me, by the end of chapter 2: This is gonna turn sexual really fuckin fast ain't it?

me, by the end of chapter 3: oh hey look, those bad-time 'really gonna get sexual' vibes are sounding out again

me, by the end of chapter 4: Why

Very good story. Heather better get behind a Fidelius or some better wards than Snape’s house because her skin is lying in a bathtub upstairs. I’m sure she could be easily tracked with it, even without the Dark Lords connection. Glad to see the escape was successful, it kind of felt like something was going to go wrong since it was such a spur of the moment decision.

This story is freaking incredible. Definitely a sub and favorite from me

hope she is able to rally the people to her side and manipulate the masses to become an wolf in sheeps clothing as they say. she may see the dark side in a better light now but only marginally as both sides want to kill her. maybe she can have a truce with th dark lord so she has more freedom? glad to see sirius alive hope he makes it back to heather soon.

I thought it was familiar, but this one just smells like World of Darkness, which is awesome btw.

The sexualization of Bellatrix is off charts sorry .
She is doing and saying all sorts of vulgar things and seems to be willing to fuck anyone or anything. She talks casually about sleeping with the Dark Lord while being ultra vulgar about it , she seems to be obsessed with Sirius and I sense something sexual there too and she even tried it with Heather ( somewhat) . She is also very crass even in front of others like Snape for example. In this chapter she is even compared to a streetwalker ffs o.O . I would very humbly suggest you to tone her down a bit as I find her way too cartoonish and over the top . Is is also tasteless to reduce someone who worked hard to prove herself and was devoted only to her cause and the man who embodied it ( or so she thought) to being a cut above a streetwalker and this happens so very often with Bella in fanfiction . The way she talks and acts besides screaming mentally ill ( which makes sense ) also screams an 'easy woman' that deep down no one takes seriously ( although she is supposed to be an exceptional witch and Voldemort's favorite) and is objectified by everyone around ( even paraded around by her 'employer' to attract men).
It is possible that her asset was her mind and skill #justsaying . Also it is possible that being a Black ( an aristocrat) her manners were somewhat more refined ( at least not the epitome of crassness ) albeit aggressive and direct ? It is possible that despite her beauty Voldemort didn't parade her around like a pimp but treated her as he did with every other death eater without discriminating her for her gender . Maybe for once a woman didn't have to use her body ( even as pure eye candy) ? I know it is an AU and of course characters differ from their canon selves but there seems to be a tendency to mix mental illness and promiscuity together it comes to Bellatrix and those two don't go hand in hand . Also I am certain she wasn't the only cuckoo person among the Death Eaters and Voldemort himself wasn't the epitome of sanity either yet Bella's craziness is always described in a funny way . She is almost a caricature that tends to amuse or even repulse readers. Not much else and she has zero depth . A poorly written ' femme fatale ' of sorts.
I must say it is not that easy to write female characters especially if they are grey or even villains. In fact I would argue is hella difficult and the risk of falling prey to all sorts of clichès is even bigger than with male characters. Your Bella is overdone and you could work a bit on Heather too although she is better written and it is obvious you have some respect for the character ( her being the protagonist ) and thus she is nowhere as campy as Bellatrix . Bella on the other hand ...
I was honest in what I wrote . Please don't take this the wrong way . We do this for fun ( you writing it and us reading it ) so it is all cool at the end of the day .
You are free to totally ignore what I wrote ( and most likely you will ) but my intention was not to insult your work or anything. You have your readership and you have a story to tell so keep it up . I only wrote this because I think that particular character needs improvement and the plot is a bit all over the place to the point of confusin but I don't mind if at least it ends up going somewhere. Thank you for sharing

this is the wildest thing ive ever read

Yay! Sirius isn't dead! And Heather is free for the moment! I can't wait to see what they all do in this new situation.

haven't finished reading the chapter (I had to jump down to comment before I forgot) But I adore how you write Snape and My favorite part of the chapter is the dialogue with snape and harry, Love it 3 Thanks for sharing this

Uh oh thanks for updating!

Thank you so much for updating! This is my favourite fic!

And.. did Sirius eat those people? I'm a little confused.

Also, it might be a good idea to make paragraph breaks when you change perspectives, I got really confused when it changed from Heather to Hermione. Keep up the good work (:

I'm glad to see a new update so soon! I'm actually not a big fan of Heather, it's not a writing thing it's just her personality and decision making seems to always conflict with mine. Thanks as always and until next time!

Followed, it was a bit slow in the beginning but a friend recced it, the latest chapetrs were great however.

Seriously one of the most riveting fics I’ve read. Your world building and magic system is really fantastic and I’m looking forward to reading more. I would be interested a seeing the repercussions of such a large scale attack on muggles. With what was mentioned earlier in Snape’s thoughts while talking with Dumbledore about how dangerous the muggles could be to so many of the younger magicals, I could see there being any number of possible reprisals.

This story is crazy good. Hoping for some voldemort/Harry action in the future.