Good story but I liked the characters from the show the OC chapters weren't as great for me

Amazingly brilliant work on this final piece of the story! It was truly touching ad very beautiful, it was much like what I could imagine a series finale for the show being like, of course you added even more beautiful details and emotions that might not have been captured on screen, especially with R.

Outstanding work on the first part of the chapter, the way we get sort of a recap of R’s life. What it was like before she died, growing up and feeling like an outcast, the troubled relationship she had with her parents, running away and getting hurt and later killed by such cruel men. Even though these little pieces were given to use throughout the story I liked how you presented them all together here and helped us really see who R was. Then we heard more of her Returned, more about that man that killed her dying when he saw her again, how she met the others from Arcadia and helped them fight Nathaniel and the evil he brought with him. All of that was a wonderfully written recap that quickly reminded me of all the previous, brilliant, chapters from before. Especially the last one, Marty finishing him off, the mysterious key and finding out what it opens, and the blind woman being not just a blind woman but an angel.

Great part where the woman helped them return to the Langston home and away from the field, maybe that field’s purpose was to fight Nathaniel—the gigth is over now, they don’t need to be there anymore. You did such an excellent job at writing the woman’s explanation of what the key was, how it gave the Returned a one-time opportunity—the details and descriptions of the key and it’s glowing beautiful hymn sounded so lovely I liked how R started to almost melt to it but Preacher James ‘brought her back to him’ aw. Her words also slow confirmed my thoughts about what they key opened and when she said that it was a key that could send all of them home I knew what it was and was so excited and happy and even a little sad when I realized it was true!

Really loved how the characters still needed some explaining and how the door soon appeared after they had closed their eyes, again the details of what the door looked like were wonderfully done! I so loved the idea of The Returned being given this choice, to stay with the living, become like them in that they age and can die, but mostly they get their second chance; or they can go back home—so beautifully done. It was ncie to see Preacher James concerned about the other many Returned and I’m glad they each got this choice too.

Slowly we start hearing from everyone and their choices. Margaret want’s to go—I think that made a lot of sense and was fitting with her character and all she’s gone through. When Jacob said he would take her, I loved Marty’s concern and asking him if he was sure; so loved Jacob asking about seeing his parents and of course him being assured he would see them—he missed them so much and I’m glad that he’ll see them again still it’s sad he won’t be there with Marty and Jenny and get his second chance—I think it was Jacob’s choice that I got the most choked up on. Very happy that Jenny and Marty will stay together and the mention of Maggie and her and Marty’s children was so very sweet.

Then Preacher James decides to go too and Marty is surprised—I so loved the exchange between the two men there. Preacher James finally calling him Marty and Marty holding out his hand to the man. Brilliant stuff! More awesomely written stuff as R makes her decision. As I read I could feel how torn up she was on the decision. She wanted a second chance but didn’t think she would get that, she didn’t know what lied on the other side of the door and could only hope that it was a place she could finally call home. It was nice seeing that the bond between her and Preacher James was so strong and she wanted to be with him, maybe with him she could finally have that place to call home?

Such a very lovley image you painted of the characters walking off into the light. Jacob’s wave goodbye to Marty and Jenny, Preacher James holding R’s hand and the exchange of telling each other that they liked each other was really sweet. I really loved the detail about how Jacob—like the others—had turned back into the age that he had died at that was a wonderfully added detail. I also really liked learning more about the key and the blind woman thanking R for keeping the key safe, and how it was no longer a tattoo anymore.

The reunions between the Returned and their families was another very touching and sweet sight that just about brought tears to my eyes, especially the part where Jacob got to reunite with his parents. I was also very happy to see Tom there and him holding Baby Nathaniel, the real Nathaniel and Rachel was coming soon too! Aww, yay! The explanation of how Nathaniel had become evil during his time with the living was outstanding! So very well thought of and it all makes so much sense! Some very powerful stuff with all the talk about Sin and Faith, great work there!

It was sad seeing that R was alone, no one there to welcome her but I so loved when she realized she wasn’t alone and had Preacher James with her. It was really so wonderful to see this softer side to the Preacher as he told her that she shouldn’t be sad, her struggle was over. LOVED when she realized this place was her second chance and this lien was so incredibly moving “This was the end, but no. I'm wrong again. Death is only the beginning, and Love is no longer a dream. This is my second chance.”

