I am Kolyaaa! I enjoy answering challenges, any kind of challenge. In fact, the more impossibly bad the challenge, the more likely I am to respond. I enjoy knives, poking people with them, and making things go boom. I also enjoy cows, insoluble riddles, loooong kayak rides against the current, moonlight strolls, cows, telemarketing and shaving horses – which I do the old fashioned way -- with a disposable Schick. I also lovepuppies – which taste like chicken when deep-fried. I like lizards.

I can whip you up a mean apple pie. Real mean. My apple pies are wanted for questioning by authorities in three states.

I am not dead