uhnonniemiss
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Joined 09-03-13, id: 5094501, Profile Updated: 07-24-14
Author has written 25 stories for Web Shows, Pacific Rim, and Casualty.

Writing fics, eating pizza, the loser business.

Probably asleep.

Tumblr: uhnonniemiss or scandalouscactus pick your favourite

Twitter: @NotfunnyP

Fictionpress: patriciasnake

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Pacific Rim: New Chance by Elhini Prime reviews
They say that when you go through the Drift, only your partner sees your memories. This, however, is not true. Even though no one will ever know. No one ever thinks to ask the Jaeger. Post Pacific Rim. First fic for this category so please be gentle!
Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 58 - Words: 154,114 - Reviews: 774 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 282 - Updated: 6/12/2015 - Published: 11/10/2013 - [Raleigh B., Mako M.] Gipsy Danger - Complete
Together by CapturetheFinnick reviews
Just a few oneshots, each a year apart regarding Dan and Phil's life now that they have a child. Phan. Fluff. Don't read if you don't like family fics. Just an idea I had.
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,506 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 7/22/2014 - Published: 2/12/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
The Day the Earth Stood Still by VampirePam reviews
Newt Geiszler Pro-Tip #37: When recording a top-secret love confession for your lab partner because you think you're going to die, do your best not to leave it laying around your joint workspace, just in case you make it. Hermann Gottlieb Pro-Tip #108: Always tidy your research area thoroughly. You never know what you might find there.
Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,687 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/19/2014 - Newton G., Hermann G. - Complete
Red String by CrazyMetalhead reviews
'An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.' Phan oneshot.
Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,538 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/29/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
I Adore You by witbeyondmeasureXOX reviews
Dan's incessant singing while he and Phil are baking was driving Phil crazy, but then again, everything about Dan drives Phil crazy. Established couple. Just a quirky little oneshot filled with Phan fluff! :)
Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/20/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Store Alarms Are Yellow-Orange by Prussian Blue Love reviews
Sensory overloads are never fun. (synesthete!Newt and T cuz can you really imagine Newt not swearing?)
Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 753 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/18/2014 - Hermann G., Newton G. - Complete
Wings by derpette-Waffle reviews
Dan is a fairy in training, living on Earth while he attends the Underground Academy. There, he and his friends (and best friend) train to become able fairies and dream of soon entering their home world of Celcyon. But things soon start to head downhill, and things quickly go from bad to worse -both for Celcyon, and for our own planet.
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 888 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/17/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire, Kickthepj, Crabstickz
Happy Ending? by CapturetheFinnick reviews
Dan and Phil fight and Phil storms out, but will it all be okay in the end? Fluff. Phan.
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,435 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Published: 3/14/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Our Little Paradise by bloggerofbakerstreet reviews
Multi chapter fic Sherlock and John both attend Mythwater Boarding School, both struggling with their dark pasts. But can two damaged souls find solace in one another's scars? And what happens when Moriarty begins his dangerous games? Much Johnlock, Warnings: Mentions of child abuse, sexual abuse.
Sherlock - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 53,368 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 58 - Updated: 3/12/2014 - Published: 9/1/2013 - Sherlock H., John W., J. Moriarty
Meet Me in the Pouring Rain by CapturetheFinnick reviews
A fluffy story, Dan is in love with Phil, but Phil doesn't know it yet. Phan. Rated T for swearing.
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,051 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/1/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Telekinesis by Forever-phanfics reviews
Phil gets sent to a boarding school for people with strange abilities after an incident at his previous school. There, he meets Dan who wants nothing more than to hate his guts. But maybe there's a reason for that? Getting a crush, however, was certainly something neither Dan or Phil had planned... Phan, possible kickthestickz?, will contain smut later
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,392 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 12/22/2013 - Published: 12/12/2013 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire
Exposed by multifandomer reviews
Ridgewell High School is known for its fast spreading rumours. So when someone starts a blog dedicated to outing people's secrets, everyone becomes paranoid that theirs will be next.
Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,887 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 66 - Updated: 11/23/2013 - Published: 10/23/2013 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire
What We Both Know by TheDoctorsCompanion13 reviews
The term 'old married couple' was thrown around a lot when the subject turned to Hermann and Newton. They'd heard it a lot, enough times that it became something of an inside joke between them. One would nudge the other and they'd share a quick smile before returning to the lab, drawing another line in the corner of the chalkboard where they kept count.
