Pineapples are much better than cucumbers. So, my name should be pineapple salad, okay?

I regret everything, mostly that my bowl isn't filled with grapes covered in ranch dressing. It's good, I promise...try it sometime...I dare you! :3

Let's be realistic for a moment. No one is going to accuse you of copyright infringement...that's a youtube thing, darlings.

Let us also be realistic about Vampire Diaries, okay? None of the pairings are okay. Most of them are very dark. Let us not pretend that Klaus is a beautiful, misunderstood man who draws horses (something that makes him so deep and mysterious, I'm sure).

StefanElena: The latter cheated on him with his brother. Enough said.

DamonElena: A relationship that began with a little brotherly betrayal. Not too harmless because "Damon never gets the girl", right? It wasn't his girl to have in the first place. Enough said.

MattCaroline: She is a vampire, he is a human. She is a blood sucker. He is a blood bag. Need I say more? Human/Vampire relationships are stupid, Edward Cullen. (They were cute as a human-human relationship, I will admit)

MattRebekah: Matt helped kill Finn and Kol. No, but that's okay...They were just her brothers, no big deal.

TylerCaroline: Beastiality innuendos anyone? With just a little side of necrophilia.

BonnieDamon: He almost killed her. Yeah, he tries to apologize consistently...but that can't be forgiven, you know. Sounds like an abusive relationship to me. "Didn't he try to kill you once?" "Oh, yeah, but he changed. He's a better person." "Oh...so that makes everything he did okay...I see. Makes sense."

BonnieKol: Well, he tried to kill her, too. Romantic, huh? Yeah, I think so, too. Gives me the shivers when I imagine someone trying to kill me. So sexy. Mmm. Yeah. I like that.

You get my point? Good. Rant over.

So, let's be honest. These couples aren't sweet in any way.

They are dark.

And dark is sexy.

Mmmmmmm.

Like an Oreo cookie sexy.