Dat pretty neat ;)

Cool it looks good

Could be longer story, though descriptions are okay.

Try making the chapters longer...MUCH LONGER, I'd say about 2000-3000 words? More spaces between lines, dont just make it a big block of text. Bit of a longer summary. Try rewriting the chapter. I'm new to fanfiction writing too, so thats all I can give, but here is the best advice I can give anyone, that people have given me. Write what you want, it doesnt matter what people say, if you enjoy writing, it will make it much more fun. Have fun, I hope to see more, this is a pretty good concept, dont try to make it too much like the Halo : Reach game, or it'll just be Halo Reach, with Naruto added in.

Block of text, therefore didn't bother reading closely. Punctuation inadequate, no pauses in text. If this is what you write, if this is the standard at which you write, then I feel sorry for your teacher, 'cause you're giving him/her a bad name.