Pacific Rim - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,664 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/25/2013 - Newton G., Hermann G. - Complete
Addressing the Elephant by Gertrude Granger reviews
In which a couple of loose ends get tied up.
Pacific Rim - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 569 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/17/2013 - Newton G., Hermann G. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Forget-Me-Not reviews
Ethan comes back to work after a week off, and he thinks it would be really nice if people would stop looking at him like he was about to have some kind of meltdown. Also, where the hell is Cal?
Casualty - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,120 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/10/2016 - Dylan K., Ethan H., Lily C., Rita F.
Forevermore reviews
Phan oneshot. Dan is in love with Phil- that much is certain. What's less certain is whether or not somebody's going to get slapped in the face with the bouquet. Fluffity fluff (with a brief description of a panic attack). Please review to receive the secrets of the master skink xxx (uhnonniemiss is back tell a friend)
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,600 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/1/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Pride reviews
Newmann oneshot. Newt takes Hermann on a date to his first LGBT parade- fluff through and through, except for a little reference to acephobia x Pls review to protect me from my clam overlords
Pacific Rim - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,535 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/30/2014 - [Hermann G., Newton G.] - Complete
In His Own Image reviews
Newmann oneshot. It was common knowledge in the Shatterdome that Newt Geiszler was a Bad Singer. So there was absolutely no way that the voice singing The Maccabees in a gentle tenor could belong to Newton. No way at all. (Pure fluff, no warnings except a few swears, please review x)
Pacific Rim - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,626 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/31/2014 - [Hermann G., Newton G.] - Complete
Stargazers reviews
Newmann oneshot. Newt died over a year ago, but Hermann still visits from time to time. Trigger warning for death; this is basically a huge angst fest I'm sorry xxx Please tell me what you thought, I love your views!
Pacific Rim - Rated: K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,121 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/13/2014 - [Hermann G., Newton G.] - Complete
Fear of a Name reviews
Newmann oneshot. Newt and Hermann never could decide on how to define what they are to each other. It takes several years, thousands of kisses, a vat of acid, a big fight, and a sunny Boston evening to help them choose. Pure fluff but there are a few swears x Please review to save me from the evil grasp of the skink
Pacific Rim - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,245 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 7/24/2014 - [Hermann G., Newton G.] - Complete
Love Potion reviews
Phan Oneshot. Phil is Dan's best friend, his constant; so falling in love? Maybe not the best idea. But on a trip to the Harry Potter set, magic isn't the only thing that's in the air. Just fluff literally coma-inducing fluff, no warnings. Please review to save me from the grips of the deadly lizard people xxx
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,146 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/6/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
A Little Bit of Magic reviews
Phan oneshot. It's Dan's eleventh birthday, and he's looking forward to getting his Hogwarts letter. There's just one problem- Hogwarts isn't real, so he won't get one, right? Wrong, if your best friend is Phil Lester, apparently. Kid!AU, super fluff, no warnings. Every time you review a fairy gets it's wings so please help it fly xxx
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,521 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/22/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
Like Knives in My Heart reviews
Phan oneshot. Phil has been abused for so long, he doesn't think he's human anymore. But maybe, just maybe, he'll realise he was never anything less. Based off the song "Human" by Christina Perri. Angst but it's kinda hopeful angst? Contains triggering content- see author's note at start of fic. Please review to receive the secrets of the capybara leaders xxx
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,643 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/10/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Chamomile Tea reviews
Fem!Phan oneshot. Danni gets food poisoning, and Pippa looks after her. No warnings or swearing, but yeah it's a fem!AU if you're not about that life x Ultra fluffy comfort. I love you guys a lot and your reviews are v important so please tell me what you thought xxx
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,023 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/3/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Strawberries and Chocolate reviews
Phan oneshot. (Fem!Phan) Pippa thinks her sex life with Danni has lost its spark, so Danni decides to spice it up a little. Smut but also hella fluff. Rated M for strong language- oh yeah, and the lesbian sex. That too. This is my first smut ever so please, please tell me what you thought xxx
Web Shows - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,864 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/26/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
You Look So Perfect reviews
Phan oneshot. Dan is directionless, and tired of waking up in the bedrooms of men he met the night before. That is, until he meets Phil, who's philosophy might just give him a new lust for life. Angsty fluff. Contains strong language, sexual themes, and a /very/ brief mention of suicide and drug abuse. Please review to help save small writer from loneliness x
