thegirlwiththerainboweyes
Author has written 4 stories for Maze Runner Trilogy, and Hunger Games. Please don't hate me for this! I DO NOT agree with it! The ones it bold are me. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. Girl Comebacks! Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine. Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator. Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized. Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today. Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together. Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together. Man: Your eyes, they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing. Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell. Girls, copy and paste this on your profile. HOW HARRY POTTER FANS DIFFER FROM NORMAL PEOPLE: Normal People: Fear the name of the Shakespeare play "Macbeth" HP Fans: Fear the name "Voldemort" Normal People: De-weed a garden HP Fans: De-Gnome a garden Normal People: Think time travel is impossible HP Fans: Go to Hermione if they want proof of a time turner Normal People: Compete in the FIFA World Cup HP Fans: Compete in the Triwizard Tournament Normal People: Gather into groups because of natural disasters HP Fans: Gather into groups because of Lord Voldemort Normal People: Cry when a childhood pet dies HP Fans: Cry when Fred Weasley dies Normal People: Think that no one can come back to life HP Fans: Know people can if they have a Horcrux Normal People: Don't have this on their profile HP Fans: MUST Have this on their profile Copy and paste this on your profile if you love Harry Potter! 9 Things I Hate About People 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my pants when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually. 3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Dang right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid 12 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the floor... 6. When people who ask, 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8. When people say 'life is short'. What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here? You Know You're a Book Addict If: You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on. (Yup) Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (Yup) You write fanfictions about the book. (Yup) You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. (This describes my purpose.) You accidentally call everyone by the character's names. Everything reminds you of the book. (Yup) You quote random lines all the time. (Yup) You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't. You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class. (Yup) You've got a book memorized. (Well, I have page 250 You've read a book more than five times. (Yup) You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (Always) You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional. (This is me right here) You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional. (Yes) You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character. Your idol is a character from a book. (Definitely.) In case you needed proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods: 1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children (So I'm supposed to give it to...?) 2. Staple's letter opener: Caution: Blades are very sharp. Safety goggles recommended (Wait a sec while I grab my safety googles to open this letter) 3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping (shoot... that's the only time I have to curl my hair!) 4. Candle: Warning: A burning candle is fire (And you thought I didn't know that...?) 5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking (Oh, thanks for the warning.) 6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado (And against the tornado it would do what...?) 7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts (Oh, good to know.) 8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Out of Children (I thought we were supposed to stab them, though...) 9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted. (But I though it was instant death...) 10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping (But hair coloring tastes so good on Mint Chocolate Chip!) 11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap (Oh, good, I thought the soap was radioactive.) 13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required (Only some?) 15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.) 16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?) 17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion). 18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well... a bit late, huh!) 19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...) 20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)? 21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.) 22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because??...) 23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?) 24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious) 25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash) 26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?) 27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.) 28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children." (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation...) 29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?) 