please update, it starts interesting

please update, it starts interesting

Add more chapters please

I love the story. The part with the near-psychotic paramedics was a hilarious touch. I can't wait until you release the next chapter. :) :)

love it please update soon i will be waiting bye

oh. please update soon. this fic is most enjoyable

I enjoyed your story plot. I hope you will continue and update soon. Thank You for the story.

Update soon please

Please what your gender tense with the robot. You clearly identify the robot as a female but keep using masculine tense when you are referring to HER creator, not HIS creator.

I have a name idea: Calculated Chaos. It seemed to fit, but if you use it or not is up to you. I won't get insulted or upset if you don't.

A little advice for your writing, I swear I'm not being mean, looking at it in either first person or as a disconected reader might help with your wording. It was looking a bit awkward in a few r ather noticable story idea though.

from one writer to an other. i suggest looking up naturalreader.
info: Free NaturalReader 13.0
All basic text to speech functions
Free to download and free to use
Compatible with PDF, Word and webpages
Floating bar
Change speaker and speed
Windows and Mac versions available
Just 1 minute to download

i have dyslexia and this free program has helped me a lot. you can always buy a better version, but the free one its pretty good.

This is a good story. Like the other reviewers, get this beta (some of these could have been fixed by spellcheck) and I think a better title could be "A Child's New Hope.

There's a couple of things that can be cleaned up with this story. First and foremost being the tenses. In just about every single sentence, the tense swaps from past to present to every single one in between so very often that it's extremely difficult to understand exactly what is happening in the story. "Is this something that's happening right that second or was it something that happened a few seconds ago storywise?" That is the question that will probably help you straighten this out, should you decide to try your hand at it yourself.
Second, your keyboard or however you are typing seems to have a very lagging reaction to certain keys; that seems to be the case as well as your not being entirely sure how something is spelled. Prominent examples are the word "gangbanger" where "gangmember" sounds a lot better...along with the word "blur" being misspelled as "bur"...
The most impressive thing I find about this fic however, is not so much the plot or storyline (which could use a bit of polishing up, along with the vocabulary, to be honest...). What I find the most impressive is actually the sensation of the passage of time. From paragraph to paragraph, despite confusing tense changes, (sometimes right on top of each other), there is a sense of time passing by, not realtime as in as the chapter is read, but storyline-wise as events are occurring. That you don't have the sequence of events practically dogpiling each other is very nice and highly unexpected for such a short chapter. From what I've observed, that is a particularly tricky technique to grasp, so I commend you for that.
All in all, while your story isn't the absolute best, it does have potential to be quite interesting. I look forward to reading the next chapter!

Small mistake. You wrote "gangbanger" instead of "gangmember".