Pg 61... Hell hath no fury like a woman who’s been terrorized and tortured by her one true love.

Pg. 61, Paragraph 8... Proof that verbal and mental abuse does more damage than physical abuse.

Pgs. 62-64... great scene, well written.

Pg. 65... wow... what a roller coaster that ended up being... it’s chapters like this that make me want to read an entire book in one sitting... the ending? Beautiful. “Only dark shadows... and light.” Sheer brilliance.

My favorite part... the mention of Maggie in their beloved coffee shop. It seems ever so long ago that I was rooting for them!

Pgs. 58-60... Wow, the massive amount of emotional turmoil they are each going through jumps off the pages!

Pg. 55 Paragraphs 1-3... awesome build up, tension, apprehension, Barnabas’ inner turmoil! Great!

Pg. 56 Paragraph 8... I absolutely love the contrast of Josette’s softness as she prepares the punishment she intends to inflict upon Barnabas it has a Jack Nicholson Shining or Kathy Bates Misery type feel to it.

Pg. 57... Seriously. You need to be writing psychology thrillers. You have a true talent for it, girlfriend.

Pg 49 – Foreword – glad you included that as a reminder of Willie’s connection to Josette and Barnabas.

Pgs 49-50 – Maggie talking to Willie is both intense and heartwarming, despite what he went through Willie still wants to help Maggie as much as he can.

Pg 54 – What an intense chapter – Maggie realizing how much Willie had changed – then coming to form a plan to start to repair the damage done long ago – girlfriend ain’t playin’ around now.

Pg 45 – first four paragraphs – wow! I can feel Josette’s inner turmoil jumping off the page… very well written. Pg 46 – top 6 paragraphs – the first part of this chapter pulls you in… makes you want to keep reading. Pg. 47 – first 3 paragraphs - *speechless*, so very, very good… steamy, emotional, and painful (not physical) so much love, hurt, and turmoil (internal)… amazing how you packed so much into such a brief section.

Pg 48 – end of chapter 11 – I’m confused as to what Josette will say/do with Willie… I have this happen a lot when I’m reading though…

Pg. 42, paragraph 2 – Well written, I could feel the anguish and turmoil. Pg. 43 – I completely share Dr. Hoffman’s confusion and concern with regards to Barnabas’ theory that Maggie needs to physically punish him. Pg. 44, paragraph 1 – Sarah fading away saddens me, and warms my heart all at the same time. Pg. 44 Conclusion – Trouble in Paradise… long haul ahead… I can already feel the drama, raw emotion and heaviness.

Pg. 39 – With Barnabas satisfying all 3 women within Maggie… will he survive?! :) *wink, wink*

Pg. 40- Last paragraph – Powerful ending to a great chapter.

Pg. 34, Paragraph 2 – Lady Hampshire? – Love the name, not sure I remember it from “The Pit” or chapters 1 – 7.

Pg. 34 – Great writing, love the idea of Barnabas calling Maggie “Kitty” when her feistiness shows.

Pg. 35, Paragraph 2 – Love the explanation of how “Kitty” though dead, can still be felt and acknowledged when emotions and/or passion is at high levels.

Pg. 35, Paragraph 4 – invoked literal eerie chills in me.

Pg. 36, Paragraph 1 – Thank goodness for Dr. Julia!

Pg 31 I am enjoying the camaraderie between Willie and Wadsworth! Backgammon is a great game choice for them!

Pg 32 Paragraph 11: I laughed out loud literally when Willie suggested getting some cows to come home!

Pg 33 Paragraph 7: Wadsworth hinting that Dr. Hoffman should prescribe a sedative is too funny.

Pg 33 Paragraph 15: Love that Wadsworth, Willie, and Dr. Hoffman go out for drinks to get a break from Barnabas & Josette’s amorous adventures! Such a fun outing this promises to be!

