You could make it a little longer. This story was good. It doesn't surprise me that Ash was being very dense in this story. When it comes to romance, Ash is an idiot. Wow! The kiss lasted for a few minutes. Serena must really love Ash. That was a long one. She's very good at flirting. She's very flirtatious.

Short and sweet. Nice.

I liked the flow of events as they seemed plausible in the context of the anime.

Awww so cute I liked it this was perfect I could see this in the anime if they were to do it! Excellent!

Hello! It was a really cute story. Although I believe that yes, It was kind of short, but I think it was the perfect length for this idea. It wont be necessary to extend this very much.
I dont see anything that you can improve in this story, it was really good in general, congratulations for that! I hope you can upload more stories of this style.
I wish you good luck in all of your future projects in this site, Im looking forward for view those soon!
See ya!

Wow, 100% awesome. I really hope there's a second chapter as I was getting into this... :)