I loved the ending and how we learn R’s name, Reed with her final sign off before she gives the journal to the blind woman—angel, who will leave it for others to read and learn what happened, learn her story. Such a wonderful way to wrap up this very wonderful story.

Wonderful work on this once more, I so enjoyed reading it. Thank you so much for writing this story and sharing it with us! It was such a fabulous read I’m sure I will be back to reread it in the future. I look forward to reading more from you! Till then keep up the marvelous work!

Marvelous work on this next chapter! Truly captivating and with so much going in! I loved all the suspense and the action in this chapter. It was written so wonderfully, easy to read but also very easy to imagine and picture as if I were watching the show. Brilliant work!

The first scene with that vision like thing of the characters was such a terrific way to start off the chapter. I really liked all the little details that it started with and then how those little details added up and created the bigger picture of what had happened. The scene of course was sad and even a little hard to read because of how everyone else was hurt and dead, this included all the different Returned and Jacob and Preacher James and the others too. All killed and hurt by Nathanial and the evil inside him. Then the part with R and her being alive but barely, taking in the chaos and disaster around her, incredible writing there. Those ugly sounding snaps filled me with fear too especially when her grabbed ahold of R and she heard the snap again.

I was so relieved to see that it had all been a dream, or even a possible vision. It’s not exactly a good thing, it could very much be seen as a very bad omen of what was to come from this fight but at the same time it reminded me of the visions in the show and like the ones in the show it made me curious about what it all meant. I really like how when R woke up she was frightened, shaken but also being held in the arms of Preacher James. That was really nice to see, see this gentle side of him come out, a gentle side that actually seems quite genuine. I wonder if he saw the vision too or a form of it? Maybe that was another reason that he had not wanted to sleep the night before. Wonderful work on writing the feelings and emotions of R that the dream left her with, worrying that it was a promotion of what was to come and praying she never saw anything like it again.

The set up of the setting with everyone waiting and preparing themselves for Nathaniel’s arrival was another really well written part. I especially liked how the in that moment R was remembering and recalling details from her dream and how they were making themselves present during this time as they waited. Like the part where she stood in the place where she had died and then quickly moving away from that space—great stuff there! I really liked how Marty tried to comfort her and let her know that everything was going to be okay. I could see older Marty in this young Marty too.

Oh gosh the SUVs showing up and Nathaniel and his men arriving…not only that but Margaret as well! Whoa! Did not see that coming! So the bling woman is not Margaret and what’s worse is Margaret is now on Nathaniel’s side. Reading that, especially Jacob’s reaction was heartbreaking. Margaret’s another character I’ve had mixed feelings for but imagining her being captured, tortured and broken by Nathaniel was so sad. I really loved Preacher James and his comment about how strong Margaret was and how she couldn’t be broken.

Nathaniel wanting to speak to Jacob and Preacher James and then getting upset when no one was answering him was some scray stuff, you right away showed us how evil, heartless, and dangerous this guy was. Turning those Returned that were guarding the house into dust! Great stuff there, because it reminded me of the dream Jacob had in season 1. His threat to the Returned of how they would die if they did not answer him seems to not have the affect he thought it would and they stayed in their places and did not answer him. They may be afraid of him but they’re not showing it, they want to protect those inside the house and those in their world.

The descriptions of The Returned taking on Nathaniel and then loosing, like R icould feel my heart dropping at their deaths. I really liked how Nathaniel used different attacks though, turning them into dust, or just killing them, even making them make themselves disappear OR turn them on his side. Something I’m sure he must have done with Margaret as well. Really brilliant stuff there!

When R’s nightmare starts coming true in the family rom with the others and Nathaniel, I definitely felt myself worrying that the nightmare had been a vision, a horrible vision into the future. But then something happened! Something unexpected, good, and pretty cool! They’ve all suddenly been transferred from the Langston house out to the field! No way! LOVED how you brought that field, the markings, and the tree back in! It looks like that place is the place where this battle was meant to happen…and that’s where Marty said he felt powerful! Maybe that’s why they are there! It’s a place where Marty and the others feel powerful but Nathaniel’s powers weaken? Interesting to hear that the blind woman was not there…was she the one that moved them? Maybe sacrificing herself with that movement?

