Consider me gutted. This was beautifully, perfectly stark.

"the only Reaper who chooses to sow" is probably the deepest Mass Effect thing I have ever heard/read!

That was probably the most brilliant treatment of the ultimate consequences of the Control ending that I've read so far! Well done on this!

I'm nearly speechless, this was really beautiful and haunting. I have a fondness for the Control ending and this really made justice to its possibilities.

Wow. Powerful and insightful as only you can write it. "I will sing for my children, for my sister, for the woman I once was."

"...digital tears of neon blue in pulsing trickles of light..."

"I am a god and a ghost. I am an insignificant speck in the boundless reaches." I can see her sailing in the sea of night, alone in the midst of her 'children' and it is a breathtaking vision.

There is so much grace and poignancy to this piece. It reminds me, in some ways of Anne McCaffrey's "The Ship..." series and is moving beyond words.

Oh suil. I ... holy cow, I'm speechless. The flow of thought over time, from the most efficient and mechanical to recognizing the power of the Rachni Queen's song and taking that burden from her when she dies. Not human protectiveness and maternal instinct, but something deep and stirring and uniquely Shepard's (Shepherd's).

Every word is thoughtful, careful, stirring, and perfect.

Amazing. Beautiful, simple and perfectly written.

This is haunting piece. I'm not sure how else to describe it. Perhaps simply "excellent"? For one thing, it's very well written. Your prose is very exact and nuanced, but also poetic, and I especially liked the wordplay in which you occasionally indulged: "Shepard" to "Shepherd" and, of course, "the only Reaper who chooses to sow." I particularly relished that last line.

What interests me about this story most is that it perfectly illustrates the reason I was never able to choose the Control ending in ME3. While it does seem to be the happiest ending for all involved (everyone lives, the galaxy is rebuilt, no one has to be turned into a newly evolved form of syncretic life), the prospect of becoming this kind of lonely god is too terrible to fathom. It seems to me that it is within Shepard's nature for her to sacrifice herself like this (paragon Shepard, anyway), but I couldn't imagine anyone actually making that decision.

It's fascinating to me that your portrayal of Shepard becoming a god comes across like a description of eternal torment. And the story's conclusion remains bitter, even after meeting someone who understands her, mortality again swallows up this new friend and leaves the Shepherd god alone. I actually expected when I started reading this story that you may be able to find a way for Shepard to come to terms with her lonely and terrible position, but I was both impressed and a little grieved that you opted not to try for that. In the end, she must bear it because she must, she has no choice any longer. Perhaps Shepard becoming a god was truly a fate worse than death, and immortality is the only thing more terrible than mortality. (Or perhaps I read Hyperion a bit too recently...). I don't think that was your intent with the story, but that is the sentiment it inspired in me while I read it.

That the story ends where it begins helps reinforce that Shepard really is eternal. You managed to pack quite a bit into a small piece. In summation, I greatly enjoyed this and found it very thought-provoking. Great work!

Thursday

Beautifully written, as usual! Your prose is so poetic, so smooth flowing; there are no superfluous or ill-fitting sentences anywhere. It's just... beautiful.

I have to say I was a little hesitant to read the story, since I avoid tragedies and Control is not an ending I would have chosen, but you made this scenario actually interesting, and, while sad, also very, very uplifting.

For example, I really liked the glimpse of the peaceful future this ending could achieve:

"I cherished them. The luminous asari, I encouraged their pursuit of knowledge and beauty. The strategic minds of the turians—I sought their aid in managing the needs and shared resources of the many races. While the quarians developed innovative technologies and agricultural methods, the salarians advanced our medical knowledge. The krogan colonized the empty worlds, finding peace in the familial life long denied to them. The humans built new classes of star ships to explore farther into the reaches of space than anyone had gone before."

It was really such a hopeful vision of how each race could contribute to the advancement of galactic civilization - with cooperation, not war. It also illuded, in just a few sentences, to the strength of each of these races. And I especially liked that the krogan colonized empty worlds instead of conquering already established ones.

I'm glad you didn't mention any lost love with Garrus or any other love interest, because that would have been heartbreaking. This way I can imagine that this Shepard did not condemn a lover to eternal heartbreak by leaving him/her behind.

The kinship with the rachni queen was wonderful, and this was heartwrenching and heartwarming at once:

"But, her time was finite, and mine was not.

When her voice weakened and fell silent, the absence was a sudden and profound ache. My sister in solitude, the only other being in all the universe who'd understood. I knew now why the absence of sound drove her children to madness."

And

"I began to sing, gathering my new children into the flock with the others. They are all my children, and I will sing my life into them until I, too, am no more."

And just one more thing to mention: I thought the fact that "some sought to worship" Reaper Shepard was a very nice touch. I can absolutely imagine that that would happen.

Beautiful story!

"I was no longer Shepard, but Shepherd. I tended my flock; I kept them safe from harm. While they frolicked, slept, and loved, while they lived and died, while they evolved and changed, I kept up my unending watch over the darkness of space that surrounded them. No lambs strayed. No wolves stalked their shadows."

Pretty speechless here. Rarely do I get goosebumps, or feel my eyes sting while reading, but this... All the emotions right here, with a dollop of hope for the future thanks to her isolation. I can't even pick out my favorite bits because every word has meaning and imagery and emotion. Truly a wonderful piece. I love it.

"I told her of my children, of my purpose, and she wove my memories into a symphony that moved me in a way I had never before experienced. I felt something I could not define, that I could not break down into the output of thousands of calculations.

Kinship."

- Brilliant.

" I would weep for her if I could: digital tears of neon blue in pulsing trickles of light; a burning aura that lingers like a blurred apparition at the edges of one's vision after the initial brightness has faded."

i don't even know what to say about this line, but it "sings" to me, as she sings to her children.

"I am the Shepherd and Shepard, the only Reaper who chooses to sow."

Just...wow, Suilven. I adore this story so very much.

I know I mentioned it during the beta read, but I have to say it again: this was beautiful, sad, and haunting all at the same time. You could see the mortal Shepard within the immortal Shepherd. Her intentions after the Control ending were to benefit all, but ultimately not herself (itself? :p ). Yes, she claimed that she had no feelings, wants, or desires, but she ultimately did understand that she possessed those things after the rachnai queen stopped singing.

All the power in the universe, and Shepard is utterly alone. No companion, no equal. One wonders if she, too, will eventually allow her children to rise against her when she no longer wishes to be immortal... but that's a whole other AU story there. :p

For such a short story, it had a big impact. I loved it! :)

I hardly know what to say... So sad, and so beautiful. Breaks my heart to think of Shepard, forever so lonely . *sobs*

Very nicely done. Love how the story comes full circle with Reaper!Shepard's transformation-and that (of course) it's the truly alien, non-anthropomorphic race that could become the kindred soul to her current incarnation.

Spot on with the tone too. I was imagining the voiceover the whole time I was reading.

Oh, Suilven... I am moved more than I can say. This totally transcends the usual implications of the Control ending, makes it so much more... It's so good to have you back, dear.

This was really good.

I always find the control ending very fascinating especially in how it can be interpreted.

The idea of Shepard becoming the Shepherd was ingenious. I thought you wrote her very well and kept her true to her new role while also reflecting on who she once was.

The comparison of Shepard with the Rachni queen was very creative

You wove a wonderfully descriptive brief look into a post control galaxy.

Thanks for sharing,

-Spectre4hire