NOW ON FICTIONPRESS AS KING DOMINO III

Currently on hiatus due to lack of motivation. I'm going through a rough patch of life and fan fiction is another complication that I don't need. I'll still write and message, I'll just do it less.

CRINGE! Two years later, I've revisited this. It's bad. I'm reworking it. Thank you.

Hello, I'm King Domino III.

Feel free to ask me to drop a review on your story, I've got all the time in the world lots of time enough time to leave a few every night.

Some stuff about me

Favorite book: Anything that isn't cringy.

Gender: Isn't it obvious? "King" Domino?

Species: It depends. I swap around between draconian, feline, a bear, and human. Sorta like Chuck Norris in that one movie.

Favorite candy: 3 Musketeers, Twix, Kit-Kat, and Milky Way

Favorite food: Steak all the way! (What's your favorite cut? I like sirloin.)

Favorite movie: Terminator: Judgment Day ( I feel guilty for liking the sequel more than the original...), Jurassic World

Favorite video game: KSP

Favorite board game: Monopoly (I will rule the world. And own you. Every. Single. Time.)

Bookshelf:

Pulling the Plug: ON HIATUS (For now...)

I'll Be Back, Freddy: Major project, third priority

Remember me?: Major project, second priority

Friendly Animatronics: ON HIATUS (For now...)

Faulty Animatronics: Minor project, may become major in the future

My Name is Springtrap: Major project, first priority

May the fourth be with you: An epic trollfic saga: One-shot

The Bite of '87: One-Shot

Skyscrapers: One-shot

In all seriousness:

Today, we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies such as don't spend more than you can earn, and reliable strategies like adults, not children, are in charge. His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Neosporin, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, places of worship became places of business, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home without having to worry about the burglar sueing you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded $3,000,000 when she sued the McDonalds that had given her the coffee.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Humor corner

On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping." (But I have no other time to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos! "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." (Is this the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (But how do I use regular soap?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (It's only a suggestion, though!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (A little late, don't you think?)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (Oh, what a wonderful discovery! I will try it out at once!)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But that would save me so much time!)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (Really, I thought they were supposed to keep me awake!)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (Oh no! I can't use them in the walls?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Umm... Can someone help me out here?)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Well actually, this is a legitimate warning as peanuts aren't actually nuts!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (But how do you eat nuts?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (To be honest, I blame the parents for this one!)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Are people actually this idiotic? Please, raise your hand if you've tried this!)
On a packet of smoked salmon: "Warning. May contain fish." (But... But... That's impossible!)
On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So... let me get this straight. We don't get fake fake bacon, we get real fake bacon.)
On a Korean kitchen knife: "Warning: keep out of children." (Ummm... Are you sure something didn't get lost in the translation?!)

Grammar

So many FanFiction writers constantly confuse the following:
your/you're
there/their/they're
to/too/two

Copy and paste this onto YOUR profile if YOU'RE smart enough to know the difference! (Note the YOUR and YOU'RE!)
If you DETEST apostrophes being in the wrong place, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you WISH that every single FanFiction writer checked their work for grammatical and spelling errors BEFORE (not after, that would be a little late) posting it, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you HATE it when people don't know when to use 'less' and 'fewer', copy and paste this onto your profile!
If it REALLY bugs you that people mix up 'me' and 'I', copy and paste this onto your profile!