Other than a few typos I thought you were doing great. I hope you reconsider dropping this story. I'd love to see another chapter or two.

not bad shame you put it up for adoption

i love it

i love this this fantastic i need more

amazing i would love if you could make this into a book it would be in my opinion it would be a major seller

this is a horrible horrible thing to have happened! such a sad day when a glorious story is abandoned like this...sigh, it was fun while it lasted i guess.

dog bug. best. zergling. ever! XD i am so glad i decided to read this.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

...Damn...

Wow Brainwashing and hey i know it's a a hassle but can you create a Zerg Strain that is Humanoid or looked like Human?

It would be awesome if it looks like Shepard of Mass Effects Collector Armor or a Collector's appearance since it's kinda boring to see or read the Zerg's appearance since i already know and see it regularly from the game

Anyway about Dani's Appearance final form make it look like the Queen of Blades and it's nice chapter and more pls

Awesome.

You may want to label the beginning/start of this chapter as a flashback. At the minute it has no separation from the rest of the plot at all, nor does it even specify the change in the POV, that's definitely something that I would recommend changing. It makes it confusing and takes multiple re-reads to understand.

Anyway, for the minute I'm still happily following this fic, keep up the good work,

Best Regards,

Leez

P.S. Luna or Hermione for this fic I think. I can't wait to see more.

Hmm...the plot is okay, but it feel like this is the second part in a series that was never writen. Even if question like "how could the Zerg Hive came to be here" is ignored in favor of the crossover plot, there are still questions such as "how about Abataur know about Griffindor or wizard in general"?

Uhhh...not that I complain...but I think what most 12 year old girl would do in such situation would be scream like crazy and run in the opposite direction. Possibly bounced into the membrane and probably fell unconscious because of the force of the hit.

i don't really see the Abathur having feelings for Dani