I like the mention of the grey in Tony's hair. It's nice to see him get any mention at all, considering the unceremonious vanishing from the original show that was imposed on him. It's poignantly painful to hear of her noticing the changes in Pop w/ the decade that has passed. Not to neglect our cherished brood, but to protect them-a very good point, and one that I don't see used enough in vampire fiction. Should I point out things as nitpicking as grammatical typos? I know that can be extremely annoying. Still, though, I'll take the risk and note that if you're revising this at some point, it should be changed to "She and I" instead of "Her and I" in discussing our heroine and Angelique and their blossoming friendship (which is very cool to read about). Good point about the sea air's potential impact on their gardening. I love the line about the blueberries in the summertime, and how that's the best part of all. A very pleasant moment with Barnabas winking! I like the image of David's raised eyebrow-it definitely seems very him. Now, here's a phrasing that seemed a bit odd to me: "the nearest Rest Area in the house." Somehow it does seem a bit out of place to me, as if it's an actual roadside rest area like we find along highways. Ah, Barnabas' extreme sensitivity-yes, that is definitely him, poor fellow. And, oh, the uniform dexterity of putting his foot into his mouth-now, that is beautifully put! I like the adult that David has matured into being. His vision of the future of continually having to sign new birth certificates for them is amusing indeed!

I find Maggie's observations of her and Barnabas' immortality vs. everybody's immortality was kind of deep. The vampire couple's choice in living as immortal makes them stand out with a purpose, but at the same time, creates a sadness that the people whom they know and love are aging and will soon perish. Ah, I love the line: "a vampire cursed, a vampire cured and then a vampire blessed," which is a true statement of him. So, who will take over in signing new birth certificates for the four immortals of the household after David is gone? One of the children, perhaps? This was an interesting and contemplating chapter, Daryl. Keep up the good work!

Maggie pointing out all their commonalities in 1985. Happy marriages, children, family roots past and present and spanning generations together and living in the now. Their age old conflict is long gone and now they're friends and confidantes.

Maggie's plaintive concern for Pop's deteriorating physical and mental health. Naturally this causes Maggie pain considering their deep bond. But Maggie puts it in the perspective of Pop's mortality and that his ailments are a normal part of mortality.

Maggie mentioning Barnabas' extreme sensitivity not mellowing as the years pass. But she knows this is an innate part of his nature.

Caleb teasing Sarah for her academic struggles - how typical of Caleb! I love Quentin's sarcasm about his son and his own scholastic struggles when he was a boy.

Sarah's artistic talents make perfect sense as Maggie's and Barnabas' child. It seems so right.
I like how Angie points out the children possessing knowledge of their past lives as mortals and ghosts.

A wonderfully substantive and enlightening chapter, D.

xoxoxo,

M

For me Angelique and Josette could be a little icy with each other, but from one to another we should forgive and get along. (But-never-forget…) Just don’t want Josette getting used by Angelique. You know she always gets her way.

Good that Sarah is wanting to “fit in”. But her family is different. I don’t want her to forget what stock she came from. The Collins line is a good line and she should be proud!

For me with David teaching we have the getting used to the new teacher approach going on. Natural boy for Caleb to be getting Sarah’s “goat”. David is on top of it. We can’t have the children in control of the class. I do like David being the tutor. About time he could teach some good things to youngsters. Really enjoyed David’s way of telling all the parents they’d be around long after he was gone and could sign papers that they were their own offspring to make it legal.

You have not written anything that I don’t like. I hope in time people will get back to treating other people the way they want to be treated. This fussing and fighting gets us nowhere at all.

Pg 27 Paragraph 2: “At one point she turned and froze, her eyes almost black in the dwindling light, a probing gaze slicing my soul.” Whoa! Powerful Sentence! Awesome.

Pg 27 Paragraph 9: Love how the room (Josette’s room) has a whole new “look” and feel for Barnabas now that they are married and finally together.

Pg 28 Powerful buildup. Great writing!

Pg 29 They broke the bed?! I love it! Newlywed passion!

Pg 30 What a blissful ending to a hot, steamy chapter! Love the Madonna reference in the footnote.

Paragraphs 4-5, Page 21 The love shines through and I could feel Barnabas’ adoration for Josette on a level beyond the physical, all with just the simple act of his helping her dress and brush her hair. –

Paragraphs 3-4, Page 22 Excellent description and the theory of clothing being dishonest tickled me because I despise faux pockets and ineffectual buttons!

-Page 22, A simple walk as newlyweds and just when you think their connection couldn’t get any deeper or stranger… just like that, it does.

-Page 23, The reclaiming of painful locations giving it all a whole new meaning… I love this concept!

(-Page 25, Dare I say this page reflects your personal feelings against social media and new technology and your love and appreciation of your pen friendships? : ) )

-Chapter 5 is by far my favorite chapter up to this point… so much hope, faith & love, renewal, all things positive coming from such unpleasantness.