I give up. Read the first chapter of my book HERE

Hello there, thanks for reading!

I'm a Santa Cruz resident with a degree in philosophy and ethics, and I have a soul-sucking job as a corporate drone for a small international conglomerate you've probably never heard of. My turn-ons include silver, wine, ridiculously over the top behavior, and sound monetary policy. Some of my turn-offs are war, zombie motorists, and the Federal Reserve. I hope you've been enjoying reading as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Are you a publisher? Do you think my stories are good, but lament the fact that because the characters and settings are all probably under some kind of hideous copyright, they'll be completely impossible to monetize? Well, you're in luck! This is just a side project I'm using in hopes of promoting my actual work, which includes a 4-novel series that weighs in at a beefy 410,000 words. If you like beautiful women, big guns, sarcastic introspection, and irreverant religious commentary, you will totally love my Blizzard in Heaven series. Seriously, I'd like to publish this. I promise it'll sell. Just send me a [PM] if you have any ins, because the stats prove people read what I write and come back for more.