Uh-o it looks liked Nathaniel is also very powerful in this place…or at least he feels powerful here. His change of appearances and looking scarier and deadlier than before is not a good sign! Then the fighting begins and while there’s several of them against Nathaniel he’s more powerful than them and quickly starts to take them out. I liked seeing Preacher James and Jacob working together when they went after Nathaniel but he tossed them away, creating another vivid and tough image. I like how they got back up again even though it led to more injuries. Preacher James being thrown into the tree and then Nathaniel catching Jacob by the throat. I loved Jenny coming in at that moment too and attacking Nathaniel, getting him to let Jacob go and possibly saving him until she too got hurt. Heartbreaking image between brother and sister Marty and injured Jenny.

Loved when R stepped in, trying to protect Marty and getting Nathaniel to focus on her, something he really didn’t seem to mind. The ugly sound filling her ears, had me worried that he had snapped her neck but I think it was her wrist that he had snapped instead, still bad but it could have been worse. Oh gosh when he grabbed her in that choke hold I thougth for sure the dream was coming true but then he lets her go suddenly! It looks like R had burned him, the tattoo on her arm maybe? I wonder what it’s of? And what does it mean? Was this part of the gift or the something different that the others could sense about her? Whatever it was I’m glad that it kept her safe and made Nathaniel release her.

Awesome stuff with Marty that followed! Him running towards Nathaniel and R trying to stop him. LOVELOVELOVED how Nathaniel snapped his fingers and then Marty was gone BUT THEN HE REAPPEARED! AND HE WAS OLDER! THAT’S WHY HE CAME BACK AS CHILD! BRILLIANT THINKING AND PLANNGIN THERE! And of cours ei loved the image of the whole event occurring. Nathaniel’s confusion and Marty getting back to the age that we knew him as. And then the cicadas! You brought them back and I LOVED that! The way the frightened the men at first but then began to help Marty and help defeat Nathaniel—BRILLIANTLY AWESOME! I don’t think I’ll be able to see those episodes with them without thinking of this scene. Your writing of that scene when the cicada’s formed that weapon and then them going over to Nathaniel, I really thought it was over and didn’t expect him to suddenly go after Marty again and attempt to snap his neck, thank goodness Marty still had the blade! I so loved and admired how you wrote Nathaniel’s death and how he feel onto the moon shaped pattern before the cicadas came and covered him, making him disappear. Very power and creative stuff and of course I just loved that it tied into the show too!

Glad that once Nathaniel was gone and defeated—yay! We still got to see more with the characters and their unanswered questions like R’s burning tattoo that was now glowing! If it didn’t burn Marty or R I’m thinking it was the evil in Nathaniel that made it burn him, so many this tattoo means something good, really good even holy? R says it’s just a tattoo but Marty says it’s a key! An important key that means something! But what?!

I really loved the happy stuff we got when Jenny and then Jacob see that Marty is okay and back in his adult form. That was really nice to see and foc ourse I was glad that both og them were okay, a nice little moment between R and Jacob she she helps him up and he is concerned about her arm. The really sweet part was when R found Preacher James. The way she found him sounded painful and it broke my heart when she thought he was truly hurt. Glad that he wasn’t and once again you captured his character perfectly with that lien about him being thrown against the tree lol He’s also concerned about the tattoo and like Marty knows it’s a key that opens something but doesn’t know what.

It looks like the only person that knows what it opens is the blind woman! It was ncie to see her appear again! And she’s not a blind woman, she’s an angel! Wow! That was a really good and fitting twist! She knows what the key opens and is willing to show them all. I wonder what it opens. I have an idea, I hope I’m right but I’ll have to wait and see by reading the next chapter!

Wonderful work once more! I so enjoyed reading it! I’m excited for the last chapter, also a little sad because of how much I’ve enjoyed this story, and I will be reading and reviewing that soon! Till then keep up the very fabulous work!

This was a very wonderful entry to this story! Once again it had me hooked and wanting to read more when it came to a close! So excited for the finale on Sunday! I’m not really sure what’s going to happen because really the possibilities are endless but I do know this, I am excited!

