pretty good, but you need to work on the grammer, it gets me confused sometimes. Other than that, THIS IS AWESOME

WHY KAI WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY *slaps jay in ze face*

Jay: nice to see u too

:O :O *says nothing else cause is too overwhelmed and confused* :D

Hm...

The storyline is getting a bit generic.
You still need to work on your spelling and grammar.

Also, it just turns out that a random woman walking around has hit it off with Jay, is Lloyd's twin, etc

No offense, but I got seriously bored in the middle of reading.

awesome new chapter at least jaycee reconciled with her birth mother also poor lloyd what will he say when he meets his sister?

Since you reviewed my late story I'll review yours as payback.

Pretty good story ideas, since Zane/Nya are generally hard to make...

The only thing you really need to work on is spelling and grammar.
It's extremely important in the career of a writer, so you should use a text editor that has auto correct or spellcheck.
Besides, it's even stated in the FF rules the work must have good spelling and grammar.
Just saying.
Also, for your Evil!Jay thing, how did you get the idea for his new name...?

I don't really catch on to new nicknames, especially when they don't fit the character...

lol I feel like I am under cover when typing this I did such a good job typing this chapter I am starting on chapter 4 right now

Thanks for the review:)

kai is dead that is sad also who is Victoria?