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,863 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/19/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Simplicity reviews
Phan oneshot. Dan doesn't know how to tell Phil he loves him, so enlists the help of PJ. But what will happen when Phil comes home early and misunderstands the situation? No warnings or swearing, just fluff xxx Reviews make the flowers grow so please help the environment and tell me what you thought :)
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,870 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/12/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
You're My Morphine reviews
Phan Oneshot. Phil's mind has been broken; whenever anything worries him, his body reacts with some kind of injury. He begins to push away those he loves, but what will happen when the person he loves most of all threatens to leave forever? Angst with a side of fluff. Warnings for alcohol abuse, blood and scenes of paranormal harm. Please review for my love metaphorical socks xxx
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,617 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/5/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Buttercup reviews
Phan Oneshot. Dan and Phil find out that parenting isn't always paradise, but what will they do when their daughter Lia falls ill? No warnings/ swearing, just pure fluff xxx Please review in exchange for golden wombats :)
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,084 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/15/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Glitter reviews
Phan Oneshot. While filming for the Brits, Phil can't stop himself from staring at Dan. It turns out that fifteen minutes and some glitter can make all the difference. A few minor swears and a little bit of steamy kissing but it's all PG-13 and fluffy fluff xxx Please review to protect me from my clam overlords.
Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,641 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/7/2014 - [AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire] - Complete
Decembers reviews
Phan Oneshot. One day, in the snow, Phil tells Dan he loves him. A year later, in the rain, he takes it back. Very angsty, with no swearing but a slight warning for arguments. Please review it means all the world and more xxx
Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,330 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/4/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
My Love reviews
Phan oneshot. Lia, Dan and Phil's daughter, is a little confused about her Daddy's name. No warnings, no swearing, just good old fluff xxx Reviews are the food of love, so please review on, give me excess of it :)
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,295 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/22/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
223 point 7 miles reviews
Phan poem. Set in 2009, Phil thinks about Dan and the distance that separates them. No warnings. Ultra Fluff. Omg wtf asdfghjkl two fics in one week? Yeah man I thought because it's Valentines and we all need a bit of fluffiness in our lives, and since I had this already written, I'd give you an extra upload! Please review for gratitude and cyber socks
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 302 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/14/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
Not Quite Perfect reviews
Dan tries to propose, but things don't go quite as he planned. Oneshot, hella Phan, hella fluff, no warnings. Please review for a free cyber turtle
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,406 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/10/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
Where the Lines Overlap reviews
Phan oneshot. When Dan sees someone about to commit suicide, he decides to help them, but not everything turns out quite as planned- he certainly didn't expect to see the ghost of fragile, lonely Phil Lester. Rating: T- Strong language and adult themes. Warnings: Character death. Major trigger warning for suicide/ suicidal thoughts. Please review, it means a lot!
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,393 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/27/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
Let Me Be Your Light reviews
Phan oneshot. A blind fan meets Dan and Phil and asks them to describe each other, and confessions are made. Rating: T- quite a few swears oops sorry Warnings: Mild self-hate. Brief mention of cancer
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,455 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/13/2014 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
Adhesive Ducks reviews
Oneshot. Dan slips in the shower during an intimate moment, and fluff ensues. Contains strong language and suggestive themes/ very mild smut at the beginning, but mostly fluffiness :) Phan obviously. Free lobster marriage for all reviewers xxx
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,322 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/23/2013 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
The Swing at the End of the World reviews
AU where humans are given a watch at birth that shows you how much time you have left before you die. The year is 2025, and Phil's watch has ticked down to his final day, so Dan helps him carry out his last wish. Warnings: Character death, mentions of cancer.
Web Shows - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,528 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 4 - Published: 11/2/2013 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete
Learning To Dance In The Rain reviews
Phil is afraid of thunderstorms, and after he comes home crying one day, Dan decides to help. 3 chapters, lots of Phan, and lots and lots of fluff xxx please review for my eternal love
Web Shows - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,452 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/19/2013 - Published: 10/5/2013 - AmazingPhil, Danisnotonfire - Complete