Terrific start off to the chapter describing the meeting with Jacob and Preacher James addressing all the Returned that were there. You did such a great job at creating that scene of the large crowd and the feelings of fear and worry and not wanting Preacher James there that seemed to fill them all. The description of the blind woman was also really great, I’m growing more and more curious about her. Is she really blind? Who is she? Why does she make Jacob and even Preacher James nervous? And can she read minds? Maybe she’s part of the tree too?

I really liked reading about how Jacob had control of the room for a while and his speech to the others really was wonderfully done. I’ve said it before but this young man has really grown up a lot and has a lot of his role models in him. I’m sure they are all proud of him, even if he thinks they might not be because he’s accepted Preacher James’ help. Great work on getting the other Returned to voice their opinions and thoughts! I so loved how you did that, it was like watching the show and seeing these people who we really don’t know but maybe have seen in the background a few times. They all had really good concerns and questions about both Nathaniel and Preacher James.

And speaking of Preacher James, still LOVING the way you write him! He’s just so perfectly in character! A great moment when he brought up the tree on his back and there were some groans from others—I could see that—but he doesn’t mind because he has people who do believe in the tree—I could also see this part too. Hearing more about this fight against Nathaniel sounds very serious and even pretty scary. He can kill Returned and in a way where they can’t Return again. There is a lot on the line right now including the word itself. Hearing about what could happen if they win or loose was some more excellently written stuff. What the blidn woman said especially about how if they win they go home. Does that mean home as in everything is normal and they continue their lives or home as in they return back to being dead? Maybe this war with Nathaniel is why the Returned returned?

Interesting to hear about the list of people who are part of the tree I wonder if they each have a role in this and what role they all play. Of course we know most of the people mentioned already that are on the tree. Jacob, Jenny, Preacher James and the character but it seems like there are several others as well. Havign them all together I hope we help them defeat Nathaniel, I really liked reading about some of the explanation of how Nathaniel is powerless when in Arcadia and surrounded by these bloodlines. Again Jacob’s speech was a brilliantly written one when he tells the others to satdn and fight with them, even putting his hand on Preacher James—it’s a step closer and I really really hope that Preacher James doesn’t some how betray Jacob and the others I’m really starting to think that he’s a pretty good guy here and wants to help. Very powerful moment with everyone standing and showing that they would be part of this fight to save not only themselves but the others as well, the living who already don’t like them very much. Loved the detail of the character standing and clutching her diary as well—it’s such an important part of her character and of her I think,

The next scene with Preacher James and the character having that talk in the living room was a very outstanding and awesomely written part! The dialogue flowed so smoothly and I just about hung on every word trying to learn and take in all this new information as well! First we learn more about Nathaniel and boy what a story that was! Him aging so quickly! Whoa! That is brilliant and something I would love to see on the show as well! It creates such mystery and really does make you think that something must be up! I can only imagine the reaction of the one year old suddenly turning eight instead and now he’s 24? Very interesting! Preacher James then asks how the character became a Returned at her age and while she does explain what happened, I wonder if her being murdered wil play some kind of important role in the story along the way? Also liked hearing about Preacher James and his ‘spies’ that whole moment was terrific and again something that I could see occurring in the series itself.

A very intriguing moment where Preacher James talked about why he didn’t age and how he connected it with the time he’d spent in jail as well. That was very nicely done and I like the way you had explained all that. Nice job there! Oh and it sound like the character has similar thoughts that I do about why Marty came back at the age he did, how it has something to do with killing Nathaniel but why would a 12 year old boy need to kill him? Hmm…And we got a kinda sorta name for the character! R! interesting…And Preacher James making that comment about how he knows who she’s really writing FOR? She’s not writing to herself? Or to just her diary? Who is it then? So curious! It does sound like something Preacher James would do though, reading her diary. And that ending line! That did not sound good! In fact it sounded very familiar, something from the Bible or something like that? I feel like it’s hitting at something but what! I can’t wait to find out!

Marvelous work once more! I so enjoyed reading this! I look forward to reading more and can’t wait for the next parts! Till then keep up the very awesome work!

Another outstandingly terrific chapter this was! I could not stop reading it! And the way you wrote Preacher James HOLY COW! He was SOO Much in character I could see and hear him perfectly! He’s a very complex and mysterious character and you are doing a fabulous job at portraying him!

