazing fiction! I think it would be pretty interesting to see the realtionship between Zelena and Regine, since they both pregnant, and that in kind of way they both will support each other!

I do like it! SUCH AN AMAZING FICTION! Please keep on!

I'm so glad she told Robin! I really wish the mess with Zelena wasn't hanging over their heads... Maybe Walsh is Zelena's baby daddy? Update soon! You are a great writer.

I have not forgotten about this story yet, so I am soo joyful that you updated! Update soon :D

omg please don't make robin the father of z baby, let her be lying, let the baby really be regina's please? i'll forever be grateful

And then?! Please, make a suit! I just can't wait!

Please please update!

I'm in love!

Please continue soon :D!

KEEP WRITING I LOVE HOW YOU DID BACKGROUND ON THIS!

I love this story. It seems very real how emotional and raw Regina is. The show seemed to gloss over both Regina and Robin's emotions about such a messed up situation, so I'm glad this fic is addressing it. I'd love another update soon, but I understand it can be hard to write until inspiration strikes.

:D so glad you updated

Ohhhh I'm so happy you updated this fic! It's amazing, keep on with the good work!