Mai being bossy is amazing. I love that she was able to distract him into dropping the dishes too.

Having him lift the pond was so cool! That would be beautiful to see.

Love the bit with Naru drinking.

I forgot about Satou! What a creep. I’m surprised Madoka didn’t rip Naru a new one for yelling at her. He deserves to be yelled at for being an ass lol. I love that Mai has taken the initiative to improve her astral projecting. She is so adaptable and resilient!

I love hearing from Nauru’s point of view in this chapter. I’m still angry for Mai though!

I hated Naru so much in this chapter. He knew it was her first time and how emotional she is and still acted like it meant nothing. It was one of the only times I ever wanted Mai to end up with an OC, because how could he be that horrible to her after everything. Sorry for the realllly late review. I’ve finally realized what a jerk I’ve been for not reviewing like I should before now so I’m going to try to make it up to you slowly. I don’t know how great these reviews will be as I do not have your creativity and some will likely just be that was great or loved it or something else as lame but I do truly mean it. Your writing is incredible.

Okay, so I am home from work and not trying to write up reviews on my phone during breaks. So this is gonna be a long one.

One thing I want to clarify from previous review in using the word desperation. Desperation in that frantic, searching for water in the desert desperation...not depraved desperation. If that helps, lol.

There are many lines that really stick with me from this story. Chapter 14 and 15 are the two chapters that really drag me back each time. The line in chapter 15 "Naru cursed himself silently for not learning to read kanji. He could not read the names of his own children on the gravestone." is incredible and striking. It makes me just die inside every time I read it. It's the line that sent me sifting through pages and pages of GH fics for hours trying to find the story the second time I was driven to read it.

You do an absolutely fantastic job of drawing the emotion out in a scene.

And I thoroughly enjoy the journey the Mai and Naru take to get back to each other after losing the twins. It isn't a simple snip-snap, they're back. Naru must still be Naru...but he's fighting his battle. And Mai's guilt and shame ring so true and realistic to a woman in losing a child during pregnancy.
Naru pushes a little too hard at times, as he is wont to do.

The side struggles that the other characters face meld nicely with the rest of the story line. They don't detract from Mai and Naru's own struggle, but it strengthens your portrayal of Mai, as even as she fights her own battles, she still is the empathetic Mai we know when she lends her heart and self to Ayako and Madoka in their troubles.

God I hope this is all making sense. XD I did just re-read this within the past month, but I struggle to put words to my thoughts.

I really really enjoy your writing and your portrayals, faithfulness to the characters...and as weird as it may sound, your diction. I'm American, so your British terms are a thrill to read.

That's all I can think of at this time for this story, but maybe you'll look forward to future reviews from me?

-Maze

(I signed in for the first time in YEARS, just for you, lol.)

Okay, so this one! At the moment, it's gotta be my favorite (heartbreaking) story. I've read it three times (!) and each time the desperation of Naru's "I can pretend to be Gene for you" line in chapter 2 gets me. It's haunting and breaks my heart for him. It drives home the secret insecurity that he holds within that we only ever see hints of in the show and manga.

The overall theme of desperation within the story, while maintaining true character performance, makes this a story I can keep coming back to.

There's a line in another chapter, later on, that I want to address, so I'll certainly be back for that one, but work calls, so away I must go.

-Maze Puppet

Bro,...why?

hiya! whoa, thanks to you i finally back to love the precious ship here (narumai choo choo!) i love this story so much, thanks for writing this~

That was wonderful! I love all of your story's, even if a lot of them are sad. Keep up the great work! I look forward to your next book!

Just curious. Did you use himeko as a shootout to the car with the well. Want that the kidnapped daughters name?

Thank you for the nice chapter, it helped a lot.

I know you were sad while writing it, but you still can't do that! I have a soft spot for twins, and this hit me really hard! Especially the way they went! Sorry, just had to get that out.

This was second to top on my 'Cry over fictional characters' list...T~T