The start off to the chapter was terrific I liked how it began with Preacher James arrival and him having to be checked by other Returned who are following Jacob and Jenny, thought that showed how he’s still not trusted by Jacob or Jenny and maybe not by the others either. Seeing Marty, young Marty, run up to Preacher James and hug him calling him his friend was odd to see but at least he’s not afraid of Preacher James. Still Jenny doesn’t want Marty near Preacher James, probably because of how Preacher James is responsible for making her brother this way.

Very interesting to see that Preacher James wanted the character to stay, saying that she should stay and Jenny and Jacob knew why. She does have a big role in this just like Jacob and the others, but what could it be? I liked how you had Preacher James trying to explain it all, while Jacob tried to stop him. Definitely could see that happening and again was reminded of the three male role models Jacob had in his life in that moment.

Loved the part with the tree and Preacher James showing her the mark on his back—I love how you’ve brought that back into the story! I’ve been so curious about it! I think it looks a lot like one of the images we see in the opening credits but that’s just me. So she’s part of the tree, the tree in Arcadia? But what does that tree mean? What part does she have in it? There are still so many questions! Another terrific moment between Jacob and Preacher James, with the asking for water and Jacob saying how he wasn’t a guest in this house and revisiting the last time that he had been there. It sound like it was when Rachel was born or maybe it was a time after that, either way I really liked the way you wrote that discussion. There are some really strong, painful, and even hateful feelings between Jacob and Preacher James, mostly with Jacob feeling this way towards Preacher James. However it seems it’s from things that happened in the past, and while still painful, they might need to work together to save their futures.

Hearing about the gash on Preacher James back was a shock and I was curious to hear more about it. Marty created that gash, he cut off a bloodline? But who’s his own? The Langstons? Maybe the character’s? And Preacher James killed Marty?! No! BRILLIANT work in writing that scene, I loved Jacob urging him to say and admit what he’d done and the it’s revealed Preacher James killed Marty and brought him back…as a child! NO. WAY! Poor Marty and poor Marty’s family too, his kids and wife? Wife possibly Maggie? We haven’t seen or heard from her or Fred at all, wonder where they are.

And more big bombshells! MARTY CHOSE THAT AGE TO COME BACK AS! SERIOUSLY? THEY CAN DO THAT! But why would he pick that age if he had his family? He doesn’t seem to have retained any of his memories from when he was older but maybe Marty chose this young age for a reason, a reason that some how deals with Nathaniel? I love the new thing you’ve added about how the Returned could choose their age, well if they brought back by someone like Preacher James. That is very interesting and cool to read! I also really liked the part where we learn that Preacher James also tried to bring back Henry and Lucille but they didn’t trust him, Jacob’s reaction was perfect! LOVED that!

I’m glad the character brought the topic back to the gash on Preacher James back and asked more questions about it, who’s bloodline had been cut and why. Absolutely LOVED how you wrote Preacher James response, I swear I felt like I was watching the show! So the cut bloodline was Rachel and Nathaniel’s but why? Why was that cut? Was it being cut part of what made Nathaniel so dangerous now? I’m glad Rachel is still alive, nice add in about Jacob still being able to feel her. And we also find out that Marty’s family is safe with the government lady, whether his wife is Maggie or not I’m glad they’re safe. Interesting how Jacob told Preacher James not to provoke him after he made that comment about Jenny being taken care of by the government lady too, does he not think Marty’s family is really safe? Maybe it’s comment about Jenny that made Jacob upset.

Don’t blame the character for getting ready to leave with all that tension in that room but both of the men wanted her to stay. Very powerful moment when Jacob explains why Preacher James is right and how he now hates him. Again the reply from Preacher James when he talks about the past, especially that BAM with the hand clap was perfectly in character! Brilliant stuff there!

More incredibly intense and extremely well written stuff in the part that followed, Preacher James reminding Jacob that Marty is no longer in charge, he’s just a kid, Jacob in the man now even at such a young age. He’s forces Jacob to decide if he wants his help or not and it’s the last time he’s going to make this offer but after all that Preacher James has done, to Marty alone I can understand Jacob not being willing to trust him, even saying how they’d be better off. Another bit I loved was the add in about Preacher James not aging and how it meant he knew much more than the others—this I thought fit really really well with his character!

