Pollicem Legere was born the great-great-great-great-great-great-great third-niece twice removed of Caligula Legere, the dreadfully misunderstood, legendary Roman emperor. (Though the family accounts passed from generation to generation indicate that he was, in fact, an incredibly cuddly man.) Unlike Caligula, Pollicem has a passion for taxidermy, participating in American Civil War re-enactments, and competitive sheep-shearing, for which she has participated in countless elite tournaments across the country. Next year she hopes to become World Champion, with a ranking of 2794.

Pollicem currently spends her time writing fanfic in an unassuming cave in the Urals which is luxuriously furnished with heat, electricity, running water, and calculus books, in case she needs to calculate the optimal way from her home to the nearest market to restock supplies. The cave also possesses glorious views of the Eiffel Tower. It is not for sale.