Hi! I know it's been a very long time since this was written, so I understand my comments might no longer be applicable, so I apologize in advance.

You said constructive criticism was welcomed, so these are just my thoughts. I also don't want you to think that I hate your story or that I'm trying to flame you because I'm not.

Anyways
1) I would avoid putting author's notes within the actual story itself, as it interrupts the flow and pulls the reader out of the world you're trying to create.

2) be careful of your tenses. there are places where you switch between present tense and past tense and sometimes it can be a bit confusing, but all in all this is a minor thing since it's 90% consistent for the most part.3) the biggest things that I think would help your writing from the chapters I've read so far is to work on using active voice instead of passive, varying your sentence structures more, and be more creative with your exposition. For example, most of your sentences are "blank did blank" andthis was like this, or did that" and while it's effective, it can also get boring very quickly and feel a bit choppy.

In one chapter your said something like "Juvia was beginning to get jealous". A more descriptive option might be something like "a twinge of jealousy pinged Juvia's heart at their quick friendship, and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Lucy"
Or like when the kitchen and food was being described, something like this might be a bit more engagingthe table, cherry painted white to look like ivory, nearly groaned under the feast Lucy had prepared for her new housemates".

In other words, things and people DOING actions rather than being acted UPON and using actions of characters to portray for they're feeling sometimes instead of saying it flat out. . Sorry! This was a really long note, and I think I have more things to add later so I do apologize again.I've been told before that I can come off as conceited or even condescending and I really, really hope I've avoided that because it's never, ever my intent!Anyways, thanks so much for sharing and I look forward to seeing where this story goes!

epilogue! epilogue! epilogue! epilog-

Making Gray cry I believe it's a bit over dramatic. Also I find it difficult happening for Natsu to trust another girl after this break up so easy. I mean he only knows her for what, two days? And didn't even spoke to her that much. What I'm trying to say is that it's not very realistic

if someone promised to me like that I would 1. Laugh my ass off, 2. most definitely say yes

was...was that a chicken little reference?

AWW! That was so sweet! Loved it!

one of the best fanfics._

Random question- if Gray and Juvia went to the school Lucy goes to which is a park away from Fairy Tail Uni, how do they not know Lucy and not have somewhere else to live? Like at home, where I’m presuming they lived during high school.

Hey. This is a cool story, but those random little authors notes are really unnecessary. It takes away from the flow of the story. You can do that at the end of the chapter if you really want to. Nobody really cares if you don't know what to put as food (I don't mean it in a bad way, but it's like making a mistake in a dance recital and announcing it to the whole audience). Also, just the way Lucy is characterized, that type of food doesn't really gel with the character. Anyway have a nice day. Also I didn't mean anything bad by this, I just wanted to give you some constructive criticism (and I'm sorry I'm giving all these disclaimers, it's just that I've had tooooo many times when people got all sensitive when I tried to help). It's totally up to you if you wanna use it, it's just a helpful suggestion ok bye now :

PLOT

Gray with tears smiling is just really cute u know what u mean

Oh gray

It isn't funny?

1. i really like this story 2. a couple of these reviewers are trolls. ur great

Magic