Wonderfully written moment when Jacob does start reaching for his hand but then pulls away and tells him to get out of his house. This of course upsets Preacher James a lot, he says that Jacob is like him and Jacob forces him to say Marty’s name—loved that part there! I think Jacob has no problem being seen like Marty but the blind woman seems to have other thoughts. She steps in and tells them they need to put the past aside, good advice since that is what was holding them back, and how Preacher James is needed in this. Great details about her eyes too and the serious of the moment was terrific too. Preacher James doesn’t seem to know who the woman is or at least he doesn’t recognize her because she says he knows who she is, again this just makes me feel like it’s Margaret! I’m probably totally way off but I had to say it! Lol

The closing line from the blind woman was great! A brilliant way to close up this chapter and get us ready for the next one! :D

Fantastic work once more! I so enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading more and will be doing so soon! Only one more to go and then I’ll be caught up for the finale! :D So exciting! Till then keep up the terrific work!

Another incredible entry!

We’re not back in Arcadia at the Langston home—Yay! But it’s not as warm and family centered as I remember it. There’s been lots of changes in these years that have passed and so far none of them seem very good or happy. Still you wrote all about them in such a wonderful way, it was very crisp and clear, short but with enough details to not only paint a few pictures but fill me with some strong emotions as well.

I’m glad that the character made the choice to stay with Jacob and Jenny because she felt safe with Jenny. Really liked that first paragraph where she felt so peaceful, finally able to sleep in a bed again but knew that the worst was yet to come. The mention of the blind woman and her being so quiet where the character even thinks that the blidn woman doesn’t like her, this just reminds me of Margaret and I’m still wondering if this could be her and if it’s not, what’s happened to her?

The part with the listening in on the meeting was great! I felt like I was right there overhearing this stuf and not getting the full picture but still getting great deals of information. The talk about the fight makes me think there is a war going on, but maybe it’s not against the living and the returned. It actually sounds more serious and though she doesn’t want to fight, she’s going to have to. Their fighting against Nathaniel! Oh my gosh! Is that Rachel and Tom’s baby Nathaniel? Well he’d be 16 or so now but, THAT Nathaniel is who they are at war with? THAT’S why they said before that Preacher James was right! HE WAS EVIL! It’s all coming together! LOVE this!

Oh and I so loved the paragraph of her standing by Henry and Lucille’s room. The details there were so very well done and you could really feel a sense of sadness or an empty, missing kind of feeling hanging there in their air. Before I could think to much about that though, Jacob makes a comment about Marty and how Preacher James had done something unforgivable to him! But what? AND then we find out! Marty is a young boy! Holy cow I did not see that coming! Did Preacher James somehow Deage him? Or is this a child who’s been named after Marty and Preacher James did something terrible to the Marty we know? I’m thinking it may be the deaging thing right? But how did he do that! So very curious about that!

The next part with the character and Jacob was so magnificently done! I could see older Jacob perfectly, still with that sense of young Jacob but he also has a lot of Henry, Fred, and even Marty in him. The talk about family was pretty sad, hearing the character say how her family was so unlike Jacob, helped explained why she was looking at the photos in the bedroom in sort of a longing way. Terrific detail about Jacob being shocked that she’d left her family, his family was loving and close I’m sure he couldn’t imagine leaving them because he wanted to.

Interesting comment about the character’s age, I wonder how old they are. Teenager maybe? Or early twenties? It’s sad that she was murdered but at least her killer is gone…OH! That was the man she saw die in the early chapters wasn’t it?! Oh my gosh! Seriously all the pieces are falling into place and I LOVE how you’re not really connecting them for us but instead giving us the pieces and allowing us to connect them! It’s like watching the show! Another very interesting comment when she said that she didn’t kill her murder, at least she thinks she didn’t. Does she maybe have come kind of power like Jacob has to sense the other Returned? Hmm…

Great moment when she tells him that she doesn’t want to fight and he says she doesn’t have a choice. I think that shows how serious this all is. Could it also be that if she does have powers they need them to help them fight Nathaniel? I’m also very curious to find out what exactly Preacher James did to Marty, it sounds pretty bad the way Jacob doesn’t want to talk about it. It’s kinda good that Preacher James is coming over but at the same time not so much, that guy I just don’t know how to feel about him! Lol Yes, he brought back Henry but look at all the other creepy weird stuff that happened with him!