30. On a can of tuna-- "Warning: Contains Tuna"(Never would have guessed) Copy and paste on your profile to spread the stupidity! Dear bullies, See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? Last night he Talked his friend out of suicide. See that girl you just called fat? She is starving herself. See that old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars? He fought for our country. See that young boy you must made fun of for always being sick? He has to walk home in the snow cause his family is too poor. See that girl you made fun of for wearing lots of make-up? You bullied her for being ugly without it too. Re-Post this if you are against bullying The Difference of Normal People and PJO Fans NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG! PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS! NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you! PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you! NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY! PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile PJO FANS: Would have this on their profile already Contrary to popular belief, Rule 1 is not 'The Doctor always lies.' Rule 1 is in fact, a rule for the fandom and the companion. Rule 1: Always stay true to the Doctor. Our loyalty is not to an actor or his abilities even though you might express favoritism a lot, it's to stay true to his character. While 1 might be hard to relate too (for some people) and 3 wears frills (but knows awesome Kung-Fu) and 5 might be bit of a pansy (for some) and 6 might be too gun-friendly (for others) and 10 might be really preachy (for my Dad, who really doesn't like new who) and 11 too silly and 12 too grumpy- every Doctor has his faults but every Doctor makes up for it with his advantages. Deal with it, and stay true to the Doctor. He might change his face, he might change his clothes, he might change his accent and his habit, but he doesn't change inside. Inside he's still the same old Doctor and I know there are fans out there who hate 11 because he made 10 leave or think 12 is too old, but you should know from watching Doctor Who that he WILL change. I've met a gentleman who hates new who! Why? Because the Doctor is different! Of course he's different! It's called regeneration! And let's not forget the fan I've met who hates classic who, because the Doctor is different (he's older- really? Really?) and because the effects aren't very good. Like, you do realize it was in black and white for two regenerations- right? They did a good job with their limited resources and budget of, what? Five dollars? BBC predicted that Doctor Who would fail (Ha!) so cut them so slack. He's old, so what? In a decade or so, you will be too. You might not like the new Doctor at first, but he will creep up on you and soon he's the best (I speak from experince) so please give him a chance and stay true to the Doctor. 98% of Girls would cry if Justin Bieber dissapeared off the face of the Earth. Post this on your page if you are one of the 2% that would run around the house screaming: "Yay! I'll never have to hear his irritating voice ever again!" 98% of the girls in the world would die if Robert Pattinson was kidnapped. 1.9% of them would be laughing their socks off. 0.1% of them would be snickering and poking their new hostage with a stick. I would sooooo be in the 0.1% category! 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breath. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others. 90 percent of teens would have a breakdown if Miley Cyrus was standing on the edge of a 6 story building. Copy and paste this if you'd be one of the 10 percent yelling jump *! You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat. 97% of people would yell "STOP!" 2% of them would cheer, 1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet. Post this on you profile if you are that 1%... I'm sorry, it's not like I ment to brake his nose, but who would you rather the puppy or him? That's what I thought. Most girls like pink Most girls where eye shadow and make-up Most girls yell at rain Most girls love guys who don't love them Most girls be what other people want them to be Most girls love to be hated, and hate to be loved Most girls are selfish Most girls are fake But. . . Other girls like red Other girls where nothing but their dirty clothes from yesterday Other girls play in the rain Other girls kick a guy when they don't love them Other girls be themselves Other girls laugh at being hated, and love to be loved Other girls care for others before themselves Other girls are real Most girls think this is stupid and hate it, Other girls will love this and post it immediately This has got to be one of the most clever brainteasers I've seen in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble. DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE : When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ELECTION - RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: I'M A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE o O o "Let me tell you a story. I was never the girl that boys wrote love songs for, never the girl that had the world yo-yoed around her fingers, never the girl that spent midnights on the beach with red plastic cups in her hands. I was the girl that spent recess on the swings, my palms stretched around chains that locked me to the earth and swung me to the stars. I was the girl who hid behind four corners of a novel because words have always been more patient than people. I was the girl who held the cloak of invisibility behind the cloak of indifference. On my yearbook they would write 'You rock, don't ever change,' but how do you listen when you stare at your reflection in mirrors and only see a paper crane falling apart at the seams? I told myself what no one else would tell me, I said 'Your body is made of ivory bridges beneath the pavement of skin. You are the causeway to every destination, where you go and what you do is entirely up to you,' I said, 'If you you don't like the route you're taking the car you're driving, the world you're in, you can change it. If you don't like you, you can change it. You want to be a writer so let this be your work of art. You are the poet and the poem, the conductor and the orchestra. Write your life like you would read it. Remember that every line within you can be crossed out, every noun not needed, every adjective all wrong. Throw yourself down unexpected roads. Turn right when you want to go left. Remember that it's okay to be more than one genre. You're allowed to sit down on a park bench reading Bukowski at midnight and stand up listening to Kanye. You're allowed to always wear black when your favorite color is pink. You're allowed to be a sonnet and also a country song.' I told the girl filled with self-hate 'It's okay, this is only the first draft'" -Kelsey Danielle |
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