And speaking of Henry…oh my gosh. The next part of the scene, holy cow. I loved it but it tugged on my heart strings SOOO much! The part where Jacob was staring at the photo of his parents and the tears forming in his eyes, I just wanted to reach in and hug him. Jacob really did have a close relationship with his parents. He loved them and they loved him dearly and so again it’s such a shock to him to hear that the character’s family was bad. And it really did sound like it from the story she told. I really like that they both shared some bits about their family, both were very sad but of course for very different reasons.

Jacob’s though, oh my gosh. I love Henry and Lucille, as a couple and on their own so hearing that story of what happened to them was so incredibly heartbreaking and nearly had me in tears as well. I absolutely LOVELOVELOVED the direction that you took it though! Because all this time I’ve always thought that one day Henry and Jacob were going to disappear and Lucille would be left alone but you switched things completely! And it was even sadder than that image of what I thought could happen! Lucille dying and then not returning, so very sad but I can’t help but wonder how she died, was it the virus? Or something to do with Nathaniel? Henry not being able to live without her…I read that line and it was like a knife in the heart. Poor Henry! And then Jacob! Oh gosh, poor Jacob! I could sooo see Henry asking for Jacob’s permission to let go and Jacob giving him that permission after what I’m sure was a very heavy and moving talk, oh gosh just thinking about it makes me teary eyed. The way Jacob described watching Henry disappear though, the way he must have stayed there with Henry while it happened, all of that was so heartrending and sad and so incredibly well written! Bravo!

Then when Jacob says that she’s different that he and Jenny could tell, that was very intriguing. She doesn’t know why she’s different and neither to do we you can bet I’m looking forward to finding out! Interesting to hear that she felt connected to Arcadia even though she had never remembered being there or remembered her parents mentioning it. Was she adopted maybe like Marty? Maybe her days of youth that she remembers so fondly took place in Arcadia?

Some really great scenes you painted as you closed up the chapter. Jacob in Henry’s study, Jenny taking care of Marty. These two kids really aren’t kids anymore are they? And even though they’re still young with everything going on it seems like they’d had to grow up a lot faster. I really loved the part about the question Preacher James bring, how she wonders if they can really trust him or if it’s a ploy. And the very end of the story with the closing paragraph was nicely done a great recap of all that happened in this chapter, reminding us of the questions we still have. What is this war about? When will it happen? Are they ready? And what makes the character so different? Great questions! Can’t wait to find out some of the answers too!

Wonderful work on this once more! I so enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading more and hope to do so soon! Till then keep up the very brilliant work!

Wonderful work on this next entry! We got a few questions answered but some still have me wondering. I really enjoyed this chapter because it reminded me SO much of the book! I’m still surprised you haven’t read it and we got to see a familiar face from the show!

It sounds like the place that the character was taken to is a lot like the government facility in the show. However it might be even worse than that place. The Black Room does not sound like a good place, especially since no one is seen again after going in there. It actually reminds me of a room used in the book but I won’t say much more about it, just that the feel that you’ve given the place where the Returned are being kept here reminded me a lot of the place that we read about in the book! Really nice job there!

I’m glad that the diary was returned to it’s owner after sometime although it’s sad to think about the reason why the diary was suddenly given back. Their time in the Black Room was coming.

Yay! Jenny! I was so happy to see her name pop into the story and I loved hearing that she was comforting the main character as best as she could. Jenny’s grown up though it seems, in her twenties or so that’s nice to see. It never really occurred to me that the story might be taking place in the future but no I can’t wait to see what is going on with the rest of the characters and the rest of Arcadia. Jenny mentioned Marty and how he was still there, glad to hear that! But there might be some sad story to that tpp, I hope nothing too serious has happened to Marty. And what about the others, Jacob and Henry? It sounded like Jenny also mentioned Preacher James, when she said that the Preacher was right, but right about what?

The Blind Woman is also an interesting character, she doesn’t talk much but is left alone and a major character that is maybe with Jenny? I wonder if maybe she’s Margaret or Lucille? Who’s lost her sight somehow? I know she had blonde hair though, maybe it’s a disguise? I’m not sure but I think she may be very important as well.

A heartbreaking scene that was written so wonderfully when they came to get the character but Jenny stood in front to defend them. Yay! But someone had to go to the black room and it turned out to be another woman. The description of that woman being dragged off was so sad. A very deep and even moving paragraph where the character talks about death and how even though they died before this time they really would die and how that was different but at the same time they were okay with that, poor thing almost sounds like they’re giving up because they feel like there’s nothing that they can do. But maybe they’re wrong!

The ending part of the chapter was so intense and had me at the edge of my seat as they hurried out of the place they were being held. All the running, over the bodies and past the Black Room, and the gunfire! What is going on? Has the virus started a war? It looks like they are safe though, being with other Returned and the very end where Jenny ran to the man who was the Returned group’s leader, I assumed it was Marty but I couldn’t help but be really happy when it was Jacob’s name that she had said instead. Yay Jacob!

Terrific work on this once more! I so enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading more and hope to do so soon! Till then keep up the very great work!

And another very well done chapter!

It sounds like things have gotten worse, not only for the character but all over as well. This virus must be even more serious than before or maybe it’s not a virus, I’m still trying to figure it all out. You’re definitely keeping me on my toes!

You created some very chilling images of everything being locked up and no one being to on the streets. Everyone seems to be hiding or at least this main character is. I loved how you slowly wrote in why she was hiding, and how you didn’t exactly tell us what it was exactly what had her hiding but gave us enough detail to figure it out. She’s hiding the fact that she’s a Returned. No one else knows but her and a man…the man she saw die?

The stuff showing on the news was very interesting and gave us a look at what was going on in Arcadia. Riots and now it’s the living that are disappearing? The Returned seem to be who people think are the enemy but are they really? And what’s this about flu shot and riots? Really curious about this all but I know it’ll be revealed and answered soon enough :)

Terrific writing in that action packed scene where the character’s neighbor was taken away by the black vans…the government maybe? I think I remember seeing them with the government people from the show. Wondering when we’ll see others from the show too. Great work in writing how scared they were and hiding in the dark, wanting to go unseen unfound but they do find her and they know she’s a returned but how? And most importantly exactly where are they taking them?

Wonderful work once more! I really enjoyed reading it! I look forward to reading more and hope to do so soon! Till then keep up the very fabulous work!

This second chapter was another wonderful chapter!

All the talk about wearing a surgical like mask was very interesting and of course makes me more curious. Why do they have to wear the mask? There’s some kind of outbreak, is it like the virus from before? Or is it that same virus and this is someone who we didn’t see on screen?

I really liked how a lot of focus was not on the why they had to wear the mask but rather how it made this person feel. To me it made it feel more like a diary entry as they wrote about their feelings of the mask. You did a great job at writing those feelings too! And the recalls of things that have happened to her, the looks she gets and being cursed at.

The ending about hating their job again reminded me of a real diary entry but I wonder if there’s more to it. Maybe there’s a reason that they hate their job? Maybe they are supposed to be doing something else? I’m eager to find out!

Terrific work again! I really did enjoy reading this! I’ll be back to read more soon, till then keep up the great work!

So I have been meaning to read this story for a while now and I apologize for not getting to it sooner but if it makes you feel better as I read this chapter I actually regretted not reading it sooner!

Great work on this first chapter!

You really grabbed my interest and have me curious about so much! Who is this character? It sounds like they may be a returned, one that we’ve met? It sounds like they had a pretty dark background, not close with family, a relationship with a man who held her down, maybe in a physical way?

It’s interesting to hear that when she returned she managed to just slip into the world as if she hadn’t been gone, people probably just saw her as someone new in town and no one recognized her and she didn’t have anyone to return to. It’s actually pretty sad too.

And the last part was really nicely written but again makes me wonder what’s going on and why are others scared? Other Returned? The ‘True Living’? Who is scared and why?

I really like the pov stuff and how it’s in a diary entry focused on this one character. I’m curious to see who they are and her interaction with other characters from the show.

Nice work once again! I really enjoyed it! I look forward to reading more and I hope to so soon! Till then keep up the very good work!

This story takes place 16 years after the finale. I did not want to follow in the footsteps of killer children like in "Falling Skies," "Extant," and even "Sleepy Hollow." With that said, this is just a variation, my take on what happens next, and there is a reason why Marty is twelve. That gash he made on the preacher's back means something, something that we shall discover in the last two chapters to come.

Where is Lucille and Henry and Fred? I hope we see them soon. Also why is Marty a kid? Is the pov part Maggie?